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Public School
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amother
Orange


 

Post Tue, Mar 24 2015, 9:31 am
I am seriously doubting that the Yeshiva that my 4 year old currently attends is going to give him a great education and foundation for all his future studies. The other Jewish alternatives would require him to travel for 30 minutes plus each way which I don't think is fair for a little kid to have to go through every day. Therefore we decided to put him in the local public school for next year. This school is one of the top in the state, they have an excellent curriculum, and the kids are incredibly well behaved.
Does anyone else send their kid/s to public school? Just looking to get some feedback. Please no bashing.
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momX4




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 24 2015, 9:45 am
A 30 minute bus ride isnt bad at all. My kids used to be on the bus for about an hour.
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Notsobusy




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 24 2015, 11:52 am
I agree with momx4, my kids are on the bus for a half hour to get to a school that's a seven minute drive from my house. I think here the routes are allowed to be 45 minutes long. I don't think you should let the bus ride be the deciding factor. My kids actually have a great time on the bus.
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 24 2015, 11:58 am
if your only reason is travel time ... well it's sort of silly

there was a public school on my corner & yet we traveled with a city bus & 2 trains to get to a jewish school

if it's because of educational issues - that is another story
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amother
Orange


 

Post Tue, Mar 24 2015, 12:08 pm
Let me clarify, the school is half an hour by car if I would drive straight from my house, it's about 20 miles. He would be on the bus for a MINIMUM of an hour, even more if there is traffic, an accident, etc. If he needs to go to the bathroom, well, too bad. If he falls asleep, there goes his 630 bedtime which he'll need in order to wake up in time to catch the bus. If he gets sick, I would need to miss work for the rest of the day in order to get him. It's not practical and its not the life I want for him when he's 5. I would definitely reevaluate when he's older.
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Notsobusy




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 24 2015, 12:36 pm
That does change things, an hour or more is very long for a four year old. Good luck on making a decision.
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 24 2015, 12:54 pm
op you sound all set in your decision

so what is it you're asking ?
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amother
Rose


 

Post Tue, Mar 24 2015, 1:00 pm
amother wrote:
Let me clarify, the school is half an hour by car if I would drive straight from my house, it's about 20 miles. He would be on the bus for a MINIMUM of an hour, even more if there is traffic, an accident, etc. If he needs to go to the bathroom, well, too bad. If he falls asleep, there goes his 630 bedtime which he'll need in order to wake up in time to catch the bus. If he gets sick, I would need to miss work for the rest of the day in order to get him. It's not practical and its not the life I want for him when he's 5. I would definitely reevaluate when he's older.


It is impossible to catch up once you put him in public school. 6 is too late. They never get the foundation the other kids have. I am speaking from experience.
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geulah papyrus




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 24 2015, 1:02 pm
years ago I had to make a similar decision.
I put my children in public school and haven't looked back.
my kids are doing wonderfully. the quality of education cannot be beat, the teachers are required to have advanced degrees and have studied pedagogy. as a public school teacher from a family of teachers, I do not regret my decision at all. there is no reason why you cannot adequately and successfully supplement their education with jewish studies. I wish you the best of luck!
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amother
Rose


 

Post Tue, Mar 24 2015, 1:21 pm
geulah papyrus wrote:
years ago I had to make a similar decision.
I put my children in public school and haven't looked back.
my kids are doing wonderfully. the quality of education cannot be beat, the teachers are required to have advanced degrees and have studied pedagogy. as a public school teacher from a family of teachers, I do not regret my decision at all. there is no reason why you cannot adequately and successfully supplement their education with jewish studies. I wish you the best of luck!


It depends on what you value. If you value a good secular education then you are correct. If you value the forming of a frum mind, then you are not correct.

I went to public school while my siblings went to yeshiva. I am formed different. The teachers and students are not all frum. I was exposed to things that I was better not exposed to at a young age.
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anon for this




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 24 2015, 3:10 pm
amother wrote:
It is impossible to catch up once you put him in public school. 6 is too late. They never get the foundation the other kids have. I am speaking from experience.


