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Forum -> Household Management
I think I'm losing it!



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EMmom




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Jan 24 2015, 7:48 pm
I have 3 kids under the age of 7. I work part time but that does not mean I have more time to myself - I just get to spend more time with my baby (he takes his nap while im at work). As a result of my part time status we cannot afford a housekeeper. I am so exhausted running from work to baby I have no energy to cook and clean (my kids fight with me half the time when I make dinner and just want chicken nuggets) and have been doing just the minimum so my house is livable.

My husband is super helpful but simply not around enough. I feel like I'm barely managing, yet I feel like everyone is able to make nice suppers every night, challah from scratch... and whenever I complain pp say you are so lucky you can work part time. The baby doesn't let me do anything and I'm so tired at night I cant do more than the kitchen and laundry, I just want to put my feet up.

Is anyone else in this boat? just want to know I'm normal because everyone seem to be superwomen.
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SingALong




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Jan 24 2015, 7:56 pm
It doesn't matter what's "normal" there is no "normal" everyone manages their home with their capabilities and their situation. I too work part time and my baby naps while I'm at work. I come home to 3 little kids straight from work and I can only be busy with them. By the time the 3 toddlers get to bed my nerves are shot.

I find using a crockpot helpful. I can just throw in a bunch of ingredients and poof it's ready by supper. I freeze batches of soup. Then when I get home I just throw together a salad and cook pasta/rice (unless I put potatoes in the crockpot.) and maybe steam frozen veggies in microwave.
Honesty if my kids wanted only chicken nuggets if make it every night. Or just make a ton on Sunday freeze and reward for kids each night. Also Sunday's/at night peel and cut the veggies you'll need for the next few days and put into plastic containers in fridge. I Find the vegetable prep takes longest when cooking.

It's an overwhelming stage...I didn't feel this way after my last baby Sad...three little ones are HARD!!!
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imamom7




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Jan 24 2015, 10:08 pm
I also have 3 under 7 and work 25 hours a week-it is exhausting- can you work more so that you can afford more help? For me it's totally worth it
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amother


 

Post Sat, Jan 24 2015, 10:39 pm
Same here. 3 under 5, working part time, and watching all the super moms run their perfect lives around me while I feed my kids pizza bagels for dinner and fish clean pjs out of piles of unfolded laundry and bribe my oldest to go to bed with a cookie for breakfast.

I tell myself they won't be little forever. I'll get past this stage and look back and laugh. But right now I'm not laughing, I'm drowning. In laundry and dishes and separating fighting children and making dinner that they might actually eat and making sure no one steps on the baby and wiping noses and changing diapers and making school lunches and remembering mitzva notes and grocery shopping and cooking for shabbos and cleaning up toys and calming tantrums and trying to give my kids some individual attention and and and and and.

I love them so much, but some days I just want to hand them all over to some benevolent stranger for a few hours so I can just go to sleep.

It's totally normal, OP. I know, cuz it's driving me insane, but I'm not quite there yet. Ask me again when #4 is born, though...
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amother


 

Post Sun, Jan 25 2015, 12:18 am
It will get better! I had 4 kids under 4y and I call that time a Blur. Once my youngest his 3y it was like the world just got easier. So there is hope!

First, I never cooked fancy meals. I made them simple foods and my husband and I ate something different later when they were asleep. I hired a teen for a few hours daily to help me. We couldn't really afford it but every penny was worth it. It allowed to take just the baby on errands and I could go to the bathroom and know the kids were safe. I had her for 6 months and then I was fine.

The more children I had, the more organized I became. It was just out of necessity. My husband who is always helpful (but gone 12 hrs/day) had to step it up.

as for those perfect moms. A lot of it is smoke and mirrors. They act perfect but if you get to know them, you will see they are not. Just keep your head down and focus on yourself. Things will get easier.
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 25 2015, 5:15 pm
Do a search on this site and you will find variations of your post over and over and over, along with lots and lots of fine tips on time management, which at your stage of life consists mainly of simplifying everything from meals to wardrobes and closing your eyes to those housekeeping "sins" that bother you but cannot be handled at this stage.

Being able to do it all is a myth. You choose whatever is most important to you: clean house OR hot home-cooked meals, OR floor time with the kiddies OR me time etc. and the rest you have to catch as catch can. I recently heard a talk for women by someone you would think is a Supermom: important career, sizable growing family KA"H, frequent Shabbos guests, always looks like a million dollars. She said "There's no such thing as doing it all. There are weeks I go to work with the house looking ransacked. There are days my dc can't find clean shirts. There are shabbosim we do takeout. There are nights I go to bed with the sink full of dirty dishes. And that's OK because at this point in time that's the best I can do."

Not to worry that you will descend into total chaos and never emerge from the darkness. Eventually your children will grow up and become independent, and if they don't develop the habits of a Felix Ungar, they will at least stop dropping food on the floor and confine their disorderly conduct to their own rooms.
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