Help!! so hard to decide!

amother

Wed, Feb 18 2015, 1:20 pm

I was offered a new position in a different company and he is offering to pay for part of daycare and he's offering to pay over yom tovim... plus commission. After him chasing me for an answer I took the position. In the meantime I'm working for a company where he doesn't pay over any vacations or holidays and he wasn't offering to help me out with daycare for next year or a raise. I hopped on to the next offer and I am just so nervous to switch I am feeling like nervous that it's not going to work out in the new place. I was looking for something else just cuz I needed some change and I feel like I will be happy there eventually but I'm just so nervous please please help me out if anybody ever has gone through this. I was very happy here where I currently work and this offer just fell into my hamds with more money, commission, and partial payments for daycare. I feel like I have done the right thing. I' m just having second thoughts.

amother

Wed, Feb 18 2015, 1:54 pm

tichellady wrote:

Are there any reasons why you are nervous about this other than that it's a change and there's always a risk when making a change? It sounds like you have a lot to gain here and you are just nervous. Don't let fear rule you! That's my motto for myself as well

The only thing that scares me is the idea of change in general. I am happy in my old company. I wasn't looking for a new job. This just fell on my lap and I'm moving forward.

amother

Wed, Feb 18 2015, 2:14 pm

Op here. I already gave him a notice and I told it to him at a very hard time (sister married one week and separated before Sheva Brachos was over... father figure in family... father dies 2 years ago) so he gave me major attitude but I stayed calm and normal so I think I will leave on good terms.

Dolly Welsh

Wed, Feb 18 2015, 2:18 pm

Google the new guy, his company, that industry. Is it in a nice area? Think about how long his business has been there. Look at his online social media presence. Concentrate on how clean, stable and established it all feels.

See if you can obtain any financial data. How is he doing? Is he holding his own?

Ask yourself whom you are replacing, and above all, why. Ask yourself if this is a new position. Do the other people there look well dressed, happy, and would you be comfortable being around them and lumped with them?

Ask yourself what you think of him as a person and human being.

This is all routine when you take a job, but especially when you are leaving something ok. You don't want to wish you hadn't.

Be very nice to the people you are leaving. Tidy up and train your replacement. Write down how you did things. Give them your cell phone number, and say they can always call you to ask where something is, or how you did something, or anything at all.

Don't be perceived as trying to take any of the other people with you; don't have one-on-one conversations that others can't overhear. You wouldn't do that, but bosses worry about that.

Don't get specific when asked questions. Deflect questions. Don't tell anybody where you are going if that is still possible and appropriate. Your boss probably was asked for a reference. If he wants to know, tell him. But not necessarily anybody else, if that can be managed tactfully.

Remember, your desk and email aren't your property, and that will all be looked over, now that you are leaving. Don't put personal stuff there.

Fox

Wed, Feb 18 2015, 2:39 pm

Amother, this is what happens when you build a career. Gosh, darn it, you do such a good job that suddenly there is competition for your services.

But as you're discovering, "good" change can be as stressful as "bad" change -- with even fewer sympathetic ears.

Relax as best you can! You've earned a victory lap!

amother

Wed, Feb 18 2015, 3:43 pm

I'm feeling really nervous! I'm moving over to a smaller company with much more "attention" he literally bought me out of my company now. I just hope I made the right decision but I guess I will only find out as soon as I start. Mad

thank you so much for your help with the brainstorming!!

Anonymous because people know my boss story and my dilemma