Selective Hearing | Imamother

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children

Selective Hearing

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amother

Thu, Feb 19 2015, 3:22 pm

My 8 year old son has selective hearing. Whenever I ask him to do anything it's as though he doesn't hear me. He assures me that he can hear very well and it does seem so when he wants to.

This is so frustrating! I feel invisible! I've tried consequences but he always complains that he never heard me warn him. Never heard me telling him to come to the table. Never heard me asking him to take off coat. Never heard me telling him it was time to get ready for bed. Never told him had to brush his teeth.

Any suggestions from those who've BTDT?

singleagain

Thu, Feb 19 2015, 4:12 pm

if his hearing is alright, [you might want to double check with doc, or just check with teachers etc] then it might be a selective memory thing. I know when I was a kid, and year, even sometimes, still now I would "hear" what was being said to me, but I wouldn't internalize it, or remember it....even five minutes later.... also, I know I have issues with time comprehension... it could be any of these issues that your son is dealing with.

I might suggest, having him acknowledge your request when you first make it, and have a convo, back and forth that he understands the time involved.... for some times, like the teeth brushing and bed time, maybe try to get him on a schedule, and let him have input on putting the timetable together

cbsp

Sun, Feb 22 2015, 1:28 am

Is it a recent thing? Maybe it's wax buildup.

I try to always preface my conversations with my kids by calling their name and asking them to say "what" (DS, say "what"). Once I've gotten the response I then give the instruction and ask them to acknowledge/repeat it back. But my kids are younger than your kid. He may find this very tedious and suddenly start hearing/listening/responding again.

Hatzlachah!

amother

Sun, Feb 22 2015, 12:37 pm

If compliance is very important to you, make sure you face him when you say it.
Ask him to repeat to you what he heard.
If he can truly hear, he may become annoyed you are doing this and will start to comply without having to resort to this system.
In my class, there was a child who didn't comply because he has always been told things multiple times so he expected several repetitions. Once I was able to confirm that he had heard me, even the first time, I stopped repeating myself. I used the technique I mentioned, as well as a few other tricks, and now he responds the first time I speak.

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