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Did you make it financially? Couples starting off broke.



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amother
cornflower


 

Post Tue, Mar 24 2015, 9:29 am
I am curious if there are people out there who started with very little or basically nothing when they got married and they achieved financial freedom ( I know it means different things to different people.. I mean no debt, own property and life off income from investments in real state or stocks.... we are slowly learning to budget and I read Dave Ramsey s books and all... and I wonder ...I guess I am looking for hope and inspiration..

amother because some people know who I am and I don't feel comfortable sharing these details on financial life and all
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miami85




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 24 2015, 10:04 am
Just curious as to how you define "nothing"--does parental help while earning a degree count?
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amother
Azure


 

Post Tue, Mar 24 2015, 10:12 am
amother wrote:
I am curious if there are people out there who started with very little or basically nothing when they got married and they achieved financial freedom ( I know it means different things to different people.. I mean no debt, own property and life off income from investments in real state or stocks.... we are slowly learning to budget and I read Dave Ramsey s books and all... and I wonder ...I guess I am looking for hope and inspiration..

amother because some people know who I am and I don't feel comfortable sharing these details on financial life and all


We aren't there yet, no, and I'm not sure I even see (all) those things as a goal.
But Hashem always gets us through the month somehow.
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amother
Hotpink


 

Post Tue, Mar 24 2015, 10:27 am
amother wrote:
I am curious if there are people out there who started with very little or basically nothing when they got married and they achieved financial freedom ( I know it means different things to different people.. I mean no debt, own property and life off income from investments in real state or stocks.... we are slowly learning to budget and I read Dave Ramsey s books and all... and I wonder ...I guess I am looking for hope and inspiration..

amother because some people know who I am and I don't feel comfortable sharing these details on financial life and all


We started out with nothing and now we are debt free. We could live off the money we have and BH we both can work and we enjoy our jobs. We also have enough money set aside our children can coast. They should never know what it is like to struggle.
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amother
Powderblue


 

Post Tue, Mar 24 2015, 10:28 am
We're not there yet, but we're getting ready to buy a house after the summer. We both started off with nothing besides for our wedding money, since we were paying tuition out of pocket. We both worked and went to school, and were able to put away a few hundred dollars a month, which adds up. We're married three years now, and my husband just started working with his degree, and we should be all set for a house soon. If you spend carefully and stay motivated it should be doable.
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amother
Seafoam


 

Post Tue, Mar 24 2015, 10:57 am
realistically I'm not sure how many people can "life off income from investments in real state or stocks" regardless if they got help or not. When you say no debt does that include student loans, mortgage etc.. because again I think there are plenty of people who are in a good financial place who have those type of loans. Credit card debt on the other hand....
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amother
Ginger


 

Post Tue, Mar 24 2015, 11:08 am
amother wrote:
I am curious if there are people out there who started with very little or basically nothing when they got married and they achieved financial freedom ( I know it means different things to different people.. I mean no debt, own property and life off income from investments in real state or stocks.... we are slowly learning to budget and I read Dave Ramsey s books and all... and I wonder ...I guess I am looking for hope and inspiration..

amother because some people know who I am and I don't feel comfortable sharing these details on financial life and all


When we got married, we had major credit card debt, and no jobs. We didn't get any government aid or parental help. Now, 10 years later, we have significantly reduced our credit card debt, we both have jobs, we own a home, and all of this was done without any help. Financial stability and freedom is very possible, it just takes hard work, patience, and time. Good Luck to you and all your endeavors!
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SRS




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 24 2015, 11:25 am
People can start off with more or less, but the process of getting to a better financial position is the same. You have to be frugal and disciplined.
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Sherri




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 24 2015, 11:47 am
If you are looking for support, check out Facebook for Dave Ramsey groups.
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jkw




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 25 2015, 9:16 pm
still the best -- http://kosheronabudget.com/cat.....tory/
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amother
Burlywood


 

