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Telz Yeshiva Cleveland



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amother


 

Post Mon, Mar 16 2015, 9:59 pm
We just got a call from our 15 year olds DS principal . He feels our son needs to go to this Yeshiva and will make arrangements for him ASAP . I am stunned and terrified....

What kind of place is this ? my son is my oldest and Dad and I are BTs who never went to Yeshivos .

My son is a gifted learner but has been getting lazy in his religious studies but excelling in the more secular ones and loving math and science , he has been sick a lot this year too so I wonder if they feel he is no longer "worth it" I honestly feel like he just got expelled . The Rabbi said a change would force him to go up a level and push himself to prove himself so to me that sounds like expelled Sad Crying

I am panicking as he is full scholarship kid , I have no money what if he gets hurt and we are 3 hours away .
I have been bawling all afternoon since the Rabbi called .

Please tell me what kind of place is this , his current place is your standard Litvish Yeshiva

thank you . Crying
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 16 2015, 10:10 pm
time out ...

you get to make decisions for your son not his principal

I can tell you "Telz" is properly spelled --Telshe--

other than that as a mother if I have discovered one sure thing in life - all schools have their issues and a 15 year old should be at home

breathe - think - don't do anything rash -

besides the boys' yeshivos are off from rosh chodesh nissan till the end of the month
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amother


 

Post Mon, Mar 16 2015, 10:17 pm
Thank you!
I feel we were given no choices . It sounded like he expected he will start there post Pesach break
As you pointed out I can't even spell the name embarrassed

Never even head of this place. Is painful to be a clueless BT Crying embarrassed
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 16 2015, 10:58 pm
well it's in cleveland ... both the dxh & sonny boy went there

I hear it has changed a lot since ...
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amother


 

Post Mon, Mar 16 2015, 11:04 pm
greenfire wrote:
well it's in cleveland ... both the dxh & sonny boy went there

I hear it has changed a lot since ...


Please tell me what you know! is it good or bad modern or shtark ? is it a place were they would care for him ? is it a place were you can talk to the Rebbis if you have an issue or question .
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bur2mon




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 16 2015, 11:38 pm
Pm me I may have someone you can talk to.
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kb




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 16 2015, 11:42 pm
I don't know anything about the yeshiva, but I would like to believe that full scholarship or not, if something would happen to your son, the school would take care of him!
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black sheep




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 16 2015, 11:46 pm
Please don't just do whatever the rosh decided. He is not the parent.

It sounds like you are not even sure why the rosh decided this, or if your son is expelled.

Have you spoken to your son?

You say you are BT and unaware of the yeshiva system, so let me set something straight for you: there is something very fishy with the rosh calling you and saying your son must go to an out of town yeshiva, with some flimsy explanation, and making the arrangements so abruptly.

Don't let yourself be pressured into something like this.
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amother


 

Post Tue, Mar 17 2015, 12:20 am
This makes NO SENSE !
My son is an excellent student
His last report card was great
Purim was normal fun (he got tipsy but did not even throw up)
he does not smoke he is in fact allergic to smoke

Only big goof up I can think off :
3 of his friends bought a hamster and had him house it in his locker ,he is a nurturer . I honestly thought the call would be about that .

The Rabbi sold my son as this would be a great experience bla ,bla,bla but to us he told us he is not performing according to his great ability (report card said otherwise) and he feels that starting from the bottom would force him to prove himself and grow.
Meanwhile
My old car cant even drive the distance .
I do not have registration money
or the extra insurance it would cost me to send him away .

we are a wreck right now . Crying

Crying
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Kugglegirl




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 17 2015, 12:31 am
I would be on the phone non-stop until I got some straight answers. Hope you can sort this out.
Hugs.
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black sheep




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 17 2015, 12:34 am
Normally, a rosh would call in the parents, talk about the problems (not performing to full potential, or whatever the issues are,) and then ask the parents how they would like to deal with it, what next steps they would like to take. The rosh is very much overstepping by making the decision for you, pressuring you into it, and speaking to your son about it behind your back. I think you should take back your role as parent, and tell the rosh no, that your son will be staying home.
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amother


 

Post Tue, Mar 17 2015, 2:19 am
I would NOT send your son to telz!

I don't care BT or not, you are a person and a parent and YOU are going to find out what is going on with your son and YOU are going to decide what happens next with him.

