What to do with cheap sheitel without skin top?

hinenimuchan

Tue, Mar 17 2015, 11:37 pm

First of all, I don't think you need to stress. In most situations, the most important thing is that you look good. Other frum females know you are wearing a sheitel anyway, so unless you are in a very critical social environment, it should not make much of a difference. Your husband knows too, and he gets to see your natural hair anyway.

That said, if the fabric is kind of see-through, you can wear a scalp-colored or at least skin-colored wig cap underneath. These range from nylon pantihose fabric that is almost disposable to cotton(y) thicker base layers. They offer the added benefit that if your own hair is long you can shove it into the cap all over and it will stay put without the need for a ponytail so there is less bulge, and you can shift your own hair inside the cap to most advantageous areas in terms of filling out the wig cap and creating the most flattering fit. I have been very happy with boxes of 12 or 15 pantihose type ones by Jon Renau, which I bought once in a local medical wig store and once online at HB Beauty Bar. They cost about $1 each that way and you can wear them several times before they are too torn or stretched out to wear.

If the fabric is not see-through, one thing that will help is to wear a style that does not emphasize the part, such as bangs that start pretty far back. If it needs to be parted, try to style it so the part is as blurry as possible and so the hair strands stand up near the scalp rather than lying flat. This de-emphasizes the part. I have seen such volumizing done by gentle teasing with a comb or by elevating the hairs with small (stainless if metal) hair clips when wet and letting them dry that way.

Another idea to experiment with might be the opposite of something I saw on YouTube. They were giving a more natural, slightly rooted look to a really cheap (costume type) light blonde wig. Basically, put a little powder of the desired color right at the bottom of the hairs in the part area. I would apply it with a very fine makeup brush so you can apply it precisely at the bottom. If that does not work, maybe try feathering a light concealer, or suitably colored washable eyeliner or lip liner, very lightly just on the fabric in the part area.

Good luck and mazal tov.

tzniutfashion

Wed, Mar 18 2015, 1:23 am

Actually, what you have, a sheitel which is not natural, because it doesn't have the skin-like parting is what our Rabbonim of today say is a modest sheitel, assuming the length and style are also appropriate.

Sheitels that are wiggy and not natural are the ones that the Poskim (Magen Avraham) approved of when they make the heter that sheitels are allowed. The heter is invalid if the wig passes for real hair. So don't throw it away yet.

Nice source about Wigs in Halacha here.

Wigs in Halacha

Start at 32 minutes into it.

Last edited by tzniutfashion on Wed, Mar 18 2015, 10:41 am; edited 1 time in total

Ruchel

Wed, Mar 18 2015, 8:17 am

tzniutfashion wrote:

THis is not how most rabbanim pasken. BH.

silbergirl

Wed, Mar 18 2015, 1:02 pm

Its so ugly when I wear it, hairline totally off. It looks worse than the granny wigs my grandmother zt'l used to wear...
I know about sheitels and tznius. Rav Falk and others just basically frown on overly attractive, long wigs. But you shouldnt look like garbage, either. It is common sense to wear something nice but not too eyecatching. And yes, I recognize all normal full sheitels.

In my community (yes, it is very frum) noone wears a wig without skintop/silk and they all look tzniusdik and appropriate. Even the Chasidic ladies who are not double coverering.
And the Belzers and Satmar ladies wear a hat on top, anyway.
Yet, even their wigs are nicer than mine.

Noone wears a shmatta on their heads here. (besides that, for my work I have to deal with some non-Jews also, some even arab, which in Europe may be problematic these days. I work in a hotel, boss is frum chasidic jewish but we cant handpick the guests. So I have to look natural and well put together, I wore a snood at times and my boss told me I should wear a pretty sheitel to work. I absolutely cant wear a mop. I do not chas v sholom want to be harassed by anyone, either, because I wear a shmatta that gives it right away even for the most blind person I am jewish.)

Even in Boro Park or Bnei Brak I have never ever come across a lady who wears a shmatta without skintop/silktop (except maybe some very old ladies). The davka chasidic ones double cover anyway and the more leftwing chasidim and yeshivish type women all have skin top sheitels. In NYC actually most frum women wear sheitels that make them look dressed to kill! Yes, I can still recognize them as sheitels as anyone with experience can. You do not have to wear a mop.
Also I went to chasidic sheitelmachers in very frum places before and noone even offered a sheitel without silk top (some had the hat sheitels without any hair on top). It does not seem to be up to date anymore to sell plain sheitels without silk. A lot of discon Freedas have it, too. I really guess it is out of style, dont think the new ones have it.

I got the shmatta online at Malky Wigs in NYC. It was very cheap, 140 dollars. I guess I got what I paid for. I got a second sheitel from her, too, which is way nicer and has a silk top. But I cant send the shmatta back.

At least now I know, never buy a sheitel online anymore. But I am a poor newlywed... sigh...

Question stays: What to do with my mop? lol

tzniutfashion

Wed, Mar 18 2015, 1:35 pm

Just because everyone else does it, doesn't mean that they are doing it al pi halacha and out of yiras Shamayim.

