Book/tips 4 AD(H)D-writing down HW, keeping knapsack clean

amother

Mon, Feb 23 2015, 8:30 pm

Any books or tips for the ADD child?
My 3rd grader does not manage to come home with the homework written down, or does not know what she wrote down, or what is the actual homework. It's torture for me each night.
And her folders and knapsack are a dissaster. Papers sticking out from every angle, nothing filed in the proper folder (nothing in a folder actually), crushed potato chips at the bottom, pencils sticking out all over, you get the picture.
No matter how much I guide her, help her hands on, make her do it herself, it's a battle every day.
Are there any books out there or is there anyone who can share tips that work?

shoshb

Mon, Feb 23 2015, 9:47 pm

At that age, part of our weekly routine was to go through the bag every Sunday morning. At first, DD sat alongside me whilst I threw stuff out, put stuff away, or put them back in the bag. Over time, she did more herself. Now, in high school, it's still part of her routine to go through her bag every Sunday.

As for homework, your DD is nowhere near ready to be responsible for tracking it herself. The teacher has to either write it down for her, or email the assignments to you. And perhaps they can assign a buddy or an older child to make sure she's bringing the right books home each night.

Come back here for tips if the school gives you a hard time with those suggestions.

amother

Mon, Feb 23 2015, 9:55 pm

Thank you both.
The teacher writes the HW down on the board and dd is expected to copy it into her notepad. Sometimes she does. Sometimes she does not. Sometimes she writes it down but doesn't know what she actually has to do for homework (I definately do not).
Based on the above, what do you suggest I request of the teachers?
Thank you!

granolamom

Mon, Feb 23 2015, 10:16 pm

amother wrote:

I would call the teacher and explain the trouble that your child is having (consistently writing down the hw correctly and completely). I would tell her that you are working on helping her develop responsibility etc but for right now you are concerned that she is not able to do the hw because she clearly hasnt yet mastered this skill.
I would also mention that your dd is still unclear as to what the assignment is even when she does manage to write it down.
then I'd ask the teacher to please email the hw to you.
we've had some teachers get defensive and go on about how the child must do things for herself and not be babied in third gr, etc, but most of my kids teachers give a hw sheet out weekly with all assignments clearly written out (the assignments at that age tend to be clear and consistent, ie math wkbk pg, spelling sheet, chumash translation practice, etc).
the point is that we all want the child to succeed. your child is not ready for this responsibility even if the teacher feels that she 'should be', and there is no reason to sacrifice her ability to do the hw to make a point. I hope the teacher cooperates with you. this is a pretty simple problem with a very straightforward solution.

amother

Mon, Feb 23 2015, 10:28 pm

granolamom wrote:

I will definately call her and try my best. The Hebrew teacher is really hard and not understanding at all Sad

We're having a very hard time with that this year. And the Hebrew principal (new for this grade) is avoiding me too Sad

Last year we had devoted amazing teachers and principals.

imasinger

Tue, Feb 24 2015, 12:26 am

Tell them the diagnosis. Give anyone who doesn't get it some literature. Is there a special ed coordnator at the school? Get that person involved. Don't assume the new principal is avoiding you. Be a squeaky wheel.

You might want to ask your DD's psychologist to meet with the school.

The teachers should be either writing down the hw, or checking DD's assignment book to be sure she has done so.

You can work with teachers to help get DD to put papers in different colored folders or binders for different subjects. And be sure they help her clean out her desk at school regularly. It probably looks like the backpack on steroids.

You can build good habits by offering tokens towards desired rewards for a better organized backpack and assignment book,but be sure to tackle the job in baby steps.

amother

Tue, Feb 24 2015, 2:28 am

We're in the same boat here. We make sure that nearly every afternoon she organizes her back pack, but even that doesn't always help. One time the teacher said, get out your book, which was in the backpack, but DD couldn't find it.

Last year she lost her pencil case 3 times until we tied it with a string onto her backpack. Recently there was a sale on coats for $5, so now she has 3 coats, because by her, they're disposable. None of what she loses shows up in lost and found, either. Strange.

Anyway, I can relate and I'm really worried about my DD too. As for homework, I give up. I don't worry about it. If she doesn't do it, oh well. I'm not going to cause stress in the home over homework.