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Teacher gave ds soda
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cuties' mom




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 17 2015, 5:36 pm
I do not allow my kids to drink soda. Before ods started school, he was unaware of the existence of soda, candy and chips. In preschool, his teacher was very accommodating and gave ds an extra cookie at shabbos party since he wasn't getting anything else. In pre-1A, ds learned to eat chips and drink soda. I didn't make an issue over it since he only had soda at some birthday parties and only a little bit. In second grade, it became a bigger issue. His rebbi used to raffle off quarters, and the school has a soda machine, so after going seven years without ever having cavities, ds had 5 cavities at once. This year, ds is in third grade. His teachers know that he doesn't eat candy, and if they give candy to everyone else, they bring something else for him, however, the teacher rarely gives out candy and mostly gives out fake money for her store. She had her store today, and ds came home with a 2 liter bottle of soda! I reminded him that soda causes cancer and cavities. He's old enough to understand both as he had cavities last year, and I lost a close relative to cancer. Its not the first time we discussed the dangers of soda. I told him he could trade it for a different treat or that I'll buy it off him and throw it out. I offered to trade it for pizza (his favorite food). Ds said he's not trading it, and he cried when I said he can't drink it. I'm hoping that after he has time to think about it, he'll realize that its worth it to trade it, but if he doesn't, how should I deal with his nonstop crying?
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amother


 

Post Tue, Feb 17 2015, 5:48 pm
cuties' mom wrote:
I do not allow my kids to drink soda. Before ods started school, he was unaware of the existence of soda, candy and chips. In preschool, his teacher was very accommodating and gave ds an extra cookie at shabbos party since he wasn't getting anything else. In pre-1A, ds learned to eat chips and drink soda. I didn't make an issue over it since he only had soda at some birthday parties and only a little bit. In second grade, it became a bigger issue. His rebbi used to raffle off quarters, and the school has a soda machine, so after going seven years without ever having cavities, ds had 5 cavities at once. This year, ds is in third grade. His teachers know that he doesn't eat candy, and if they give candy to everyone else, they bring something else for him, however, the teacher rarely gives out candy and mostly gives out fake money for her store. She had her store today, and ds came home with a 2 liter bottle of soda! I reminded him that soda causes cancer and cavities. He's old enough to understand both as he had cavities last year, and I lost a close relative to cancer. Its not the first time we discussed the dangers of soda. I told him he could trade it for a different treat or that I'll buy it off him and throw it out. I offered to trade it for pizza (his favorite food). Ds said he's not trading it, and he cried when I said he can't drink it. I'm hoping that after he has time to think about it, he'll realize that its worth it to trade it, but if he doesn't, how should I deal with his nonstop crying?

I think you may have unrealistic expectations of a child who sees his friends eating things year after year that he only cant have because you say so. Its not like he is allergic. I am pretty crunchy/organic at home and I encourage my kids to make wise choices but I would never single them out like that!
Lighten up or homeschool. Period.
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mummiedearest




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 17 2015, 5:58 pm
whoa. a 2 liter bottle? I think that's excessive, even by teacher standards. op, if you feel the teacher is open to it, call and offer to sponsor prizes for her store for the rest of the year.
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Dandelion1




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 17 2015, 6:07 pm
I would tread very lightly with your ds.... you don't want to set up a situation where total deprivation of something SO easily accessible becomes an obsession for him. By the time he is in 4th grade, no teacher is going to monitor his candy/soda intake, whether at school parties or snacks from other kids.

I think your admirable energy and commitment in this regard is better spent in educating him to make good choices MOST of the time, and providing only healthy options in the house.
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amother


 

Post Tue, Feb 17 2015, 6:15 pm
I think that is such a wildly inappropriate reward for a teacher to give.

You tried bribing ds and it isn't working so either come up with a better bribe, put up with the crying, or make some kind of compromise (drink one small glass then throw the rest out). Personally I'd just let my kid cry and cry if they were not willing to trade the soda for some other reward. But I feel that strongly about soda being toxic and so far my kids still have never tasted.

Another option is tell him to drink it all in one sitting and hope he gets himself so sick from it he never wants to go near it again. No guarantee it will work though.
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Leahh




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 17 2015, 6:15 pm
I'm sorry to be so blunt but I think you're setting yourself up for a disaster.
Yes, a 2 liter soda is excessive. But so is absolutely no candy and no soda. It's very unfair to a young child to be given something else when everyone in the class is getting candy. The child will become resentful and a closet eater which lead to loads more issues than allowing the occasional candy and drink of soda.
Scaring a kid that soda causes cancer is not going to do. You say he can understand because you lost a relative to cancer. It's very hard for him to see that correlation. Soda is sweet, and good and everyone else drinks it and is just fine. He is too young to understand the risk factor and long term effects. And an occasional drink of soda is not as harmful as you make it sound.
I think you are depriving your child in public and that will majorly backfire on you!
Lighten up and let him be a kid!


Last edited by Leahh on Tue, Feb 17 2015, 6:16 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Learning




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 17 2015, 6:16 pm
amother wrote:
I think you may have unrealistic expectations of a child who sees his friends eating things year after year that he only cant have because you say so. Its not like he is allergic. I am pretty crunchy/organic at home and I encourage my kids to make wise choices but I would never single them out like that!
Lighten up or homeschool. Period.

