Life in the Palace: YA fantasy series where Jews are heroes

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silbergirl

Mon, Feb 23 2015, 6:20 pm

Its so funny.... its pretty clearly Jewish but masked with fantasy stuff (and some half baked Kabbalah-lingo). AN excerpt of the storyline:

"Tal and Seth, they belong to a religion called the People, and they serve He Who Knows. They exist in both the physical world and the Palace. Your Palace-self is your real self. As part of the People, they dedicate their lives for the Service. They battle the evils the threaten the balance of the universe. If they don’t fight, the world ends, basically. As Chloe got to know Tal and her friends, she found herself fascinated by the People, and she wants to be one of them. But becoming the People means you have to finish a Quest. It can take a few months up to years to finish one in order for your soul to enter through the front door of the Palace."

Another: "They call non-People “Other”, and there was a part in the story where they discriminated against non-People. Chloe is an Other. And apparently, Seth is a non-practicing People. Bottom line, an Other cannot be with the People. Will Chloe make the ultimate sacrifice and break up with Seth? Or will she stick by him, be happy, and love each other. Forever?"

I am cracking up, its so funny to read that... how they mask Jewish facts with spiritual wo hoo and the audience buys it without realizing its Jewish. It may certainly not be a bad book to read for a Jewish teen who is into that fantasy stuff...and is about to go OTD. It may strengthen the identity.

Rubber Ducky

Mon, Feb 23 2015, 6:33 pm

OK, I gotta read it. I'll let y'all know, but I'm not a fast reader and I'll be reading it on a computer screen.

bluebird

Mon, Feb 23 2015, 8:36 pm

sequoia wrote:

You reported Yael's own ad to her?

5mom

Tue, Feb 24 2015, 12:07 am

The profanity isn't as bad as the preachy tone. For a frum book, the writing is pretty good, but if you respect your readership, you don't have to hit them over the head with your message.

oliveoil

Tue, Feb 24 2015, 12:46 am

Ouch. Reads like it was written by a very amateur writer and not given a good edit by anyone.

marina

Tue, Feb 24 2015, 1:55 am

wait, so the Jews are called People and the nonJews are called Other?

mebs

Tue, Feb 24 2015, 4:16 am

Yeah, that's the idea.

I think the idea is to look at Yiddishkeit a different way - that when we do mitzvahs it helps us spiritually (here, gives us weapons in the "palace") and we do aveiras it hurts us spiritually (lowering our standing in the "palace"). As much as I know that intellectually, the book gave me a visualization that I didn't have before.

I really didn't find the language disturbing. There are no actual swear words in it, just some references. This book is *not* a frum-published by feldheim-censored book. Not all the characters in it are religious and they speak/act like secular young adults. If that is not what you want, then skip the book. But for those people who read secular books, this is a great option.

gp2.0

Tue, Feb 24 2015, 9:31 am

I'm so curious if this was written by an imamother member.

Notsobusy

Tue, Feb 24 2015, 9:47 am

mebs wrote:

If that is not what you want, then skip the book. But for those people who read secular books, this is a great option.

I disagree with this. My dd reads YA books, because she loves to read, but unfortunately there are not enough or good enough Jewish books. When she is reading a secular book, she knows that while the characters may use certain words, or do certain things, or have boyfriends/girlfriends, it's a secular book and it's not the way we live our lives. If I give her a "Jewish" book to read, but it has the same questionable words or situations, then it becomes harder to draw the line.

I don't even like the idea of a Jewish fantasy book. Because in secular fantasy, it's all fantasy. Once you take Jewish concepts and incorporate it into a fantasy book, how is a teen supposed to know what's true and what's fantasy?

5mom

Tue, Feb 24 2015, 9:57 am

glutenless wrote:

Teenagers can distinguish between fact and fantasy.

Hashem_Yaazor

Tue, Feb 24 2015, 9:59 am

It's not supposed to be Jewish, I don't think. It's supposed to be secular, but making some Jewish concepts palatable and explaining the beauty of religion to those who read the book. I think.

mommyla

Tue, Feb 24 2015, 10:03 am

gp2.0 wrote:

I'm so curious if this was written by an imamother member.

Likely. I posted a comment criticizing the writing and it simply disappeared. If someone can't take criticism from an anonymous online poster, s/he shouldn't be publishing a book.

gp2.0

Tue, Feb 24 2015, 11:09 am

mommyla wrote:

Likely. I posted a comment criticizing the writing and it simply disappeared. If someone can't take criticism from an anonymous online poster, s/he shouldn't be publishing a book.

Ahh. Yeah, that was actually why I wondered. (And why I was careful to word my reply a little more cautiously than I would have otherwise.)

You know what, it's really hard to read criticism, especially online. A lot of people just don't read online criticism because it tends to be more vicious than, say, a printed review with a name attached to it.

