Nanny salary and the burden

amother

Sun, Mar 15 2015, 4:37 pm

It's quite a necessity for us to have full time help as we have young closely spaced kids and I am in my third trimester b"H. However the burden it takes on our finances in pretty insane. We pay the live in nanny 100 a day and she stays 5-6 days a week (more often 6) but she won't do heavy duty cleaning so I also have to have a cleaning lady twice a month who I pay 90 each time. Forgetting the cleaning lady for a minute, my dh makes only a little more than double what we pay my sitter so we have not been able to save money at all. Half goes to her and then we have a little more than half each week left but with life there are expenses and its all being spent. We have therapy for one child another 200 a week and then it's all really being spent dh is in therapy too - we have about 900 dollars left in account and dh blames the nanny salary but if I were to look for cheaper the help may be less quality and as it is I have issues but u do get what u pay for and at this point in our lives the nanny help is crucial. Feel depressed don't know how we can save more.

Barbara

Sun, Mar 15 2015, 4:53 pm

amother wrote:

What about your salary?

Or are you a SAHM with full time childcare, plus regular cleaning help?

Sorry, confused here.

mirror

Sun, Mar 15 2015, 4:58 pm

amother wrote:

It's quite a necessity for us to have full time help as we have young closely spaced kids and I am in my third trimester b"H. However the burden it takes on our finances in pretty insane.

1. Call your local Rav.

2. Go on BC.

3. When the youngest is in school, save $$$ and fire nanny.

pesek zman

Sun, Mar 15 2015, 4:58 pm

Barbara wrote:

What about your salary?

Or are you a SAHM with full time childcare, plus regular cleaning help?

Sorry, confused here.

Same here. I agree that a nanny is necessary if you are both working full time. But if you are home, I don't see why you can't cut back on her or the cleaning lady's hours........

elisheva25

Sun, Mar 15 2015, 5:05 pm

Nanny help is crucial if you have little kids, even if you are @ sahm if you can afford it . Bu lt the thing is, it doesn't have to be full time . You need to find someone who maybe charges more than $1o/hr but who is worth every penny and helps with child care and cleaning . I pay someone $15 an hr and I have her like 15-18 hrs a week and she is great . She will help with kids, laundry and do cleaning . So I think you need to look for someone else . You might get less hrs per day, but the work that a good nanny will do and money saved for not paying $500 a week will be worth it. You have to just find a way and take of that one, two, or than iyh 3 kids on your own some parts of the week . But it's doable .you can even than keep the twice a month cleaning help @ 90 dollars.

elisheva25

Sun, Mar 15 2015, 5:07 pm

OPINIONATED wrote:

1. Call your local Rav.

2. Go on BC.

3. When the youngest is in school, save $$$ and fire nanny.

I don't think it can has anything to do with bc. Some people are better parents when they have help with little kids @ home . It's all individual . And depends how close in age your kids are .

Raisin

Sun, Mar 15 2015, 5:16 pm

elisheva25 wrote:

Why is nanny care crucial? I've only employed a nanny when I had to leave the house to work. Otherwise, I did find cleaning help essential, but bh I've managed without a nanny otherwise.

Obviously, if someone has emotional, mental or physical issues that make looking after children difficult, they may need a nanny. but bh many women, even with closely spaced children manage just fine.

Ashrei

Sun, Mar 15 2015, 6:18 pm

Nanny help is totally crucial, I see why you need it OP. I have an involved SN child and 3 other young children. We have had a full time nanny and pay about the same as you. She started at $500/week, but now, after about 3 years, I pay $12 an hour and she works from 7:30-5:30 on a normal day, so it comes out to a bit more. We used to have her on Shabbos, but cut it to save money.

My nanny definitely does heavy cleaning.
She also mends, although she's not that good at it, it saves us on clothes and tailoring.

We also have $0 in the bank, live week to week basically.

I would insist on the heavy cleaning or find someone else. OR wait until your new baby imy'h is a few months old and you're in a better position to find someone new.

