Shabbos Robe Etiquette?

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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette

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morecoffeeplease

Thu, Feb 05 2015, 11:35 am

Is it appropriate to wear a Shabbos robe on Friday night if you're visiting extended family you don't see often? My husband and I will be visiting his sister and brother-in-law. Neither of us are close with them. We would be staying where we will be eating so it's not an issue of is it OK to leave the house wearing one. There will be others visiting as well (more people & relatives we're not close with). My husband thinks it's totally fine. I was curious about others thoughts on this. BTW, it's a pretty formal velour one that wouldn't be mistaken for pajamas or a housecoat. I prefer to wear a robe because it is so much more comfortable, especially if I want to sit on the couch and read but would totally "get dressed" if it is indeed a faux pas. Thoughts?

MiracleMama

Thu, Feb 05 2015, 11:40 am

If your SIL wears one you can too. Why not call her and ask? In some communities it's the norm and considered totally elegant and respectful. In others its like coming to dinner in your PJs. So ask.

sky

Thu, Feb 05 2015, 11:45 am

I would call and ask her what she wears to the table Friday night and then do the same.

Iymnok

Thu, Feb 05 2015, 11:49 am

I would get dressed when there are other guests present. Otherwise, robe at night and possibly Shabbos afternoon.

spring13

Thu, Feb 05 2015, 12:41 pm

I don't think I would if there were other guests, especially non-family: I doubt people coming over for a meal will be in robes. But I would think it's fine to wear while you're hanging out, so you might as well bring it along.

watergirl

Thu, Feb 05 2015, 12:47 pm

Wear clothes at the meals, then change for lounging.

Lady Godiva

Thu, Feb 05 2015, 1:41 pm

Please get dressed.

greenfire

Thu, Feb 05 2015, 1:43 pm

robes these days are like luxurious gowns ... go for it !!!

amother

Thu, Feb 05 2015, 1:46 pm

I am a shabbos robe wearer. Recently I have noticed that more and more people are getting dressed in more casual type shabbos clothing. Even though I love robes, I have gotten dressed recently if I were around people. I do miss my robe but wear it whenever we are without guests. Maybe it makes a difference which age bracket you are? Another thing I have noticed is that since I am not so thin I don't have so many choices in clothing and felt that I looked good and was more comfortable in my robe. Oh, well.

rachel22

Thu, Feb 05 2015, 2:28 pm

Is it just me or are robes like night gowns . As a kid and teenager I used to wear them cuz that's what everyone did around me . But now looking back and looking around they are not something I would wear . They are thin and show every little curve and from of the body especially the behind.. Some of them literally look like something u would wear in a bedroom with ur dh. I think if u wanna be comfortable wear like a nice maxi skirt with a pretty top, elegant and comfy.. I find maxi dresses to be good too . And way cheaper.. Robes go for like 100 and more!
And dnt want to bash anyone but I see chasidim who are so careful about tziniut walk around outside with this flimsy thin little thing. I dunno I think it's wierd..

Ema of 5

Thu, Feb 05 2015, 2:33 pm

my robe is a nice sleeveless maxi dress with a shirt underneath. it it actually looks more like a dress than a robe, except that its very long. I would have no problem going out of the house in it, or wearing it to the table for the meal. but then again, I have no problem going out of the house in general wearing a robe, no matter what it looks like, or a snood....
as others said though, ask your sister in law what she thinks. no harm in asking Smile

Dandelion1

Thu, Feb 05 2015, 2:48 pm

I would suggest dressing for the meal... Especially since you don't know who the guests will be. Many people from different backgrounds do not "get" the shabbos robe thing.... I am accustomed to it now and will even wear one in certain very casual situations.....

But for those who do not wear robes in public, and have never seen it, it can be very baffling, and a little embarrassing .... DH and I were very taken aback by this practice when we first married. For us it was like sitting at a table with someone who forgot to get dressed....

morecoffeeplease

Sun, Feb 08 2015, 2:23 pm

I got dressed in the end and felt I was dressed appropriately. Thank you for the feedback.

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