It's really hard to write a book, honestly. I have a lot of respect for someone who can stick to such a long project and finish it. It takes a lot of patience and hard work.

However, it's OK if a first (or even third) draft isn't perfect. That's what great editors are for.

mommyla

Tue, Feb 24 2015, 11:15 am

You're right, and I probably should have written what I wrote a little more gently, but I still believe that someone who's putting their work out publicly needs to be able to deal with criticism. I'm not an author but my work is very similar and very public (and sometimes very criticized), and I had to develop a thicker skin to put up with it. I would love to write a book one day, and I am very well aware of the fact that criticism can be harsh.

The point is, this book - is it published already? - needs some serious editing. Like you said, that's what great editors are for, but this one doesn't seem to be edited well. It may fly in the frum world of poorly written literature, but it won't go over well in the secular world without being fixed up properly.

gp2.0

Tue, Feb 24 2015, 11:22 am

mommyla wrote:

It seems to me that this book was published as an Amazon e-book, so if the author wanted an editor, she would need to find one and pay for it out of her own pocket, unlike how it works in traditional publishing, where the cost of an editor is paid for by the publishing house. (Though it may later be taken out of royalties, not sure how it works.)

My point is, I believe it's possible to publish your first draft on Amazon without editing at all.

sunbeam

Tue, Feb 24 2015, 11:25 am

This is a great series. It's not supposed to be "a Jewish book" and it's not for kids. Yes, there are Jewish ideas/concepts hidden in the series, but it's predominantly for teenagers who could use some exposure to concepts of faith and G-D and a Higher Power.

The dialogue is great - funny, on-point and really draws you in.

I was surprised to find that I really enjoyed the ideas of the Palace and it DID help me visualize Yiddishkeit differently. I love thinking how I'm earning firepower when doing Mitzvos and how what we do in the physical world really does effect our spiritual standing.

If you're already reading secular books, give this a try - you won't regret it!

mille

Tue, Feb 24 2015, 11:42 am

gp2.0 wrote:

It is possible. It's a self-published book. It definitely needs a heavy hand with editing, which is not a criticism. Most writers should definitely not publish their first draft!

Since this is fantasy, I feel this example is relevant. Recently, a first manuscript letter outlining the draft of the A Song of Ice and Fire series, by George R R Martin (The book series for the show "Game of Thrones") was published online. It detailed the outline of the story that Martin intended on telling in the first book. If you compare it to the book he actually ended up publishing, it is WILDLY different... In a good way! The story that got published is a lot more nuanced, more detailed, the world is fully fleshed out, the characters are interesting and complex and realistic. The story that he originally set out to tell was very shallow, had very few characters, too many weird love triangles, and not much substance. Yet he is considered to be one of the greatest contemporary fantasy writers. His books are wildly praised in the fantasy genre, and the show based on the books is a huge success, some episodes topping the success of The Sopranos in terms of viewers.

The point is, even the greatest writers benefit from editing. Everyone does. You definitely need to get the story written out into words, which provide a framework to edit. And it's important to have a competent third party do the editing, because a writer might only see what they want to see in regards to their work. It's very personal. But to be published, this is a very vital step in the process.

I sincerely hope this post isn't deleted. I am not intending on insulting the author, quite the contrary! I think that this story has potential, but it needs a little help. I would much rather provide constructive criticism which will ultimately lead to a significant increase in a frum woman's parnassa as a result of being able to actually market her book, rather than blindly praising and the book is a flop. Young adult fantasy novels are really big right now, there's definitely a market for it, you just need to put for the best product possible!

After all, we ARE the target audience here, aren't we? Frum women who enjoy YA novels, or frum women with children of an age to read YA novels, who would appreciate Torah-centric messages and values in a fantasy book. Listen to your customers!

Hashem_Yaazor

Tue, Feb 24 2015, 11:45 am

The author put on her blog that she is a speed reader and a big drawback is her not catching her mistakes. I think if you sent her feedback to edit, she probably would be receptive.

sunbeam

Tue, Feb 24 2015, 11:51 am

mille wrote:

After all, we ARE the target audience here, aren't we? Frum women who enjoy YA novels, or frum women with children of an age to read YA novels, who would appreciate Torah-centric messages and values in a fantasy book. Listen to your customers!

Us frum women are really NOT the target market.

It was written for secular teenagers - we're just able to enjoy it as a side benefit!

gp2.0

Tue, Feb 24 2015, 11:52 am

Hashem_Yaazor wrote:

The author put on her blog that she is a speed reader and a big drawback is her not catching her mistakes. I think if you sent her feedback to edit, she probably would be receptive.

Was there a link to her blog here?

It's not really about feedback, it's about working with an editor, back and forth, to straighten out both large and small issues.

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