And since you haven't heard of this place before. let me tell you some painful personal experience - inappropriate zexual activity between the boys with the vip's kids being protected and the others being threatened to keep quiet or be expelled
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 17 2015, 7:41 am
the problem that I see is that it sounds like a rash decision - you as a parent don't even want to make ... so don't do it

all 'out of town' schools have the same issues as 'in your town' schools ... you can't run away from them - and a principal can't force a kid to prove himself and improve himself by pushing them too hard and alienating him from his home - that is too much pressure for a teenage boy

if you think it's because you are a bt - then guess again - because this guy sounds like he thinks he can walk all over you & you will jump because you don't know any better and of course want your son to have more than you learning wise ... it's not really how it works - you can't manipulate a situation - if your son is a good enough student he will be the same in your locale as he is in my locale

I think you need to get to the bottom of this and find out what this rebbie's real reason is

politics & BS go on in every yeshiva ...

& guess what I had to fight for my son to take the SAT because nobody else was taking them and nobody there was interested in helping me sign the papers to get him [whatever it was he needed at the time]

dorm life is not for everyone ... it should be for no one if you ask me
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Fox




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 17 2015, 11:58 am
Please feel free to PM me. I have a 15-year-old son there now, and he's been very happy and successful.

It's a little hard to tell what your son's Menahel/Rosh Yeshiva is getting at in advising the switch. Both Telz Cleveland and Telz Chicago are considered reasonably competitive yeshivas, though Cleveland has a reputation for being more nurturing than Chicago.

That leads me to believe that the Menahel/Rosh Yeshiva *may* see this as a "promotion" to a more demanding yeshiva and believes he's doing you a favor by making all the arrangements. His world view may simply not encompass a parent for whom the level of learning isn't the only concern.

Unless or until there's other evidence to the contrary, I would assume that your son's Menahel is genuinely trying to give your son the best possible opportunities; is probably aware that you and your DH aren't familiar with the various levels and reputations of yeshivas; and is simply going about it a bit badly and insensitively.

I would also suggest you speak with Rabbi Aharon Levitansky, sh"lita, the Menahel/Mashgiach (I've forgotten his exact title) for the mesivta ("mechina" in Telz-loshen). He spent many, many years in kiruv before assuming this job, and though he is often pressed for time, he can address your concerns as well as give you insight into why your son's school is suggesting the switch.

Obviously, there is trouble to be had of various sorts whenever you have a campus full of young men. That said, I've been impressed so far with the way the administration has handled a couple of sensitive situations that have come up during the year.

I also see a huge difference in having a beis medrash (college-age yeshiva) and a kollel as part of the same institution. My other son attended a stand-alone mesivta, and the presence of older boys and plenty of adult men makes for a much better atmosphere.
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 17 2015, 2:09 pm
My DH attended Telze Cleveland as a young teen, and he still speaks of the place with nostalgia. I know it's like 25+ years since then, but the right Yeshiva really builds a person. I don't know what it's like today, but DH loved the place, and is still close to his Rabbeim. He was so touched to be invited to his Rebbe's daughter's wedding which took place in Lakewood; it's that kind of place, warm and close years later.
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ectomorph




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 17 2015, 2:17 pm
Telz has an excellent reputation in the yeshiva world. Like Fox said, it's possible the RY just wants to see your son grow to his full potential. Perhaps he thinks your son would benefit from a more prestigious yeshiva.

Since he sees it as a positive change, he thinks you will be delighted, and he didn't realize that he has to discuss it with you and explain why he recommends this.

Your son is far from being expelled if the RY thinks he should be in Telz.

It is more like skipping a grade.

As for the guinea pig incident, that is well within the norm of yeshiva pranks, My dh's friend kept a monkey in his dorm room.
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black sheep




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 17 2015, 2:24 pm
as a side point, I think it is generally not in a boy's best interest to be away from home at 15. unless he is having issues specifically in his home (fighting with siblings, not waking up for school consistently, living in squalor worse than a boys dorm,) a boy still needs his family at 15. and as much as telshe has a good reputation in learning, they have the most awful reputation in terms of issues in the dorm. and at 15, you basically have only a couple of years before your son is an adult and WANTS to leave home, I say hold onto him for another couple of years, while you still can!!!
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 17 2015, 2:28 pm
black sheep wrote:
as a side point, I think it is generally not in a boy's best interest to be away from home at 15. unless he is having issues specifically in his home (fighting with siblings, not waking up for school consistently, living in squalor worse than a boys dorm,) a boy still needs his family at 15. and as much as telshe has a good reputation in learning, they have the most awful reputation in terms of issues in the dorm. and at 15, you basically have only a couple of years before your son is an adult and WANTS to leave home, I say hold onto him for another couple of years, while you still can!!!


ITA with this. My DH went to Telz at 15, because my MIL A"H was sick then and she felt that being away from home would be better for him. Otherwise he would've stayed home. He ended up loving it, though.

I don't have boys yet....but I can't imagine sending my teenager away from home.

However some boys seem to thrive from the experience.
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 17 2015, 2:53 pm
even if people are well-meaning - they can't make the right choice for you ... you have to go into anything with wisdom & dignity ... not just follow blindly

how does your son feel about all of this ?
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