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RANT: Yeshiva High Schools Rising Tuitions...



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Do YOU Receive Scholarship For your High School Child?
No BH we are able to cover all our expenses  
 31%  [ 10 ]
Yes we receive FULL Scholarship  
 3%  [ 1 ]
Yes we are on partial scholarship  
 46%  [ 15 ]
Our child goes to public high school because tuition is exorbitant  
 18%  [ 6 ]
Total Votes : 32



amother
Teal


 

Post Mon, Mar 23 2015, 10:45 am
I have been in education for over 30 years and I have seen various changes over the years in the Jewish Day School sector but NEVER have I seen tuition hikes like the past five years.

I have 3 children and have gratefully received high school scholarships for my first two children. The process was demeaning, humiliating and soul crushing. My husband and I felt completely exposed and naked as we sat at a table and discussed our meager finances and our dire need for assistance with basic tuition.

We lead very peaceful and simple lives. We never complain and we instill a sense of gratitude to hashem in our children for having all our basic needs met.

We do not go to movies, out to dinner, get fancy haircuts, buy fancy clothing, go on exotic vacations. Our expenses include: the kosher food store, local market and Target. That’s it. We are two middle income full time working parents working hard to hold on to our little slice of pie.

WHY are we made to feel like garbage because we cannot afford to pay $32,000 a year for HIGH SCHOOL—I am NOT discussing Harvard or Yale or Columbia University… I am referring to basic yeshiva high school.

Our youngest applied to 3 high schools and desperately wanted to go to the very modern, very progressive co-ed yeshiva high school where his sister went. He said it felt more like family as opposed to school. I understand that and despite my misgivings we applied. My son is an A student (except for math he receives a B average) He is in honors Gemara, English, History and is a black belt in karate. He is quiet, soft spoken and not a discipline issue.

He was heart broken to learn he was wait listed for the #1 school of his choice. Which translates as he didn’t get in. He received BH excellent scholarships to two other yeshiva- both all boy school and we are extremely grateful and humbled to receive the support.

However, he is devastated.

He really believes the co-ed school will better meet his needs because they are very warm, loving and nurturing of every child’s talents and gifts. He feels the other 2 schools are too big.

I totally get it.

I am the schmoozer in our family. My husband is more of an introvert.

I called the school to ask what happened and they explained they received 120 applicants for 60 spots, they had to make some tough choices. Yes, in my humble opinion, the choices were to run the school like a business and only select children that can pay full tuition. They are in the middle of building a beautiful state of the art building and they don’t need less affluent families dragging them down. It feels like our son is being penalized for our finances.

The HOS suggested in an essay he published that everyone remortgage their homes and give 1% of their million dollar homes to cover the cost of tuition. Guess what Rabbi S. Our home is not worth one million dollars. We live in a comfortable, modest home and we are grateful to cover our expenses in much.

QUESTION: Do I write a letter to HOS explaining my disgust that the yeshiva has lost it’s soul and it’s time to reach out and help some ordinary families in need and stop running the school like a business.

OR just simply let it go.

It is hard for me to sit back and passively watch the disintegration of our Jewish schools from nurturing places of learning and exploration and nourishment to cold impassionate businesses.

What would you do?
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saw50st8




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 23 2015, 10:54 am
I wouldn't admit your disgust. If your son would in any way manage to get in, this would be the nail in the coffin to turn him away. There may be other opportunities for him to get in at a later date.

What I would do is have your son write a letter to the head of school explaining why he wants to go to that school. He should write about the fact that he has acceptance to two other programs so it's not a matter of being desperate to get in, rather of thinking it's a school that fits him much better than the other places and will nurture his spiritual, emotional and physical self. Send it in and then follow up with a phone call.

Space is really an issue in many places.
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amother
Teal


 

Post Mon, Mar 23 2015, 10:56 am
I Totally agree and told my son to do that 2 weeks ago but he declined... maybe telling him others agree wight he suggestion will help push him to reconsider...
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amother
Fuchsia


 

Post Mon, Mar 23 2015, 11:05 am
What makes you think that they waitlisted your child because you can't pay full tuition?

A full 50% of applicants were rejected.

The school made tough decisions, and one of those decisions was that your kid wouldn't fit in as well as other kids who were accepted. You had "misgivings" about the school. Let me guess. Its not really your hashkafa. But the school is evil for perhaps choosing to accept students whose parents don't have "misgivings" about it before those who do.

As to suggesting that people who live in million dollar homes donate $10,000 towards a scholarship fund -- do you really think that's so outrageous? He didn't say everyone had to, or that people living more modestly should donate large sums. Let's be real. If the people who have it don't donate, your kids are out of school, as there will be no scholarship funds.

FTR, we received financial assistance because of my husband's medical issues. We never had to appear; it was all by letter. I didn't find it soul crushing. It is what it is. No one is forking over thousands of dollars just because I say we need it. We have to fill out FAFSA and MASA too.
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ValleyMom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 23 2015, 11:10 am
She said her daughter went to the school.
Most schools accept siblings.

