Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Parenting our children -> Toddlers
Is it wrong of me to keep my 2 year old home???
Previous  1  2  3  Next



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h

morah




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 15 2015, 11:26 am
There is nothing wrong! I work, so my kids are out, but if I didn't, then maybe not. That said, I don't think there's anything wrong with a SAHM sending a 2 year old out, some kids do need it. My older son is the type that could stay home till kindergarten, my younger one though is not even two and loves being in a group setting. If I were home, I don't know that I'd even make it to two before sending him to a playgroup, he climbs the walls at home and is thriving in a structured playgroup setting now. Every child is different, and if you're in a position to have a choice about it, you should make the decision on a case-by-case basis, not a blanket rule.
Back to top

Raisin




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 15 2015, 12:45 pm
I think a 2 year old can benefit from going out to a playgroup or class a couple of days a week. Unless you are a really hands on mother and arrange playdates, sit and do stuff with them etc.
Back to top

greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 15 2015, 2:08 pm
only read OP

no - if anything it is commendable with all the newfangled playgroups out there - kids forget to be kids ... keep the little one home - they grow healthier when they're coddled
Back to top

doublemama




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 15 2015, 2:59 pm
It is perfectly OK! I kept mine at home until age 4 where they had a half day preschool 2 days a week. It is very healthy and they had zero social problems, in fact my children are always being complimented in how nice and polite they are, how well they share and how concerned they are with the feelings of others. To each her own but I think 2 year olds are far far too young to be sent out. Take them to the park, that's plenty of socialization for a toddler!
Back to top

FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 15 2015, 3:18 pm
Up until the Industrial Revolution, all kids stayed home with their mothers. Somehow, they managed to survive just fine.

DD stayed home until kindergarten. I got a lot of attitude from people, but oddly they weren't too thrilled when I asked them to pay for day care or preschool tuition.

I wouldn't say that I "got nothing done while she was home". I was doing the most important job in the world, which is teaching and loving and nurturing another human being. Sure, I didn't get any new clothes during those years, and I had to live very frugally because I couldn't work extra hours, but so what?

When DD started kindergarten, I was actually really jealous of the school. She came home singing new songs that I had not taught her, learning new facts, and I felt like I was missing all kinds of cuteness while she was gone.

Her teachers all commented on how confident and outgoing was, and she made friends quickly, so I don't think she was permanently scarred by staying with me those early years.
Back to top

doublemama




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 15 2015, 3:31 pm
FranticFrummie wrote:
Up until the Industrial Revolution, all kids stayed home with their mothers. Somehow, they managed to survive just fine.

DD stayed home until kindergarten. I got a lot of attitude from people, but oddly they weren't too thrilled when I asked them to pay for day care or preschool tuition.

I wouldn't say that I "got nothing done while she was home". I was doing the most important job in the world, which is teaching and loving and nurturing another human being. Sure, I didn't get any new clothes during those years, and I had to live very frugally because I couldn't work extra hours, but so what?

When DD started kindergarten, I was actually really jealous of the school. She came home singing new songs that I had not taught her, learning new facts, and I felt like I was missing all kinds of cuteness while she was gone.

Her teachers all commented on how confident and outgoing was, and she made friends quickly, so I don't think she was permanently scarred by staying with me those early years.


This is so true! When my babies went to kindergarten, I cried all day! I missed them! Yes my house was cleaner and I got " stuff done" but I wanted to be with them. When they would come home they seemed so grown up, off conquering the world and I was home scrubbing toilets.

Their teachers all just how wonderful my kids were, so I knew I did the right thing for us.
Back to top

Imogen




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 15 2015, 3:34 pm
No way!!

If your 2 year old is happy and sees other kids I do not understand how there could be any problem at all. The only problem are other parents comparing what their peers are doing and making sure they are not only on the same page, but share every single comma and full stop. Child - parent separation is a private matter of choice as is the right amount of stimulation per child. My kids went to pre kindergarden at 2 and a half, I so wished I had kept them home for longer, once they are in school time spent together is very precious. Do what suits you and your kid!
Back to top

dancingqueen




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 15 2015, 4:34 pm
Yes it sounds like your SIL is insecure and maybe jealous. We women really need to support each others choices more and put each other down less.
Back to top

ProudMommie




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 15 2015, 6:08 pm
Sorry, your question kind of upsets me... This is a sad world that we live in if you have to ask such a question...when a mommy who wants to keep a baby at home needs to justify something??!

It is not only NOT wrong to keep your 2 year old at home, it is wrong to put a two year old anywhere UNLESS you can't survive without the extra money... etc.. To have more toys, luxuries, or just because you want to be "out of the house" ... no, it is unfair to your child to give him to a stranger to care for for your personal convenience.

This IS the time in your child's life when you can give to your child a piece of your heart/soul/mind... to instill the values that will guide him all his life. Later, too... but when he or she is two... this is the time you bond. That closeness is the foundation a person needs to grow. Ignore people who give you looks. Most people don't think beyond what "others" are doing... However, having said all that, it is very important to make connections with other mommies and kids, and community if you can...and just do things together, whether shopping or whatever. I love those times! Enjoy:) They get big eventually:)
Back to top

Leahh




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 15 2015, 6:09 pm
As was said before, I believe people that say toddlers at 18m or 2 yo need to be sent out send their kids out for various reasons and need to tell you to send yours out so they can justify to themselves that what their doing is the right thing.
if a mom is working and needs to send out for child care that's understandable. But if a mom is home and can keep a child home until school age that is really best. However, there are some children that do need more stimulation and socialization and that can be achieved by arranging playdates, going to local libraries and museums or mommy and me groups.
Back to top

mirror




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 15 2015, 6:26 pm
There are studies about this that show kids that age prefer their mother's attention.

