A text from my 2 year olds Morah

amother

Wed, Mar 04 2015, 9:49 am

I got the message below this morning at around 11 while at work. It literally made me cry (doesnt help that I am pregnant) in front of my office.
My 2 year old does not exhibit any of these behaviors at home or even when playing with other kids (his cousins etc).
I am going to take him to someone just to be sure but why did his Morah think its okay to send me such a message via text?!?!

"Hi XXXXXXX sensory issue is really out of hand he just walks over to ppl licking their hands... Always licking his hands toys my couch.... If there's something u can do please take care of it he can't stay in my group like this sorry being so straight forward with u but I'm very strict with him and agsin kids scared of him takes away from the group atmosphere almost bit someone today and I'm not a policeman and that's what I feel I am

He's dangerous to be around"

Really just venting... Sad

black sheep

Wed, Mar 04 2015, 9:57 am

Wow! No joke, some people shouldn't be teachers.

If he is indeed liking things and people, morah should let you know, but not in a text. But that is just bad tact, what really worries me is that she said 1. She is being very stick with him, 2. He is dangerous to be around. Licking isn't dangerous, I am concerned by her definition of dangerous, and also, what does she mean by "being very strict with him?"

Scrabble123

Wed, Mar 04 2015, 9:58 am

Is this the first time that she's mentioned this issue? It's really not an appropriate way of discussing a problem: not the verbiage, not in the form of a text, etc. etc. If you have no other options, please discuss the issue in person as well as the inappropriateness of her choice of words and delivery as a text.

Last edited by Scrabble123 on Thu, Mar 05 2015, 10:52 am; edited 1 time in total

mommy08

Wed, Mar 04 2015, 10:05 am

thats very wrong. There's a way of saying something and how! Text message is not the answer! Even if this is just a small unofficial playgroup/day care there needs to be some kind of professionalism and that is so not it! if something similar happens again I'd take your child out. and as someone else said...hes only 2!!

Fox

Wed, Mar 04 2015, 10:09 am

Run, do not walk, to the nearest exit!

Let's say, for the sake of the argument, that the facts are exactly as Morah says. In other words, your child often licks his own hands, others' hands, inanimate objects, and "almost" bit someone.

That sounds to me like virtually every two-year-old on the planet! Two-year-olds are interested in the world around them, including how it tastes. Sometimes they bite out of aggression, and sometimes they bite out of sheer curiosity.

Usually, the kids lose their interest in licking when they discover that a lot of things don't taste very good. And most learn that biting is not socially acceptable no matter what the reason.

But unless these behaviors persist over a long period of time or become obsessive, they are part of the normal aggravation of having a two-year-old underfoot!

Sounds to me like Morah belongs to the group of educators who are willing to teach -- if, and only if, you present them with children who are already mature, pleasant, behave in socially acceptable manners, and are never annoying.

Well, good for her! Ich ken oich azoy!

amother

Wed, Mar 04 2015, 10:42 am

OP here

First of all thank u all so much.
I was wondering if I was crazy by getting so upset (hormones maybe) but you have justified that this is just wrong.
Yes, he's not an angel of a boy, he's a 2 year old that has alot of energy and will be more rambunctious when tired or hungry but that's a normal 2 year old!
Yes, sometimes he will push or get rough with other kids but again, he's 2! and sometimes that what 2 year olds do!

She told my husband when he went to pick him up that "He's dangerous to her"
Seriously?? You're an adult, why are u scared of a 2 year old?!?!

STMommy

Wed, Mar 04 2015, 10:45 am

Please please please for the sake of your son get him away from this Morah. She is looking at him as dangerous, you can bet it will come out, even without her wanting it to, in her treatment of him.

greenfire

Wed, Mar 04 2015, 10:49 am

licking doesn't sound dangerous at all ... annoying maybe

perhaps a proper phone call to discuss it would have been better than a text message

& if she can't handle 2 year old kids, then she shouldn't be a teacher

nyer1

Wed, Mar 04 2015, 10:51 am

hate to say it but this is why I would never send to a 'playgroup' in someone house.
what are her credentials? clearly not educated or professional to be an early childhood educator. she's a glorified babysitter and she can't handle the amount of kids in the group and she doesn't know how to correct an undesirable behavior in a child and she also doesn't know how to speak to parents in the right way.

believe you me, I pay high tuition for my 2 year old son's gan, but this would NEVER happen in his school.

just some food for thought.

sorry you're experiencing this, but I would pull him out. what a joke.

Miri7

Wed, Mar 04 2015, 11:04 am

Op, you are not crazy. it's not your hormones.

Time for a new childcare arrangement for your DS. This "Morah" isn't equipped to do the job she's taken on. She doesn't have appropriate expectations for kids, effective strategies for handling developmentally appropriate behavior, and seems to be clueless about how to communicate with parents.

Good luck finding another childcare situation!

musicmom

Wed, Mar 04 2015, 11:19 am

Hi.

I am a teacher in a public school. It seems very unprofessional for a teacher to text a parent with troubling information and bad grammar. She should have called you to set up an appointment to speak in person.

My children go to preschool and there is a behavioral specialist who will observe your child and meet with you about any questions or concerns. I have her email contact information.

What is going on at this school is unacceptable and sounds unprofessional.

As for your child, I had a student in Kindergarten who seemed to lick everything and he is a fine third grader now. First, find out what the problem is and then address it.

Do not accept the way the school is treating you. Getting a text like that is not okay.

mirror

Wed, Mar 04 2015, 11:25 am

musicmom wrote:

There is a huge difference between a private playgroup and a public school. Obviously a private playgroup in not as professional as a public school. At the same time, frum parents are choosing private playgoups over a public day care.

imasinger

Wed, Mar 04 2015, 11:27 am

I agree. Find another daycare.

Maybe there is an issue here to work on with your DS, maybe not.

When did she tell your DH she felt that your DS was a danger to her? Yesterday? Was that the first time you were made aware of a problem?

Or is this text part of a longer attempt on her part to communicate concern? If so, how have you responded?

amother

Wed, Mar 04 2015, 11:37 am

OP here

She told this to my husband when he went to pick my son up at 12 today.
He was not planning on bringing it up but she brought it up and made a huge deal about it.

Just yesterday she told my husband how he's being so good, and everyone (all the other kids in the group) love him.
Today she says everyone is scared of him.

Shes so inconsistent!

We have had 2 or 3 times before where he got aggressive with other kids. I always responded right away and spoke to my pediatrician about it. Each time, he (my dr.) said its normal and regular behavior for his age.
In addition, I noticed that when hes tired or hungry he'll be more susceptible to acting out and I told her this before.

Bruria

Wed, Mar 04 2015, 11:45 am

This morah does not sound stable, I think you should consider finding another playgroup or pre school. Like someone else said, if he is really doing the things she says and doesn't do it at home, it could be related to anxiety , especially if he notices that the morah is always upset at him!

Dandelion1

Wed, Mar 04 2015, 12:05 pm

Terrible! I would NEVER let my kid set foot in there again. Send her a text back saying "Your lack of professionalism, sensitivity, and appropriateness is shocking. My son will not be returning to your group anymore."