Are Shabbos robes "shabbosdik"? Spin off

watergirl

Thu, Mar 19 2015, 4:02 pm

seeker wrote:

I dunno, I find it hard to feel Shabbosdik in a maxi skirt, that's what we used to wear to hang around camp or dorm in my teen days... on weekdays at times when you weren't being seen. How is that Shabbosdik? Is there a particular type/brand/fabric of maxi skirt that is nicer looking?

Seeker, I love you and I usually agree with your posts. This one, esp. the bolded, I take issue with. Like I said in the other thread, when WOULD you be seen in a robe? Would you go to PTA in a Shabbos robe? No. Would you run to the grocery store in a Shabbos rope? Nope. I would go to PTA in a long black slinky. That's the "to each his own" aspect.

My husband will not allow our girls to come to the table in a Shabbos robe - he feels that they aren't shabbosdik! I wont buy them. $150 on a single item of clothing? For something that you wont leave the house in? Are you NUTS? DH says if someone buys it for you, wear it, but put on actual clothing that is kavodik to the Shabbos table. Doesn't need to be stockings, but something that you will leave the house and go to visit a friend or go to the park in. If you wont leave the house with out stockings, then you must come to the table in it. We have a sefer called Shabbos Secrets by Rabbi Dovid Meisels that explains why DH has the hashkafa that he has about the robes. Again, to each his own.

Obviously, it isn't a bathrobe. But I don't get the knocking those who choose to wear a comfortable skirt and top. I don't care if the thing is made out of pure silk and accented in real gold with real diamonds and if its stunning enough for a wedding - when it gets to the point where it looks like a gown and costs like a gown, why not just get dressed already?

Kitten

Thu, Mar 19 2015, 4:27 pm

I think sometimes people think this particular item is a robe because it is sold as a robe. If it would be sold as a dress (maybe in a shorter length) people would buy it as a dress that they would wear to a chasuna! IMO, the line between robes and dresses is sometimes blurry. Robes can be really fancy and not made out of some flimsy material. That said, the prices are really crazy, like most things you get at frum stores.

amother

Thu, Mar 19 2015, 4:31 pm

In my community its very accepted to go out in a shabbos robe. I wouldn't go out in a long black skirt even in the wkdy but shabbos in a long robe yes. Its really a matter of opinion. Really no right or wrong abt it and it all abt how you feel. I just say that today shabbos robes can be very fancy. I remember trying on a one-piece robe, when on it actually looked like a 2 piece outfit. It had a belt and it just had that look.
Again there's no "this is right, that is wrong" here.

gp2.0

Thu, Mar 19 2015, 4:39 pm

watergirl wrote:

Obviously, to each his own. And please feel to skip my rant if your just going to tell me "If you dont like it, dont wear it". Thats obvious. Anyways, here is my thread -

I don't really "get" the Shabbos rode thing - never have. Its a dress that is made from a soft material, its washable, and its more comfortable than getting fully dressed on Shabbos. I get that. This is what I don't get - takes from the original thread:
Seeker, I love you and I usually agree with your posts. This one, esp. the bolded, I take issue with. Like I said in the other thread, when WOULD you be seen in a robe? Would you go to PTA in a Shabbos robe? No. Would you run to the grocery store in a Shabbos rope? Nope. I would go to PTA in a long black slinky. That's the "to each his own" aspect.

My husband will not allow our girls to come to the table in a Shabbos robe - he feels that they aren't shabbosdik! I wont buy them. $150 on a single item of clothing? For something that you wont leave the house in? Are you NUTS? DH says if someone buys it for you, wear it, but put on actual clothing that is kavodik to the Shabbos table. Doesn't need to be stockings, but something that you will leave the house and go to visit a friend or go to the park in. If you wont leave the house with out stockings, then you must come to the table in it. We have a sefer called Shabbos Secrets by Rabbi Dovid Meisels that explains why DH has the hashkafa that he has about the robes. Again, to each his own.

Obviously, it isn't a bathrobe. But I don't get the knocking those who choose to wear a comfortable skirt and top. I don't care if the thing is made out of pure silk and accented in real gold with real diamonds and if its stunning enough for a wedding - when it gets to the point where it looks like a gown and costs like a gown, why not just get dressed already?

Rabbi Dovid Meisels writes that girls and women shouldn't eat at the shabbos table wearing robes?

imaima

Thu, Mar 19 2015, 4:40 pm

I have never understood the concept of a shabbes robe.
It is supposed otbe the BEST clothing you own, better than simchah clothing. YOu are supposed to wear it even if you stay home with no guests, because you wear it likvod shabbes, not likvod guests or people in the shul.

Obviously, those with tons of fancy beading are different, but a plain old black velvet gown with just lace here and there screams "I am too lazy to dress up, besides I am also covering up my fat rolls".

Maya

Thu, Mar 19 2015, 4:52 pm

amother wrote:

It's a matter of hypocrisy, not opinion.

