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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Simcha Section
who buys dining room and bedroom furniture?
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| boy's parents |
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1% |
[ 2 ] |
| girl's parents |
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6% |
[ 9 ] |
| both parents pay half |
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23% |
[ 34 ] |
| the newlywed couple |
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68% |
[ 97 ] |
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| Total Votes : 142 |
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amother
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 Sat, Feb 21 2015, 10:04 pm
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who buys the newlywed couples table chairs dresser and bed?
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shabbatiscoming
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Sat, Feb 21 2015, 10:08 pm
are you asking of a specific sect or just in general?
Last edited by shabbatiscoming on Sat, Feb 21 2015, 11:57 pm; edited 1 time in total
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KollelWife3
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Sat, Feb 21 2015, 10:12 pm
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In the chassidish circles it's half the boy's parents and half the girl's.
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SRS
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Sat, Feb 21 2015, 10:36 pm
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I'm not sure if you are asking as parents or as a newlywed couple. But if no one has purchased this for you, time to find something yourself!
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agreer
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Sat, Feb 21 2015, 11:33 pm
Whoever can afford it... if it's one side, then yes, they should pay.
If it's neither, then the young couple.
If both parents can, then they either split it or, overall, split stuff (ex: if boy's side pays for DR set, girl's pays for bedroom; or if boy's pays for both, girl's side pays for an equivalent amount of rent/appliances etc)
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DrMom
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Sat, Feb 21 2015, 11:36 pm
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Unless this is something very well-defined in your community, I'd say it depends on what each couple and their families can afford and want to give.
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Frumdoc
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Sun, Feb 22 2015, 2:35 am
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We got hand me downs and free giveaways until we could afford our own, cheap sets. Our dining chairs don't match, but they all have history!
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notshanarishona
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Sun, Feb 22 2015, 2:50 am
My parents paid for the wedding.
We used savings and wedding presents for everything else from furniture to kitchen supplies, etc.
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Sanguine
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Sun, Feb 22 2015, 2:51 am
| shabbatiscoming wrote: | | are you asking of a specific sect or just in general? | Obviously not asking us MO people. We get married when we can support ourselves. We buy furniture (and homes) when we can afford to. If parents want to help out and give gifts it is always very welcome and appreciated but nothing is expected required.
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abound
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Sun, Feb 22 2015, 2:59 am
| KollelWife3 wrote: | | In the chassidish circles it's half the boy's parents and half the girl's. |
Not all chassidim.............
Many don't get anything at all!
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Ms.MaryMack(inblack)
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Sun, Feb 22 2015, 3:04 am
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cinnamon
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Sun, Feb 22 2015, 3:28 am
| Sanguine wrote: | Obviously not asking us MO people. We get married when we can support ourselves. We buy furniture (and homes) when we can afford to. If parents want to help out and give gifts it is always very welcome and appreciated but nothing is expected required. |
Condescending much? I came THIS close to "hugging" your post.
Just because different communities have different values and act differently than you doesn't mean they are less than you.
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Sanguine
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Sun, Feb 22 2015, 3:35 am
| cinnamon wrote: | Condescending much? I came THIS close to "hugging" your post.
Just because different communities have different values and act differently than you doesn't mean they are less than you. | I was responding to Shabbat who I know is also MO. MO doesn't have "Who buys?". CTTOI, that would have been nice. 
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Raisin
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Sun, Feb 22 2015, 3:51 am
| Sanguine wrote: | Obviously not asking us MO people. We get married when we can support ourselves. We buy furniture (and homes) when we can afford to. If parents want to help out and give gifts it is always very welcome and appreciated but nothing is expected required. |
I'm not M.O but I got no financial support from either set of parents when we got married. I worked and supported ourselves, we got household items as wedding gifts. We did buy beds and it is possible my husbands parents paid for them (I can't remember) but it wasn't a bedroom "set", just mattresses and bases.
I do know M.O/DL people who support their married still studying in university children.
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Ruchel
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Sun, Feb 22 2015, 3:59 am
There are supported MOs and unsupported charedim.
That said why does everything need a concept and a guideline!
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amother
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Sun, Feb 22 2015, 3:59 am
| Sanguine wrote: | Obviously not asking us MO people. We get married when we can support ourselves. We buy furniture (and homes) when we can afford to. If parents want to help out and give gifts it is always very welcome and appreciated but nothing is expected required. |
Many of the mo ppl I know are supporting their kids or are supported by their parents ( or a trust but the parent's money set up the trust)
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Sanguine
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Sun, Feb 22 2015, 4:04 am
OP asked "who buys the newlywed couples table chairs dresser and bed?" Sounds to me like she's asking what are the rules not "Help! we can't afford furniture".
Shabbat asked "are you asking of a specific sect or just in general?". I have no idea if Gur or Bobov or Satmar or Lubavitch or... have different rules. I just answered about my "sect". MO has no rules. We have no rules for supporting or homes or furniture... If parents want to/can help, it's always very welcome.
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watergirl
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Sun, Feb 22 2015, 4:43 am
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I dont know if I would agree that this is "sect" specific. When I got married (more than 10 years ago, just for comparisons sake - not waaay back when), we all got front yard specials. Meaning, someone heard that someones grandmother just died and had a table but no chairs. Score! Then someone else heard about 2 chairs here and 3 chairs there.... Aside from mattresses ( I dont know about other people, but we paid for our own), everything from book cases to couches to dining room was mix match. As the couple can afford it, new was bought. It was a stamp of pride almost. And this was every couple I knew - from Mo to yeshivish to chassidish. When ever I see the heimish furnature store advertising kallah specials for "only" 5k, it makes me ill. Thats a lot of money on top of everything else!
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Iymnok
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Sun, Feb 22 2015, 4:46 am
Talk to your DH and figure out a budget. Then talk to the mechutanim. Then scour Craig's list and eBay. Or you could conveniently upgrade your own and give the couple your old set.
(I'm assuming you are the parent, not the kid)
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cfriedman2
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Sun, Feb 22 2015, 5:41 am
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We used the money my grandprents gave us for a wedding gift to furnish our apt and buy beds.
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