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Hosting Expectations
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amother


 

Post Mon, Jan 19 2015, 12:07 pm
There are wonderful heimish homemakers who cater on the side. I bought food from one for a sheva brachot I made in my house for 50 people. It was about $5 a person. I would have spent the same amount on raw materials. And everyone complimented me on my cooking and wanted the recipes because the food was homemade.
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Raisin




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 19 2015, 12:18 pm
amother wrote:
I'm the OP. I really appreciate the responses and perspectives. It gave me a lot to think about.

I think Luppamom and several other posters made a good point when she talks about the two types of hosting - the social guests for which you want to do a higher degree of niceness, and there are ranges of what that could mean, and the guests who just need a place and company, for which the most simple meal would be perfect. This Shabbat, we had a large group of guests who just needed a place/company. I couldn't do takeout because there were too many food restrictions, but I did a really simple meal, everyone loved it, the conversations were excellent, and it was one of the most fun Shabbat meals I've ever had.

Part of the problem when DH and I talk about hosting is that we tend to lump both situations into the same category. DH truly believes that it is socially acceptable to serve a simple meal to the social reasons guests whereas I just don't. I tried separating our social guests into categories, ie. those with high meal expectations and those with low meal expectations, and invite the low expectations guests first until I felt comfortable enough hosting to invite the high expectations guests (we haven't been married long and I'm new to hosting because I didn't grow up with it), but DH was upset that I was categorizing our friends.

I wish there was an easier way of knowing who really has those high expectations and how far you really have to go. We have friends who are crazy talented cooks who invite us for the most elaborate of meals and I just don't have the kind of time or expertise to match that level of effort. If I invite them, how simple a meal is insultingly simple? DH truly thinks they'll understand, but I feel like they would be insulted if we couldn't put more effort into it.


I wouldn't serve deli and challa or only soup if you invite those types of guests. I think a simple starter course (salads, fish or a soup) plus a main course which includes one type of meat and chicken, a side dish (or two) and a vegetable is fine. Plus some type of dessert which you can buy if necessary. I don't think its a problem to get good quality take out for some of the food.
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