In Williamsburg, I was constantly criticized for going to the grocery across the street in a long black skirt, but it's perfectly acceptable to walk across town on Shabbos in robes sweeping the floors. It makes no sense whatsoever, so don't try to justify it. Why are you allowed to "feel" it's okay to wear a long robe out but I'm not allowed to "feel" it's okay to wear it to the grocery? Rolling Eyes

amother

Thu, Mar 19 2015, 4:53 pm

Shabbos Robes are exactly that SHABBOS ROBES. I have to prepare and serve a 6 course meal and eat fish and chulent in it. Yes, going on the street does not require all this messing with food. What is wrong with wearing an beautiful SHABBOS ROBE that is also easily washable and practical?? If I would be a queen, being served, perhaps....but since I am also the butler, maid, nanny, judge to childrens fights, pampering between too, nursing as necessary etc. etc. MY SHABBOS ROBE IS PERFECT! AND IS A KAVOD FOR THE SHABBOS!
Perhaps some husbands don't get it....

Kitten

Thu, Mar 19 2015, 4:55 pm

imaima wrote:

Obviously, those with tons of fancy beading are different, but a plain old black velvet gown with just lace here and there screams "I am too lazy to dress up, besides I am also covering up my fat rolls".

I have an old plain black dress with a bit of lace. I've had it for over 10 years and wore it maybe 100 times, to shul, chasunas or just staying home Friday night. I still get many compliments and think it looks really chic. Simple things can be very elegant. It depends on your overall look. The same simple black dress/gown/robe can look totally different with a stretched out turban and worn out slippers, and with a nice sheitel/tichel and real shoes.

Rutabaga

Thu, Mar 19 2015, 4:56 pm

Kitten wrote:

True story:

My parents have friends who enjoy taking cruises. They often book last minute and get great discounts. Anyway, the first time they went on a cruise they were unaware that some cruise lines have formal dinner wear nights. This wouldn't be a problem for most people who don't want to dress up - they can just avoid the main dining room on those nights by eating elsewhere on the ship. However, people with special dietary requirements (such as kosher food) are only served in the main dining room. So this woman was stuck needing to go to the main dining room but not having anything fancy to wear. Then she had a brainstorm - she could wear her robe! And that's what she did. She said that other than showing less skin, her robe was not so different than the gowns the other women were wearing.

rosehill

Thu, Mar 19 2015, 5:06 pm

imaima wrote:

Hey, don't knock it. That's a major fashion philosophy for me.

animeme

Thu, Mar 19 2015, 5:17 pm

amother wrote:

What's wrong with washable Shabbos clothes?

There are several "robe" styles, including the sleeveless ones, that could easily be Shabbos dresses if the society you live in would allow them to be. Nothing wrong with saying, "I like to dress in comfy Shabbos clothes instead of dry clean stiffer ones when serving/taking care of kids. Of course, this could also apply when handing out Popsicles in the back or front yard or spoon feeding a baby in the park, so why not wear those same comfy Shabbos clothes?

watergirl

Thu, Mar 19 2015, 5:58 pm

gp2.0 wrote:

Rabbi Dovid Meisels writes that girls and women shouldn't eat at the shabbos table wearing robes?

We don't hold by what he says - this is just my husbands "proof" of his opinion (for his family, which I happen to agree with) Here is what Rabbi Meisels wrote in his book (its on page 29 for those who want to check). "Many young women today wear a robe and slippers while kindling the Shabbos lights and during the meals, thinking that they are honoring the Shabbos. They are making a mistake. A robe and slippers are not malbushei kavod, elegant clothes that a woman wears in public or at a formal function or wedding. It certainly is not the proper attire for welcoming Shabbos and the honored guest, the holy Shechinah. When lighting the Shabbos candles and during the Shabbos meals, a woman should wear dignified clothes and jewelry, the way jewish woman have done throughout the ages. ..... dressing in a robe and slippers, in a way that is more concerned with our own comfort, completely misses the point - for it does not add to the holiness of Shabbos"

Now, obviously he is a man and doesn't understand the point that was made a few posts up that its very hard to be maid/butler/chef/nanny all in fancy Shabbos clothes. The reason I brought in his opinion is that while its true that there are special fancy robes just for Shabbos, its not something that you would wear to a function.

Point being that (I feel) one should wear something on Shabbos to the table that would be worn at any function. Wearing something that you would never wear to a function diminishes the kavod to the Shabbos table.

gp2.0

Thu, Mar 19 2015, 6:09 pm

watergirl wrote:

Very interesting, thanks.

pause

Thu, Mar 19 2015, 6:16 pm

animeme wrote:

What exactly is the difference between a washable Shabbas robe and washable Shabbas clothes???? My washable Shabbas robe is my washable Shabbas clothes!!! My non-washable Shabbas clothes I wear when I go to shul.