My friend in SF has her son at The Urban School and her daughter applied this year and she was wait listed.

Her daughter finally got in Friday morning.

The final paper work was due two hours later.
Her husband needed to take the day off to deal with all the paperwork.

WHY didn't they accept her weeks ago like all the other children?

Because they require financial aid.

It's not just the Jewish schools- this craziness is in all private schools.
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nyer1




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 23 2015, 11:11 am
you're bringing up two different issues.
yes, the cost of tuition is crazy, but I really don't think that your son not being accepted has anything do do with it. I'm not in that parsha yet of applying to high schools, but it sounds like they had a lot of applicants, not a lot of spots. I don't know what the criteria is for the school, but it's very possible that your son just didn't make the cut, and that is a disappointment that should be used gracefully as a lesson necessary to learn - there are disappointments in life, you won't always get the school you want, you won't always get the job you want.

I'm not sure if it's a 'need blind' school or not… meaning, does the application committee sit with the scholarship committee when making the decisions? in most schools, this isn't (and shouldn't!) be the case.
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amother
Fuchsia


 

Post Mon, Mar 23 2015, 11:16 am
ValleyMom wrote:
She said her daughter went to the school.
Most schools accept siblings.

My friend in SF has her son at The Urban School and her daughter applied this year and she was wait listed.

Her daughter finally got in Friday morning.

The final paper work was due two hours later.
Her husband needed to take the day off to deal with all the paperwork.

WHY didn't they accept her weeks ago like all the other children?

Because they require financial aid.

It's not just the Jewish schools- this craziness is in all private schools.


We know, and know of, plenty of siblings not accepted to Jewish high schools, where the parents pay full tuition.
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ValleyMom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 23 2015, 11:19 am
And FYI schools do looks at grades as well as personal finances and personality.

I know for a fact- I'm in the field Jewish education.

And the scholarship process is hideous.

I am not the weepy type but ultimately I dissolved into tears when the man interviewing us said "Sending your son to yeshiva in israel is a luxury. Keep him home. Send him to community college and use that money to cover tuition costs."

Then he continued to explain that it's not that he doesn't love Israel. He loves Israel. In fact his son's Bar Mitzvah will be there in three weeks... Which he realized may have been a slight faux pas as we were sitting in front of him groveling for financial assistance.

(Mind you, I'm very happy for him that his family BM is in Israel- but did he really need to share that news as I am quietly wiping my tears with a tissue?)

As it turns out that was his last year on the scholarship committee.
I imagine he made many families uncomfortable.
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amother
Fuchsia


 

Post Mon, Mar 23 2015, 11:34 am
ValleyMom wrote:
And FYI schools do looks at grades as well as personal finances and personality.

I know for a fact- I'm in the field Jewish education.

And the scholarship process is hideous.

I am not the weepy type but ultimately I dissolved into tears when the man interviewing us said "Sending your son to yeshiva in israel is a luxury. Keep him home. Send him to community college and use that money to cover tuition costs."

Then he continued to explain that it's not that he doesn't love Israel. He loves Israel. In fact his son's Bar Mitzvah will be there in three weeks... Which he realized may have been a slight faux pas as we were sitting in front of him groveling for financial assistance.

(Mind you, I'm very happy for him that his family BM is in Israel- but did he really need to share that news as I am quietly wiping my tears with a tissue?)

As it turns out that was his last year on the scholarship committee.
I imagine he made many families uncomfortable.


So, the applications at your schools include financial questions?

Interesting. At MO schools, they don't. So while a school might be aware that older siblings had requested aid, they would have no clue about new applicants. Making it unlikely that they would reject one applicant who needed aid, since one accepted in his stead might well need aid as well.

Anon to provide consistency.
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granolamom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 23 2015, 3:18 pm
my eight grade ds recently applied to a MO school and I'm pretty sure the application did ask if we would be requesting financial assistance. my memory's a bit messed up due to pre pesach stress so I wont swear to it, but I'm pretty sure I'm remembering that right. fwiw, the more RW yeshiva he applied to also asked.
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ValleyMom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 23 2015, 3:50 pm
Many schools have a box on the application to check IF you will be going through the financial aid process. EVEN the Urban School in SF.

After the initial paperwork is submitted, from the candidate as well as the elementary school an interveiw is arranged.

After that then the financial craziness begins.

I think it's great that so many people can shell out that much money a year for tuition and maintain a home and living expenses.
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ValleyMom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 23 2015, 3:51 pm
intervIEw sorry for the typo-
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amother
Forestgreen


 

Post Fri, Mar 27 2015, 6:59 am
amother wrote:
Yes, in my humble opinion, the choices were to run the school like a business and only select children that can pay full tuition.



OP, I feel for you and understand you. I've been in your position and it's so difficult. I'm sorry you're going through this.

At the same time, my husband teaches in a school that is NOT run like a business. It's a school for at risk youth that takes in anyone and anyone no matter what they can pay because they feel a need to save these boys.
My husband hasn't been paid in months. Pesach is coming.
I'm proud of his work but sometimes I really wish the school school was run more like a business.
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