I agree. I would not want to single out ds. Dh did this few times to Dd when she was in kindergarten which was her first year in school. I stopped him from doing it. She still remembers the teacher giving out candies to everybody but her. She is laughing about it now because she was so upset but it was only few times. You have to trust Hashem and do your best at home.
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amother


 

Post Tue, Feb 17 2015, 6:17 pm
I have a similar home to yours. I didn't allow junk but could not fight the tide of the rebbes rewarding with soda and candy. Most times my kids choose not to eat the candy. The sodas collect in my fridge. I allow my children access to them so it didn't become exciting forbidden fruit. My children have no cavities. I think bad brushing is responsible rather than an occasional soda.
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baltimoremom




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 17 2015, 6:33 pm
My son is only 4. I try to eat as healthy as possible. We only drink water at home but at school they give watered down juice and I allow it bc I don't want to deprive him and they get one mini cupcake for birthdays.
He did ask for m&m yogurts but I think that's crazy to have one everyday so I said no. Same with chips those don't belong in a 4 years old lunch everyday by that's not singling my child out and asking others to make accommodations as plenty of kids don't bring that stuff
If a teacher gave excessive amounts of soda I would speak with the teacher and school to stop it for everyone as I'm sure ure not the only parent who doesn't want their child to have a 2. Liter bottle of Soda or daily cans of soda. But unfortunately birthday parties and situs I thhk are out of control and just let ure child live. If your child is allowed to have trays once in a while then they will learn it's ok in moderation but never allowing it and making it a terrible thing will prob lead to him sneaking it I the future and craving it
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Ima_Shelli




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 17 2015, 6:56 pm
cuties' mom wrote:
I reminded him that soda causes cancer and cavities. He's old enough to understand both as he had cavities last year, and I lost a close relative to cancer. Its not the first time we discussed the dangers of soda.


Soda causes cancer?
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sourstix




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 17 2015, 6:59 pm
am I missin something here? really soda causes cancer?! common, I think you have bigger battles to fight. compromise if it works or not leave it alone . nothing happens from soda once in a while. if u have such a fight... forbidden waters are sweet

btw I have a freind that is also health concious, and her kids are always sneaking snack from other kids in school she is always fighting with them, one is 11 and one is 16 they are terrible eaters cause the food she cooks has to be super healthy and her kids dont like it she has so many other issues and she added this too, I just feel sorry for her she didnt use her common sense, I dont think she should have let them run free, but her kids are underweight and small and what not. dont go overboard an occasional soda isnt terrible, in general if they eat healthy then they will be fine, and if they wont be fine you will know that it was min hashamayim. dont make them be so diff then their freinds. its not worth it. try being diff then your freinds so how that feels. they are kids they really dont care about health your setting up resentment for something you dont need to. I have a rule you come home with junk, you need to eat supper first something healthy then you could have snack. make sure they brush before bed. thats hishtadlus, and educate them with the real facts not stuff you just googled thats not by mds.


Last edited by sourstix on Tue, Feb 17 2015, 7:15 pm; edited 1 time in total
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MiracleMama




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 17 2015, 7:08 pm
The caramel coloring in Coke, Pepsi, etc. has been linked to cancer. There are many other health concerns as well.
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cuties' mom




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 17 2015, 7:09 pm
He agreed to trade it for pizza.
For everyone who says I'm being extreme, I do not complain about the occasional soda at a party. This was a 2 liter bottle I was complaining about.
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sourstix




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 17 2015, 7:16 pm
so make a deal, he can have a cup after supper and tomorrow, the rest for shabbis.
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southernbubby




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 17 2015, 7:38 pm
For the same price as a 2 liter soda the teacher could get a dollar store prize to give out. Would the rebbe be willing to give out non-food prizes? Food as a prize is problematic.
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Blessing1




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 17 2015, 7:45 pm
I can't believe ur telling a little boy that soda causes cancer! He sees everyone around him drinking soda & they're all healthy & fine.
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amother


 

Post Tue, Feb 17 2015, 8:03 pm
I agree that this was an inappropriate prize, and you should discuss that with the teacher. I agree that soda is bad and I too never buy soda and try to limit my kids' exposure to it, to whatever extent is possible. But you really need to tone down the rhetoric. Your son is going to have plenty of opportunities to imbibe on his own, because he's getting to an age where adult supervision is more hands-off.

Scare tactics aren't going to convince him to make the right choices. Also, the cancer thing is downright offensive. Your son is going to encounter people who have loved ones suffering from cancer and as you mentioned, it has happened in your own family. Kids are not known for tact. Do you want to get that phone call from another parent or the teacher that your kid made another child cry because he told his friend whose bubbie has cancer that bubbie should have drank less soda? I know MANY people who have done everything right who got cancer and people who have done everything wrong who have not. There's no such thing as something that causes cancer. There are things that increase the risk or decrease the risk, but no guarantees in either direction.
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MagentaYenta




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 17 2015, 8:06 pm
My kids never got soda at home, we are all water drinkers to this day. Did they ever desire it? Yea at about 7 or so we permitted each of them to have some. None enjoyed it and it had none of the 'forbidden fruit' aspects to it. We never made a big deal about it. It wasn't something we ever kept in our home. They all went to public school where candy and pop weren't used as motivators or prizes.
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Leahh




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 17 2015, 8:07 pm
cuties' mom wrote:
He agreed to trade it for pizza.
For everyone who says I'm being extreme, I do not complain about the occasional soda at a party. This was a 2 liter bottle I was complaining about.

it's great that you came to an agreement this time but I still think there is a bigger issue here that you need to deal with.
you are depriving your son in front of his friends and singling him. This will backfire on you!
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marina




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 17 2015, 8:34 pm
My sister has a neighbor like this. No candy ever. No chips ever. No soda. No junk food. Ever. When that child sleeps over my sister's house to play with her daughter, she gets up in the middle of the night to steal and hoard candy from my sister's cupboards. It's so sad.

And telling your kid that soda causes cancer? Ugh. I have no words.
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