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Help me figure this out please



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sourstix




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 23 2015, 9:00 am
ds is 6. he has lately not been eating breakfast properly. he will take 2 bites of cereal, or opt not to eat, just a cup of milk. two small bites of ww bread. icant imagine what this change is all about. I said to him if he doesnt eat proper breakfast he only gets pretzels for snack. I am afraid it was a stupid idea. cuz other kids will probably share with him. or better yet he might end up stealing. I just realized this. I just dont know what to do. please help with ideas. or why hes doing this. he told dh his stomach is bothering him I heard this morning. but this is going on for like a couple of months at first dh took care of him being ready in the morning, as I was busy with my baby, and dh just let him get away with it, like ok he doesnt eat I cant force him. that is right. but what should I donow. I feel so lost. I took away a toy and when I took it he gave in and ate a cucumber asking me if its enough. I just dont get this. I feel lost.
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skirtznsox




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 23 2015, 9:12 am
Have you taken ds to the doctor to make sure there's actually nothing wrong with his stomach? He could have a digestive issue that makes eating earlier in the day painful or uncomfortable. Try switching to other foods, top, like fruits (bananas, grapes, oranges), and yogurts. Maybe he's just sick of the breakfasts?

Also, maybe he has a dental issue and/or just doesn't want to chew, since you're saying he'll drink milk. Yogurt can help with that, but also homemade or storebought smoothies. Fruit, yogurt, granola, blender.
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sourstix




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 23 2015, 9:24 am
he does take laxatives can that be it?
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seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 23 2015, 9:28 am
Saying if he doesn't eat a healthy breakfast then he can only get a healthy snack is a logical response that teaches the kid that you need healthy fuel in your body.
Taking away a toy is a power play and at best will not accomplish anything good in the long run. At worst you lock yourself into ongoing power struggles and food/eating issues.

Agree with PP that you should rule out medical/dental causes but I'd probably only go there if this lasts more than a week or so (without turning it into a power struggle, because that pretty much guarantees it won't just go away)
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sourstix




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 23 2015, 9:31 am
hes been this way before the laxatives, and I offered diff foods he just takes a bite and thats it. today I made a big deal so he ate a whole cucumber. what would I do if it hurts to eat in the morning. the rebbe wont allow to eat in class. and I am moving so I cant start all of this right before I move. and he needs to give him laxatives everyday already. I guess the rebbe thing is a separate isssue. first he probably needs a doctor cause theres no shortage of types of food I will go for. its clearly not the type of food theres more going on. I feel sorry for him why doesnt he tell me mom my stomach hurts. hes having some issues with other kids in school . ihope its not causing cramps and nervousness. he is a sensitive child, but he does forgive quickly too. I think I need to call his rebbe at end of week and get another report of his interactions between him and kids. in meantime I do ask him how its going with the kids. hes not clear about it I think I need to give more patience to that. cause he starts with a long story and I get lost and dont get the right facts. it takes alot of steering in that direction. to get the right info. but he still needs to eat before leaving the house. anyone with this type of issue?
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sourstix




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 23 2015, 9:33 am
[quote="seeker"]Saying if he doesn't eat a healthy breakfast then he can only get a healthy snack is a logical response that teaches the kid that you need healthy fuel in your body.
Taking away a toy is a power play and at best will not accomplish anything good in the long run. At worst you lock yourself into ongoing power struggles and food/eating issues.

Agree with PP that you should rule out medical/dental causes but I'd probably only go there if this lasts more than a week or so (without turning it into a power struggle, because that pretty much guarantees it won't just go away)[/quote]

thank you seeker. I am glad you pointed it out, I think iwas irrational this morning. I get that way when I loose all ideas and get panicked. I think I need to see what other medical issues he has. maybe thats it. who knows. in meantime I need to stay calm and not get into struggle with taking away stuff yeh that doesnt help it.
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seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 23 2015, 9:40 am
Can you just let it go for a week? Some kids are just not big breakfast eaters. Their bodies take some time to get started in the morning. I don't even remember whether I ever ate breakfast as a kid because I was always waking up late, taking too long to get dressed, and running to school so I don't remember if and when breakfast made it in there. See if he's doing OK anyway. Maybe ask the teacher if he can keep an eye out for him and see if he's having issues in the morning or doing OK regardless. How soon is his recess/lunch? If you're really really worried about his nutrition, can he take a healthy muffin or something to eat on th eway to school?
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pause




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 23 2015, 9:56 am
I don't mean to scare you but you do need to know what to look out for. A kid complaining of stomach aches before going to school is very often because of something happening in school that is causing the kid to not want to go and cause his stomach to hurt. It is not a conscious deception ("Let me say my stomach hurts so that I won't have to go.") It is a real physical pain coming from emotional pain. It is also considered a red flag for abuse. You mentioned bullying.

Please don't give yourself excuses about your baby and moving, etc. You need to investigate and deal with the underlying issue. PLEASE find out what is happening with your ds.

Even if a physical problem is causing the stomach pain, it is not fair to allow your child to go to school in pain. You are his mother and you need to be his advocate, take care of him, not punish him.


Last edited by pause on Mon, Feb 23 2015, 9:57 am; edited 1 time in total
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skirtznsox




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 23 2015, 9:56 am
Does he drink enough water? Dehydration often impedes digestion. Can you maybe start breakfast off with water, grape juice (mild laxative effects), prune juice, or milk
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sourstix




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 23 2015, 10:05 am
pause I do agree I overreacted this morning.
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IMHopinion




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 23 2015, 10:57 am
You can't force him to eat breakfast. Make him eat one small thing. Give him enough time to be up before going to school so his morning stomach issues have time to settle.
Not wake up, dress, eat, go!
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seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 23 2015, 11:17 am
Even if he does technically need breakfast in general, a week or so without breakfast is not going to harm his development. If he ends up finding it hard to go through the morning hungry, then (either on his own or with minimal guidance) he will learn what he needs to do to avoid that. Provided there are no medical/dental/timing obstructions.
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momX4




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 23 2015, 11:25 am
Sometimes my kids cant eat breakfast. I send a yogurt or oatmeal bar for snack so they eat something healthy first. Not allowing dc to take snack to school will just cause him to starve all day. How can he learn then?
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