Post Wed, Mar 25 2015, 9:51 pm
We're only married four years and we're not there yet (or even close) but we started out with literally NOTHING. For first few months we lived off our wedding money (about 10k) while dh was looking for a job and I was in school. Now dh works full time, I work part time, and we bh have zero debt and are relatively ok. We don't have extra money or any major savings, but we have enough for what we need plus some extras, and hopefully our salaries will grow iyh. To be honest, it's very stressful knowing that we have nothing and no one to fall back on if we get stuck, especially since it seems like most of our friends get help from their parents. I guess that's where relying on Hashem comes in. But it's definitely doable and I do feel a sense of pride that we never took money from anyone since day one.
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amother
Indigo


 

Post Wed, Mar 25 2015, 9:56 pm
We got married almost six years ago. Dh was out of a job. I made 10 an hour part time. I had 10k in savings. He had zero and a lot of credit card debt. Bh he found a job about six months later and we paid off all his debt. Bh we are on our second house. We went far out and just built a house. (Its big 3k square feet, 6 bedrooms)
We r not rolling in dough but bh can afford what we need.
edited to say...we were not financially supported but supported in lots of other ways!
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amother
Royalblue


 

Post Wed, Mar 25 2015, 10:40 pm
I'm not sure we meet your criteria of "nothing" nor of "making it" but I think we are doing OK... we never had "support" but we have had various kind favors.

When we got married I had a pre-professional job and was one semester short of my full professional qualification. I went to city college that was very cheap but even so my parents paid my tuition including the semester that I still had left after getting married. DH was in a kollel that had a stipend but on the small side, even for kollel - a few hundred a month. DH had been dorming for several years so he came with some minimal small appliances and housewares, and my parents paid for most of the other basics needed to set up house - we did stick to the basics (e.g. one set of linens, washed and put right back on, no guests) and I also did have savings from my job because I was living at home with few expenses, so I was prepared to pay for those things if my parents hadn't been able or willing to (I still suspect that they weren't so able, but they did it anyway so I just did my best to be economical)

We received over $10,000 in wedding gifts but that went straight into a savings account and we didn't touch it. We knew we weren't financially stable enough to invest it as we needed it accessible just in case, but we were not going to use it for regular expenses unless a true emergency came up (which indeed happened when I was out of work for a couple of months, but B"H by that time we had put away some more and made up for it very quickly) My job and DH's kollel stipend were enough to cover our food expenses and the rent for our very small furnished basement apartment. We signed up for Family Health Plus.

By the time the baby came I was out of college and had a better job and more time to spend both at work and at home.

Two children later we were managing about the same way but: I found that I was not able to make the leap to a higher-level, full-time job while also having any time or energy left for mothering at all. It made me sad. With one baby, I could spend time with him at night after work, let him sleep more at the sitter. But he was already older and then there were two and that didn't work out as well. So I was working part time, we were on medicaid, WIC, and food stamps, and still managing all right but we started to realize that this is not going to be sustainable. We don't want to be on government programs forever, that was never the plan because I was supposed to work full time like half the mothers I know but didn't realize how hard it was. We still hadn't touched our savings which consisted of the wedding gifts plus a couple hundred I had left over every month for the first year or so when we were living super cheaply and didn't have childcare expenses yet. But we were hovering on that brink, just barely meeting our expenses and already seeing how they were about to grow. And I knew that it was a very very short trip from dipping into our own savings and needing to borrow from others, and I didn't want to go anywhere near there.

DH had already been trying to find work here and there in kodesh areas but it wasn't very promising. There were offers to move to better kollels but that didn't feel like a real solution. So he started college at the age of almost-thirty. Between our financial situation and good academic standing he received enough in scholarships to cover his full tuition. He did not go for a quick and easy BTL because he didn't really want any job you could do with it (what is that, anyway? Try to get into law school? Not so fun) So now he is about halfway through.

We have no more kollel stipend and I could not take on more work (tried it for some time, mental health toll not worth it) because life at home got harder with DH in college full time (fact: even serious kollel students have a relatively family-friendly schedule and a significant amount of flexibility for things like kids staying home sick. This particular kollel student also didn't have a commute, and now he has a significant one) We are getting about 50% tuition discount, our kids wear hand-me-downs, and a kind relative sends generous gifts from time to time. We are still on medicaid, food stamps, and the kids get WIC. Still, we are kind of straddling that red line between using income and using savings. Our savings are slowly shrinking, B"H not precipitously but mostly because we had saved a significant amount before the slide started. But it no longer seems as dangerous because it is definitely a limited thing, just until DH graduates and can hopefully get a job, he probably won't make much at first but maybe we can get on our feet and replenish our savings so we'll be in a less depressed state while he goes for a higher degree that can get him a more respectable job.