ETA: Did your nanny not do laundry? She really should. Our nanny does laundry and hangs it to dry, only I use the drier on Sunday to save money...

Yael3

Sun, Mar 15 2015, 6:31 pm

Is nanny-share a possibility? That is where you would have a friend bring her kid(s) over to your place and your nanny would watch them too for just a few extra dollars per hour. It's how we saved on babysitting when we needed full time before my daughter started Gan.

mummiedearest

Sun, Mar 15 2015, 7:02 pm

live in for 5-6 days is a lot unless you are seriously incapable of caring for your children. if you're on bedrest, it makes sense. if you're having a normal pregnancy, it's hard to care for the kids, but it should be possible. and it would be cheaper to have a preteen mother's helper after school hours in addition to an adult babysitter during school hours than to have a live-in. there are other options out there.

justcallmeima

Sun, Mar 15 2015, 7:15 pm

If OP says having a nanny is crucial, then it is crucial for her!!! I don't think telling her she "should be able to manage without it" is helpful. Perhaps you could find someone who would also do cleaning and you might find that if you have someone coming in every day and does cleaning and dishes and laundry as well as child minding, that you would be able to manage with someone 3-4 hours a day instead of 8 hours a day. This would cut your Nanny expenses and your cleaning lady expenses down significantly.

elisheva25

Sun, Mar 15 2015, 8:26 pm

Look guys for some it's crucial and for some it isn't . We all have different kids, diff personalities, diff definitions of a clean house, and spouses that are able to help in varying degrees . And if not any of thAt, having extra help at home means....more time for you to be you, less exhaustion and stress so you can be a better wife and a mother . We should all be blessed with finances, that allows us to afford help. Not judge, why we need it . And again to the op: you need to be able to get more for your money . Maybe not full time live in help type, but maybe someone for less hours who will be able to do more in your house .

granolamom

Sun, Mar 15 2015, 9:52 pm

OP, I'm not sure what you're asking. aside from getting a nanny who will also clean or doing a nanny share as suggested above, the question becomes one of priorities. and only you and your dh can figure that out. if a live in nanny is crucial, then yes, it will be a financial burden. if you want to save more, then you might choose to cut back on the help.
I think the reason someone mentioned bc is because when you consider the costs to support your needs as your family grows, some might choose to limit their family size. its not unreasonable, but again, that's a matter of personal priorities.

MamaBear

Sun, Mar 15 2015, 10:08 pm

I actually thought the post was a joke, kind of like stirring things up. Serious.

But if you or your kids have medical problems that necessitate such a large amount of help, then perhaps you should look into community chessed as a way of alleviating the burden without the financial cost.

ETA, And if you don't have some other problems that make it all necessary then you might just have to cut the nanny's hrs and work a bit harder at taking care of your kids.

tichellady

Sun, Mar 15 2015, 10:20 pm

I think that it's a bit unrealistic to expect your husband to support you and your children and pay a salary to a full time employee ( your nanny) and to have lots of money left over at the end of the month. Most people don't make such big salaries, especially when they are in the earlier stages of their career and starting their family. this is why people are suggesting either cutting down on expenses ( your nanny's hours) or increasing your income ( you working as well). There's really no amazing solution, unfortunately.

Kugglegirl

Sun, Mar 15 2015, 11:33 pm

If you have the room for a live-in, why not try having an au-pair through the registered agencies. You get 40 hrs a week & when I did this, was able to get MO Israeli girls who wanted to be in my Kosher home.

The cost ends up being about $365 weekly. http://www.aupairinamerica.com/fees/

You can PM me if you want details on how to find an Israeli girl who would like being in a frum home.

abby1776

Mon, Mar 16 2015, 1:11 am

Usually live in help gets paid less because you are also feeding her and giving her housing. If she lives with you - she should be making 400 - 500 a week because you feed and house her. But if you make her work more than 8 hours a day I can see why she charges 100 a day - if you expect her to work from 7 am when the kids get up to 7 pm when they go to sleep that is 12 hours and 100 a day is less than 10 an hour.