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Why are you religious?
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cookiejar




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 18 2015, 11:40 pm
I love my life, I love this life, I fully and wholly believe every part of what I have been taught and live and do, and I would not look anywhere else because this is Emes and nothing else is. And if anyone thinks that the world that is not Emes can provide them happiness that they are lacking, then I feel they are mistaken. I am so grateful to be a daughter of Hashem, and although I have many shortcomings, my deepest desire in the core of my being, is to fill that role and make Him proud.
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amother


 

Post Mon, Jan 19 2015, 10:33 am
I grew up modern orthodox and after high school in Eretz Yisroel (in seminary sort of) did a lot of learning and definitely found more understanding and purpose and became much frummer. Not just externally being stricter in halacha but learned a lot of hashkofa and things like understanding why we're created and what to focus on every day. More of a closer spiritual connection I guess.

Now at the very busy stage of life I'm in, I do a lot by rote and would love to spend more time learning.

I think going to shiurim or listening to Kol Haloshon (eg) is a big boost for me to remind me of the spiritual side of things.

I don't really have time to daven (lack of motivation too) but try to constantly speak to Hashem for help with so many small things and thank for the small and big things too.
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amother


 

Post Tue, Jan 20 2015, 4:02 pm
*BTW thank you for this questionnaire....got me doing some real cheshbon nefesh here - thanks so much!

Is it by rote?
I try hard for it not to be. It can be hard to focus and try to prevent it from feeling routine especially with small children, the school run, general daily stuff, etc.

Is it because you actively learn/believe that Judaism is the way to go?
Oh, yes, 100%. Hashem and His Torah are the only real truths in this crazy world...

Is it because you were raised this way?
No! Long story...orthodox convert by my own free choice!

What keeps you going?
Knowing that even though I may cry or feel lost sometimes, I am under Hashem's wing. Being conscious that now I have to pass all of this on to my children (and I have a lot to learn because, well I didn't grow up Jewish!) Listening to shiurim and presentations - learning new things, discovering things that I would like to incorporate into my day/life and try to make it happen. With Siyata DiShmaya, I try to keep reaching higher and higher.

Is your community a factor?
I was going to write yes and no, but just realised we actually made aliyah 5 months ago for that exact reason. I like to have like-minded people around me, encouraging me to keep growing and learning. Also am married to a Teimani, and the community (and his extended family) are very large here in Israel.

What areas do you struggle with?
Who doesn't struggle from time to time? I have trouble concentrating on kavanot with my brachot. I could partly attribute it to small children and hectic morning rushing but I need to work harder on it. Also to judge l'caf zchut. And tikkun ha'middot. They're all works in progress.

Are you comfortable not really going anywhere with your Judaism?
The reason why I chose Judaism is because it's NOT static, it's always moving and changing. I find myself challenged all the time to work on my emunah and bitachon, my middot and chinuch, my relationship with my husband, with Hashem... so I don't ever feel static. But no big jumps. If I want to get somewhere, even though I want to rush ahead and do everything at once, I force myself to take baby steps (so that it's a gradual change and less likely to backfire...).

Do you have questions you can't find answers to?
No. And I also love it how Judaism encourages asking questions - that is something that is basically shunned by other religions. There's a logical answer or explanation for everything in Judaism, you need to know who to ask. If I have difficulty finding an answer, by praying to Hashem it comes to light, or I'm pointed in the right direction. This is in total contrast to what I was told to do when asking questions growing up, which was, to put it bluntly, "don't ask questions, just pray to this guy and everything will be ok". That's not an answer!

How do you feel about being frum? (How do you feel about being Jewish?)
I am proud to be doing Hashem's will. I am proud to wear scarves everywhere (even in chutz l'aretz, even though I had many strange stares), I am proud to wear long sleeves in the height of summer (though that got more stares than the scarf-wearing), I am proud that my 3 year old can say kriyat shema, I am proud that my husband wears a kippah, I am proud to keep kosher, I am proud to keep Shabbat (but not always in the mood to clean up after it...ha ha). Having been totally not frum, well, totally not Jewish, I love all of it.

About being Jewish, I love being close to Hashem - I love the feeling that I'm not alone, I love knowing that my life is not a mindless, empty hole that I'm trying to fill with everything, anything to make it meaningful - Hashem loves me, I have a purpose, a reason why I'm here. There's a bigger picture that I'm a part of. I love feeling like I'm where I belong. I couldn't even dream of giving any of it up.

Whoops. Lots of rambling. But that's my two cents.
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