Asking parents if kids are vaccinated b4 coming over?

amother

Fri, Jan 23 2015, 12:29 pm

There are 7 confirmed and many suspected cases of measles in our area. I have a 9 month infant who hasn't gotten her measles vaccination as she isn't 12 months old yet.

I know that a lot of people in our community don't vaccinate their kids.

DH lost a baby brother z"l, to a vaccine preventable illness ( two years before the vaccine was developed). So he is understandably very fearful until our kids get all their vaccines.

I have older children and I don't know which of their friends are vaccinated. The vaccination rate at our shul's preschool is super low so I already don't go with her to shul. I don't want to have any unvaccinated kids over until DD is vaccinated, at least until this measles outbreak is over.

Would you be offended if I asked you if your kids were vaccinated before having the kids over or your family over for Shabbat? If you said "no" would you be offended if I then explained that we're not hosting unvaccinated people right now?

I don't want this thread to turn into a vaccine debate. I just would like ideas on how to handle my situation.

L25

Fri, Jan 23 2015, 1:05 pm

I think it's fine to ask. I find it disturbing that people think people might lie. If I (hypothetically- I do vaccinate but understand why some people might not) decide not to vaccinate my kids that's my decision, if you don't want my kids over then, that's yours and I have to deal with the consequences of my decisions.

Hashem_Yaazor

Fri, Jan 23 2015, 1:19 pm

I think if you're asking, it would also be prudent to ask the adults if they made sure to get their boosters, as immunity from the vaccine wanes. Many adults are no longer immune (and in fact many women find out during pregnancy bloodwork, but the fathers may not know).

Hashem_Yaazor

Fri, Jan 23 2015, 1:21 pm

That being said, and you have every right to want to decrease your baby's chances of exposure, the fear over measles is overly hyper-inflated. In America, with our better nourishment than the rest of the world, the 1/1000 chance of death is not anywhere near that high. We've had over 1500 cases of measles since the last measles related death here. Yes, death can occur, but it's extremely, extremely unlikely in America, and if your daughter is exposed, please do not freak out.

Peanut2

Fri, Jan 23 2015, 1:31 pm

Absolutely ask.

I delay the chicken pox vaccine and would be upfront about that.

Asking kids is not the same as asking adults, btw, as kids are far more likely to be exposed.

Dolly Welsh

Fri, Jan 23 2015, 1:44 pm

I am all for considering other people's feelings.

But this "offended" word bemuses me in this context.

The life of an infant versus somebody being offended.

That isn't hard.

Are you pg again?

It is not good to live near bad neighbors, says Avos. Maybe move? You may have more children even after this one gets her shots. Living there is living on the side of an active volcano.

Good Shabbos and good luck. Sympathy from here.

marina

Fri, Jan 23 2015, 1:56 pm

Hashem_Yaazor wrote:

Accepting your statistics solely for the purpose of this argument, I wonder if you are an adherent of statistics regarding child safety in general. For example, do you leave your infant home alone when you go out, taking comfort in the fact that the chance of death for your child is infinitely miniscule in America?

greenhelm

Fri, Jan 23 2015, 2:02 pm

Hashem_Yaazor wrote:

That being said, and you have every right to want to decrease your baby's chances of exposure, the fear over measles is overly hyper-inflated.

One could say the same about the fear of the measles vaccine. Just saying.

Barbara

Fri, Jan 23 2015, 3:14 pm

marina wrote:

Why bother with a car seat or seat belts? Only an infinitesimal portion of car rides result in an accident.

And did you know that only 10% of lifelong smokers will get lung cancer? Pass the Marlboro.

amother

Fri, Jan 23 2015, 3:20 pm

I'm a non-vaxer. I would not be offended if you asked. I would not lie about it. And I would not be offended if an invitation was retracted.
It's your right to protect your family in whatever way you feel prudent, even if I disagree with your thinking. I only ask for the same respect in return.

greenhelm

Fri, Jan 23 2015, 3:23 pm

Barbara wrote:

Compare and contrast with 25% of the affected in the current measles outbreak hospitalized.

amother

Fri, Jan 23 2015, 3:40 pm

I was in a similar situation. A few mommies were getting together and I made sure that everyone was up to date. Some were too little to get them all but for those who were able to get it I wanted to make sure they did. I hope none lied. If you feel strongly that vaccines are not right, stand up for what you believe in, don't be offended and be up front. I compare it to vegetarianism. If you don't eat meat, I don't question it. I just need to know to make the proper decisions (ie menu).

SingALong

Fri, Jan 23 2015, 3:56 pm

Btw during a measles outbreak 1 1/2 years ago, I got my then 8 month old vaccinated as per dr recommendation and then again at 12 months. The dr told me we usually wait to vaccinate since baby is usually immune from mom till a year so vaccine wouldn't be effective anyways. At that time, the health dept issued the recommendation that babies from age 6 months and up vaccinate for measles due to outbreak. If you are in an area with an outbreak you may want to consider discussing with your pediatrician.