If you go to a preschool, there are some kids that are always trying to get the teacher's attention.

Your child will not have to compete for attention. LOL
Back to top

Laughing Bag!




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 15 2015, 8:16 pm
Not wrong at all. Kol hakavod to you for doing it. Toddlers need the love their mother can provide. If someone doesn't 'have' to send out I believe it's in the child's best interest to be home, whenever possible.
I had my oldest home til 3.5 because that's how it worked out for us. My second I sent out at 2 and 10m. My third I have still home at 2 and have not yet decided when I'll send her out. My baby might end up going out at 2 and 11m. It all depends on their birthday for me. I'm home and take it as it comes. I get comments all the time why I don't send them out earlier but it is no one's business what I do if that's what works for us.
Good luck and enjoy your toddler give him as many his as you can because once he does go out he won't get that many Wink
Back to top

MaBelleVie




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 15 2015, 8:18 pm
Simple1 wrote:
Probably like Heidi said, depends on what you are doing at home with the child. I was told by a PA when I asked about a 3 yo, that it the child could be behind in social skills - but only temporarily.

I did keep a 2 yo at home this year - but I only regret it for selfish reasons - didn't get much accomplished this year. I freelance and actually had to turn down some jobs.

It's fine - in the "olden days" when a lot of women stayed home, toddlers didn't go out - they are really babies.


This made me laugh (not at you Wink ), since a PA has basically zero background in the social/emotional development of toddlers. In my limited experience, which is obviously anecdotal, toddlers that stay home with an attentive caregiver tend to be more socially and emotionally mature that their peers who are playgroup.
Back to top

elisheva25




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 15 2015, 8:41 pm
No its fine if it works for you and the child . I send out my oldest 2 @ 2.5, and mainly because I had another baby by than and had no time to give any attention. But now my baby @ home is over 2, and I am still keeping him home cuz he is fine at home, and I'm prob sending him out closer to 3
Back to top

shanie5




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 15 2015, 10:23 pm
Its wrong of you to send your 2 year old out because s/o else thinks its best for her/him.
Back to top

Simple1




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 15 2015, 10:42 pm
MaBelleVie wrote:
This made me laugh (not at you Wink ), since a PA has basically zero background in the social/emotional development of toddlers. In my limited experience, which is obviously anecdotal, toddlers that stay home with an attentive caregiver tend to be more socially and emotionally mature that their peers who are playgroup.


Maybe you're right. I just thought she meant that a kid who has never been out before will take more time adjusting then one who has been to playgroup before and then will catch up. It's interesting what you said about the PA having no experience in that area, because they tend to be a parents only access to professional advice about kids development before they enter school.
Back to top

Alef Bais




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 15 2015, 11:55 pm
I have my 2 1/2 year old home with me. When he turns three IY"H, he will start day camp and then go to nursery. I don't think this year at home will cause him to be socially lacking in anyway. He has older siblings and a very fun and easygoing personality. He is the child I kept home the longest of any of my kids. Of course some children really need the outside stimulation more than others, but it is not wrong to keep a 2 year old home.

If I had a job this year, it would be a no-brainer to send him out to playgroup. I hope to find a job once he starts day camp!
Back to top

amother


 

Post Mon, Mar 16 2015, 10:44 am
OP (and everyone else who keeps 2-3 yr olds home with them) just curious - what do you do with your 2 year old all day?
I would love to do it as well, but I just know that my oldest child was soooo bored at home at 22 months. He would destroy the house. I would try to sit with him and play, but he just did not seem interested. I don't have any friends with toddlers in the area, so he also didn't have any playdates. He was so happy and calm since he starting play group (9 am - 1 pm) but I really would like to keep my 2nd child (who will be turning 2 soon BH) home, if possible.
Back to top

sky




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 16 2015, 10:51 am
I think it is great to keep a 2 year old at home.
I have to send out because I work, but I keep my babies at a babysitter (not playgroup) until 3.
they still need a mommy type atmosphere where they eat and sleep when they want and get lots of individualized love. At that age they don't need a playgroup with projects and structure.
Back to top

mha3484




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 16 2015, 11:09 am
My oldest went to playgroup when he was 2 years 9 months. I did it mainly because I work full time but I think the structure was good for him too.

The year before, I worked 2-3 days a week and the days we were home together, we walked to do errands, baked, played with toys, cleaned up, went to the park. It can really be done.
Back to top
Page 2 of 3 Previous  1  2  3  Next Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Parenting our children -> Toddlers

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Pls help me keep Lego organized in apartment
by amother
5 Today at 11:24 am View last post
Birthday gift one year old
by dbg
2 Today at 1:11 am View last post
Affordable 3 year old girls clothes
by amother
4 Today at 12:46 am View last post
[ Poll ] S/o of $40k is $150k a year enough to get by?
by amother
31 Yesterday at 6:40 pm View last post
Do babies keep spitting up after starting food?
by amother
2 Yesterday at 12:02 am View last post