So I consider us as having started with very little and basically making it, but not really making it. We are making it because we aren't in debt, we aren't begging for charity, we aren't starving or in rags. on the other hand we're on government programs, accepting help from relatives that I would normally be too embarrassed to, our life is very stressful, and I can't see the future ever being really great. Definitely better than this, but the more I look at the numbers the more it seems we will never have any luxuries and I have no idea how we will do things like marry off children or - scarier because sooner - make a bar mitzvah no matter how humble.

I would love to know how in 6 years amother above went from $10 an hour part time plus "a lot" of credit card debt, to owning a large house.
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amother
Aqua


 

Post Wed, Mar 25 2015, 11:04 pm
We started off with nothing but a few thousand in wedding gifts, we both used all our money to help pay for essentials before wedding, no luxuries.
Only support we ever had was shabbos meals until first was born and then a few yomim tovim. We've been making our own since about 3 years after getting married, including Peasch.
We worked hard and saved and BH bought a house. We watched every penny and dollar to do so.
As the years went by, kids grew, expenses grew more, jobs downsized, some health issues and now we don't cover at all. We're in major debt.
We both started looking for new lines of work while working and now it looks like it'll will pick up again soon B'eh.

We never had extra money, but BH we have a house that's appreciated a lot.

I feel like I'm on a hamster wheel, no matter how hard we work, bills are too high!
Tuition is a killer, elementary is Ok, High school starts getting higher and then we get to Yeshiva Gedola and Seminary and Weddings, while trying to pay for everyday bills. Clothing? shaitels? camp? vacation? forget about it!
The way I see it at this point, we need about $500,000 a year to say we "made it"!!

Once the kids are grown, we can sell the house to say we made it!

My opinions and solutions:
Daven well and remember, no matter what you do, where you come from, it's not up to us, we only need to do our best.
The way I see it, saving when newly married is very important as bills only grow.
Trying to get into good job markets, although it's tough to figure what it'll be a few years down the line, things change.
Have generous, wealthy parents or in-laws or both. (the kind that give generously without judgement- let me know where to sign up when you find them!)
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amother
Indigo


 

Post Thu, Mar 26 2015, 3:20 pm
amother wrote:
I'm not sure we meet your criteria of "nothing" nor of "making it" but I think we are doing OK... we never had "support" but we have had various kind favors.

When we got married I had a pre-professional job and was one semester short of my full professional qualification. I went to city college that was very cheap but even so my parents paid my tuition including the semester that I still had left after getting married. DH was in a kollel that had a stipend but on the small side, even for kollel - a few hundred a month. DH had been dorming for several years so he came with some minimal small appliances and housewares, and my parents paid for most of the other basics needed to set up house - we did stick to the basics (e.g. one set of linens, washed and put right back on, no guests) and I also did have savings from my job because I was living at home with few expenses, so I was prepared to pay for those things if my parents hadn't been able or willing to (I still suspect that they weren't so able, but they did it anyway so I just did my best to be economical)

We received over $10,000 in wedding gifts but that went straight into a savings account and we didn't touch it. We knew we weren't financially stable enough to invest it as we needed it accessible just in case, but we were not going to use it for regular expenses unless a true emergency came up (which indeed happened when I was out of work for a couple of months, but B"H by that time we had put away some more and made up for it very quickly) My job and DH's kollel stipend were enough to cover our food expenses and the rent for our very small furnished basement apartment. We signed up for Family Health Plus.

By the time the baby came I was out of college and had a better job and more time to spend both at work and at home.

