Appropriate gift for Indian or Pakistani Neighbor?

OOTBubby

Mon, Mar 09 2015, 9:00 pm

I'd like to know what kind of gift is appropriate for an Indian or Pakistani neighbor in the $35-$50 range? Please note that I am only specifying ethnicity because I know that culturally certain things would not be appropriate (like meat). We are building a new home and this is the only next door neighbor and they have been very helpful and accommodating under even difficult circumstances. We are just starting out but would like to give a gift now as they've just helped with one issue. We will be likely to give a more significant gift when we're finished.

Would something like a fruit basket be okay? Are there any specific fruits that could be taboo? Is wine okay?

Mimisinger

Mon, Mar 09 2015, 9:08 pm

I would give fruit sooner than I would give wine. Fruit is ok by everyone, whereas, wine isn't and is more taste oriented. What about some fruits and chocolates or hand towels and soaps? Ear plugs in a variety of rainbow colors?

MagentaYenta

Mon, Mar 09 2015, 9:10 pm

Sweets, candied nuts and flowers are always good gifts for people from India. I have Indian friends who always love to have flowers in their homes year round and culturally sweets and flowers are traditional gifts.

Mrs Bissli

Mon, Mar 09 2015, 9:15 pm

Definitely not wine if your neighbour is of Pakistani heritage. Fruit basket, floral arrangement or potted plants (not white bouquets though), chocolates (make sure no alcohol), pastry (my Indian neighbour LOVE rugelach/strudels), nice handwash/handsoap assortment.

bluebird

Mon, Mar 09 2015, 10:22 pm

If you give food, please check if they're Jains first. They are not just vegetarians. Their food restrictions might be even more involved than kashrut! It would be very hard to find an appropriate food gift in that case, so I would stick to non-food items. Even "machmir" vegetarian Hindus find it hard to cook for their Jain friends!

http://www.jainfoodie.com/jain.....ions/

greenfire

Mon, Mar 09 2015, 10:23 pm

Mimisinger wrote:

Ear plugs in a variety of rainbow colors?

loverly idea Colors

OOTBubby - don't wait on the gift because now is when they're going through the chaos of your construction

MagentaYenta

Mon, Mar 09 2015, 10:26 pm

bluebird wrote:

There are only about 100k Jains in the US, if you are in doubt ask. It's unlikely they are.

penguin

Mon, Mar 09 2015, 11:36 pm

Quote:

http://www.jainfoodie.com/jain-food-restrictions/

So fascinating. Sounds like their food would be quite kosher, as they are careful not to eat insects. I wonder if they use a light box?

(Of course you'd need bishul Yisroel too)

spring13

Mon, Mar 09 2015, 11:40 pm

According to my DH, who works with a lot of Indians, they like sweets: they tend to bring candy or chocolates back from trips to share with the group. Candy or fruit or maybe pastry (can you get something good that is vegan, just in case?) sounds like a good bet.

amother

Tue, Mar 10 2015, 3:38 am

I would avoid food altogether and give them a pretty serving dish or like someone else said some nice towels and soaps. Much safer.

DrMom

Tue, Mar 10 2015, 3:45 am

MagentaYenta wrote:

Careful with fruits, some fruits are symbols of individual deities cexual natures.

That is interesting. I have many many Indian friends and have had many Indian neighbors, all Hindu, and I have never heard of this concern before. I know lotuses feature in Hindu mythological tales, but you don't see those much in fruit baskets...

Even if what you say is true, would that make this fruit an inappropriate gift?

OOTBubby

Tue, Mar 10 2015, 9:55 am

greenfire wrote:

OOTBubby - don't wait on the gift because now is when they're going through the chaos of your construction

Greenie, we are doing it now BEFORE we've even started for that reason in general and specifically because they were particularly helpful regarding an administrative variance. We expect to do something even more at the end of construction and possibly throughout as well.

They are very nice people. We even had an instance shortly after we purchased the property (there is an existing old house there that we will tear down) when part of the porch collapsed and blew onto their property damaging it, and they were super nice about it. And they are the only next door neighbor as the house is in an odd position -- I'm pleased to have such neighbors.

OOTBubby

Tue, Mar 10 2015, 9:55 am

Looks like the best ideas are flowers (or a plant), sweets or fruit. Thanks everyone. I wanted to be sure I wouldn't pick anything that could be offensive, and hopefully something they would like.

penguin

Tue, Mar 10 2015, 1:56 pm

If you're worrying about possible offense, could soaps and towels possibly be interpreted to imply that someone needs to bathe more?

Fox

Tue, Mar 10 2015, 2:06 pm

This suggestion is perhaps a little out there, but why not ask on the Chicago Indo-American Center's Facebook page? They could warn you off of anything that might be problematic, and they might be able to suggest local resources.

Miri7

Tue, Mar 10 2015, 2:59 pm

I think that flowers, sweets and fruits are a good idea.

Since they are living in the USA, I wouldn't worry about offending with types of fruit - I think that they know that fruit baskets are a common gift and nothing is meant by the selection of any particular fruit if they happen to assign some cultural meaning to it. Those would be very particular customs that you aren't expected to know about, whereas you would be expected to know that many Hindus avoid meat and Muslims avoid alcohol.

Sounds like you will be great, thoughtful neighbors for one another. B'hatzlacha with the new home!

Smiling Wife

Tue, Mar 10 2015, 3:46 pm

soaps and lotions? WHOA! too personal shock

ewww I would be WEIRD-ED out if a neighbor brought me lotions or soap. Please stick to flowers or fruit basket not food not lotions not towels not soaps..