Daughter is applying for Lakewood high schools

Simple1

Tue, Feb 10 2015, 8:34 am

Hope it goes well for you. We went through this some years ago, and even though my daughter didn't get accepted right away, we're totally fine now, and have long forgotten that episode.

I have a feeling that the people who have it the hardest are those who are stubborn about going to specific schools. If you keep in mind that the supposed elite schools are not necessarily better schools, it shouldn't be too bad. The less popular school might end up being better because they are not dealing with over sized classes, and they also have to work hard to keep up their reputation.

Chayalle

Tue, Feb 10 2015, 9:24 am

Simple1 wrote:

I have a feeling that the people who have it the hardest are those who are stubborn about going to specific schools. If you keep in mind that the supposed elite schools are not necessarily better schools, it shouldn't be too bad. The less popular school might end up being better because they are not dealing with over sized classes, and they also have to work hard to keep up their reputation.

This. A thousand times over.

OP feel free to p.m. me, as I have been there and am in it right now.

monseychick

Tue, Feb 10 2015, 9:31 am

Chayalle wrote:

This. A thousand times over.

OP feel free to p.m. me, as I have been there and am in it right now.

EXACTLY....... I have seen time and time and time again that the fights for so called "in schools" , are just women scratching and fighting each other in the store over a Cabbage Patch Doll or whatever the newest fad is...

Simple1

Tue, Feb 10 2015, 10:03 am

Chayalle wrote:

This. A thousand times over.

OP feel free to p.m. me, as I have been there and am in it right now.

OK, technically we're in it too this year, but dd is a sibling, so it's not a problem. Except that she found out from her friends that the (almost) perfect school she's going to is at the bottom of her friends' lists.

Chayalle

Tue, Feb 10 2015, 10:05 am

Simple1 wrote:

Wow. Am I you? Is your DD mine?

Scratching Head

serious identity crisis

Smile

Chayalle

Tue, Feb 10 2015, 3:41 pm

Posting this as a PSA for OP and anyone else applying to high schools in Lakewood.

What counts most in the application process (unless the prospective high school is your relative and you are on great terms, or such pull) is what your DD's school says about her and how positive they come across with that. That includes her principal and her 8th grade teacher as the primary sources. They are the ones who will be called as a reference, and what they say counts more than anything she may or may not say at an interview.

This being the case, you should speak to her teacher and principal. Make sure they know if you have a preference for a particular school, so that they can be more emphatic and enthusiastic when that school calls about your DD. Call them, ask them for guidance and support.

My source for this is a veteran 8th grade teacher (not my DD's - just friend of a friend), and my own experiences. It blows my mind, actually, that some don't know this and so take no action.

bayis

Tue, Feb 10 2015, 3:47 pm

Chayalle wrote:

Chayalle the thing is some ,and I'm not generalizing,teachers and principals may have their own agendas and ideas who they want to push for where.based on various cheshbonos.You have to be very savvy and stay on top of things with your own school too.

debsey

Tue, Feb 10 2015, 3:53 pm

Simple1 wrote:

we did this LAST year - dd went to a school without her BFF (she was a sibling and school is perfect for her). BFF went elsewhere with mostof therest of their crowd. We had a sad first 3 months. By now, she found her place. She's made new friends. Hang in there!

debsey

Tue, Feb 10 2015, 4:00 pm

Chayalle wrote:

this is very true. In my case, the principal told me if u want "Designer School X" u need to start marshaling your "pull". I asked her straight out -does this mean u r not going to advocate for her? Because I know that the principal's recommendation and "gushing" is the strongest factor. She told me straight out -I love ur daughter, she is wonderful. There is nothing BAD to say about her, but I have other priorities to "push" for. It is good that I knew this.

Simple1

Tue, Feb 10 2015, 4:02 pm

bayis wrote:

This is really intriguing. So we all know that tons of people want to get into one or maybe two schools. So the teacher is giving all these great references to those schools and the competition will still be rough.

Simple1

Tue, Feb 10 2015, 4:06 pm

debsey wrote:

Thanks. I'm optimistic that it will work out, especially that it's a small, warm school. Just right now we're busy talking to her about how brand-name school does not equal better school.

Chayalle

Tue, Feb 10 2015, 4:11 pm

bayis wrote:

This is true, so that's where your own "pull" comes in, whatever that may be.

But if you really want school A, sometimes a teacher's words (You know, I think Sara is such an excellent fit for your school vs. Sara? a lovely girl and a good student) can be chosen accordingly, if you communicate with her.

She can't say that about every student because it would sound cliche if principal x calls and she says the same sentence 30 times. Especially since some percent of those 30 students don't even want school x as their first choice, but they are applying there because of the Vaad-enforced minimum applications.

Chayalle

Tue, Feb 10 2015, 4:17 pm

debsey wrote:

Wow, it must've been hard to hear that someone else's child is a priority over yours. Hug

My DD's principal told me that in "Designer School X" the situation is impossible. In some situations she has pushed and pushed and gotten results...and sometimes, all the pushing has gotten nowhere. And sometimes, the student actually gets into her dream school and ends up not being happy there.

However....I stand by my PSA - it can't hurt to speak to your DD's principal/teacher. They will get called about your DD anyway, so communicating with them (and then using whatever other resources you have available) is, in most cases, in your best interest. And at least you will know where you stand with them.

debsey

Tue, Feb 10 2015, 5:50 pm

Chayalle wrote:

Wow, it must've been hard to hear that someone else's child is a priority over yours. Hug

I was very very hurt. DD is a great girl. The principal felt that I have a certain "pull" from another angle. That "pull" is more fictitious than not. In the end, DD got in to Plan B. I could not possibly be happier.
I learned a lesson - once again - There is a G-d Who runs the world. He is more powerful than any principal or any Va'ad or any "pull" - and I have to do my hishtadlus, daven, and CHILL OUT. It all works out in the end.