Two children later we were managing about the same way but: I found that I was not able to make the leap to a higher-level, full-time job while also having any time or energy left for mothering at all. It made me sad. With one baby, I could spend time with him at night after work, let him sleep more at the sitter. But he was already older and then there were two and that didn't work out as well. So I was working part time, we were on medicaid, WIC, and food stamps, and still managing all right but we started to realize that this is not going to be sustainable. We don't want to be on government programs forever, that was never the plan because I was supposed to work full time like half the mothers I know but didn't realize how hard it was. We still hadn't touched our savings which consisted of the wedding gifts plus a couple hundred I had left over every month for the first year or so when we were living super cheaply and didn't have childcare expenses yet. But we were hovering on that brink, just barely meeting our expenses and already seeing how they were about to grow. And I knew that it was a very very short trip from dipping into our own savings and needing to borrow from others, and I didn't want to go anywhere near there.

DH had already been trying to find work here and there in kodesh areas but it wasn't very promising. There were offers to move to better kollels but that didn't feel like a real solution. So he started college at the age of almost-thirty. Between our financial situation and good academic standing he received enough in scholarships to cover his full tuition. He did not go for a quick and easy BTL because he didn't really want any job you could do with it (what is that, anyway? Try to get into law school? Not so fun) So now he is about halfway through.

We have no more kollel stipend and I could not take on more work (tried it for some time, mental health toll not worth it) because life at home got harder with DH in college full time (fact: even serious kollel students have a relatively family-friendly schedule and a significant amount of flexibility for things like kids staying home sick. This particular kollel student also didn't have a commute, and now he has a significant one) We are getting about 50% tuition discount, our kids wear hand-me-downs, and a kind relative sends generous gifts from time to time. We are still on medicaid, food stamps, and the kids get WIC. Still, we are kind of straddling that red line between using income and using savings. Our savings are slowly shrinking, B"H not precipitously but mostly because we had saved a significant amount before the slide started. But it no longer seems as dangerous because it is definitely a limited thing, just until DH graduates and can hopefully get a job, he probably won't make much at first but maybe we can get on our feet and replenish our savings so we'll be in a less depressed state while he goes for a higher degree that can get him a more respectable job.

So I consider us as having started with very little and basically making it, but not really making it. We are making it because we aren't in debt, we aren't begging for charity, we aren't starving or in rags. on the other hand we're on government programs, accepting help from relatives that I would normally be too embarrassed to, our life is very stressful, and I can't see the future ever being really great. Definitely better than this, but the more I look at the numbers the more it seems we will never have any luxuries and I have no idea how we will do things like marry off children or - scarier because sooner - make a bar mitzvah no matter how humble.

I would love to know how in 6 years amother above went from $10 an hour part time plus "a lot" of credit card debt, to owning a large house.


I am amother above you. I got married making very little. $10 an hour part time. Dh not wotking. I was very very on top of making sure dh took care of the debt. (A lot of it was a favor he did for someone and they just never paid it off). We made a schedule and made a monthly amount we would put into it and the other person. Bh it worked and after about a year it was donr. Jn the meantime my credit was good and dh worked on his. He also got a a job starting at 45k at and I changed jobs to a full time...still not making a lot but everything helps. We bought a house with a cosigber and put a tenant in so it cost us less than an apt. Dh bh got a raise to about 95k aftwr a bout five years on the job and I made about 30k. We sold our house...lived with family for a while, while our house was being built. We got a steal of a deal but its far out and we love it. I am going to get a tenant in the house as well and it will hopefully cost as much as the old one without the tenant.
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amother
Royalblue


 

Post Thu, Mar 26 2015, 9:37 pm
Slightly off topic but in what field can you get raised from 45k to 95k without getting another degree in between??
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amother
Crimson


 

Post Thu, Mar 26 2015, 10:06 pm
My husband went from nothing to owning a big service business that didn't need any investment money to start.

I'm confused as to why you think people who start out with nothing can't work themselves up and move up the ladder in whatever field they're in.
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amother
Indigo


 

Post Fri, Mar 27 2015, 12:29 am
amother wrote:
Slightly off topic but in what field can you get raised from 45k to 95k without getting another degree in between??

don't want to identify myself at all but dh has no college degree at all. The reason why he got such big raises is because he brought more business into the business and gets a split.
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