The Yetzer hara has even penetrated even the Chassidic communities to the point where many have left the fold.

Many wear Kardashian wigs and try to look like her, does that make it mutar? No. But yes, plenty wear it and mimic Hollywood.

You have to ask yourself, "Am I covering my hair because I fear G-d, or because I fear my boss?"
Wear your shmatta and see if your boss will even notice. If he notices and insists that you must look like you're not wearing a wig, then you don't have to work for him. Go find a G-d fearing Jew to work with.

"When Moshiach comes, the first thing he'll do is to abolish the use of wigs," said Maran Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach, zt"l.

MrsDash

Wed, Mar 18 2015, 1:39 pm

tzniutfashion wrote:

It's interesting. A very good friend of mine, who happens to be a Christian woman, said almost the very same thing to me, but instead of "yetzer hara" she used the term "satan."

silbergirl

Wed, Mar 18 2015, 2:01 pm

Tzniutfashion, FYI my boss is a SHE and a MARRIED chasidic lady with a large family kayinayinhora!!!! Bigtime yichus and an all frum family, one of the most respected families in town. How dare you call her not g-d fearing! What an incredible thing to say.

And I think you can look nice and still look tzniusdik. Not all sheitels with silktops are Kardashian wigs, gosh! It also depends on how you carry yourself. The whole picture is it. In sem, one particular teacher was praised by all for her incredible sense of tzanua. She wore a shoulder length straight sheitel - of course - with a silk top, she dressed very refined and carried herself with dignity and elegance. I attended a chareidi sem FYI.

Nuff said.

Dolly Welsh

Wed, Mar 18 2015, 2:27 pm

It sounds as if the wig looks good.

It sounds as if someone peering at the top of your head can tell you are wearing a wig.

The thing is, it is never really a secret someone is wearing a wig. Not if you are around them a lot. It is also no secret why they are wearing it. It is known why you take certain days off. You are religious, you wear a wig. To those you see a lot. Others won't know or care.

You do indeed need to feel happy and pretty in any wig. But this could be your run-to-the-store wig, with no problems.

Wig wearing is very uncommon in ordinary civilian life, and people are not looking for this. Most passersby will not peer, and not think about whether you are wearing a wig or not.

Perhaps you are wondering if it will make you look poor.

My own experience is if you look exactly right for you, it is all right. There's more to that than a skin part.

You can have a skin part and look terrible and you can have an unrealistic part and look terrific.

tzniutfashion

Wed, Mar 18 2015, 3:21 pm

silbergirl wrote:

Since your boss is female, this is even better. Sit down with her and learn the halachos of the wig, from the video link I put up in my earlier post.

I'll repeat it here for convenience sake.

http://tznius.tips/modesty-shm......html

Basically there are 2 conditions in permitting the wig from Mishna Berura and MAgen Avraham.
1) The wig must look wiggy
2) The wig must be short

Tizku l'mitzvos!

silbergirl

Wed, Mar 18 2015, 5:40 pm

Ah I know now who you are! Very Happy

I am and have always been putting a huge emphasis on tznius. However I want to feel good and want to wear something I can feel good in. And I do not know what American ladies wear nowadays but here all sheitels are clearly visible as such. Skin top or not, I can tell who wears one. Here noone wears overly long or flashy sheitels. Even the rich ladies in the community who can afford flashy dresses and wigs dress very tzniusdik, cute and refined (besides that they are huge tzadeikos - all rich families here host tons of guests every Shabbos and do lots of kiruv work).

I do not need any advice on tznius, thanks a lot, I adhere to strict standards. I just want a solution for this ugly wig so I have not wasted money. And it is a mitzva for a jewish woman to look well put together bas melech in public. I do not mean skin tight skirts and lycra shells and high heels and a waist long wig. No idea where your ideas come from that ALL wigs are bad. Here noone wears a "Kardashian wig"... It is not so black and white. It is not either shmatta or Kardashian and nothing inbetween.
Really, I do not know what image you have in mind. Maybe in NYC it is different and more gashmius? no idea, havent been there in a long time. Here all the wig wearing ladies are on a high level of tznius. Noone flashy or trying to imitate Hollywood or some pop stars. Just pure European style elegance and noble refinement. Think old world Hungarian. You get the idea.

Wearing this wig, the way it is now, sorry, I simply do not feel put together. I do not feel more modest. I simply feel bad. It looks like it is having moths on top. Twisted Evil

silbergirl

Wed, Mar 18 2015, 6:01 pm

OT: could anyone explain to me why a tichel is considered more modest by some authorities than a sheitel? A simple sheitel style is imho much less eye catching than most tichels. Just look at the creations Wrapunzel and Leelach sell. I think they are way more attention seeking than any plain, short or medium length brown or blackish wig, silk top or not.

A normal sheitel does not necessarily draw the attention to the wearers facial features while a tichel definitely always does, especially when it is colorful. So where is the plus in modesty? Because the hair looks more covered?