My daughter spent 2.5 preschool years in a local public school program for children with special needs. When she was almost 6 she started Pre1a (kindergarten) in a Jewish school. Thanks to the years of quality therapy she received in public school, she's doing well now socially and is a good student in both kodesh and secular classes B"H. I really doubt that, if you compared her to her peers, you'd see a difference in her frum mind.
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amother
Rose


 

Post Tue, Mar 24 2015, 3:57 pm
anon for this wrote:
My daughter spent 2.5 preschool years in a local public school program for children with special needs. When she was almost 6 she started Pre1a (kindergarten) in a Jewish school. Thanks to the years of quality therapy she received in public school, she's doing well now socially and is a good student in both kodesh and secular classes B"H. I really doubt that, if you compared her to her peers, you'd see a difference in her frum mind.


I don't know because she started out behind. My kids went to public school until they were almost finished first grade. They lack the foundations the other kids have. It is more noticeable in the males because their curriculum is more vigorous.

They can never catch up. My son has been tested genius level. He has been doing college level secular work since the fourth grade when he was first tested. I have given him daily tutors for Hebrew studies for years. I spend more on tutors than I do his tuition. He still lacks something in his foundation.

There is something about how a child is formed in their formative years that you can't change.
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geulah papyrus




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 24 2015, 4:09 pm
amother wrote:
It depends on what you value. If you value a good secular education then you are correct. If you value the forming of a frum mind, then you are not correct.

I went to public school while my siblings went to yeshiva. I am formed different. The teachers and students are not all frum. I was exposed to things that I was better not exposed to at a young age.



if that's the case, I guess I'm wearing my values openly on my sleeve.
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Barbara




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 24 2015, 4:21 pm
amother wrote:
I don't know because she started out behind. My kids went to public school until they were almost finished first grade. They lack the foundations the other kids have. It is more noticeable in the males because their curriculum is more vigorous.

They can never catch up. My son has been tested genius level. He has been doing college level secular work since the fourth grade when he was first tested. I have given him daily tutors for Hebrew studies for years. I spend more on tutors than I do his tuition. He still lacks something in his foundation.

There is something about how a child is formed in their formative years that you can't change.


Have you had your children tested for learning differences?

We know children who attended public school for years who successfully integrated into Jewish schools. A child who, with the type of intensive support that you describe, is unable to overcome having missed part of first grade, well, something else is going on. Particularly if he was able to do college-level work in 4th grade, presumably without intensive tutoring to do so. The term is twice-gifted -- very smart, with learning differences.
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Ema of 5




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 24 2015, 4:28 pm
amother wrote:
I don't know because she started out behind. My kids went to public school until they were almost finished first grade. They lack the foundations the other kids have. It is more noticeable in the males because their curriculum is more vigorous.

They can never catch up. My son has been tested genius level. He has been doing college level secular work since the fourth grade when he was first tested. I have given him daily tutors for Hebrew studies for years. I spend more on tutors than I do his tuition. He still lacks something in his foundation.

There is something about how a child is formed in their formative years that you can't change.

My son was in an EI program for three years. He went to yeahiva for the first time in Pre-1A. He's not lacking anything and in fact, is one of the top in his class. It's all about supplementing. If YOU the parent give him a foundation at home (which every parent should be doing anyway, no matter where they send their kids to school) then they won't be lacking. I did parsha projects, yom Tov projects, etc with my son until he went to yeahiva. The year before Pre-1A I called the school we would be sending him to and asked what he would need to know and then hired a morah to make sure he really knew it. She taught him alef Bais using the same curriculum she used in school for her own boys going into Pre-1A so he really wasn't lacking AT ALL. At the end of the day it's all about the parents.
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rockingbells




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 24 2015, 5:00 pm
IMO if you value the formation of a "frum mind," try your best to raise your children in a home filled with shalom, torah, and mitzvos. Show them ahavas yisrael, teach them chessed...

Every kid is different, every school is different, every scenario pans out differently..

I have seen frum children sent to public school turn out great (and not behind!).. I have seen frum children sent to cheder come out disconnected. I've seen it happen the other way around, too.

If you believe sending your child to public school would be best for them.. and that is why you make the decision.. I think you'll all, with G-ds help, be fine.
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amother
Papaya


 

Post Tue, Mar 24 2015, 5:16 pm
One of my kids is in a non jewish school because of learning disabilities. There's no local frum option even remotely suitable because he's a more serious case. Anyhow, the supplemental jewish program we've put together with tutors pales in comparison to what my other kids are doing. But we have no choice other than to relocate states away. Seriously, if you think that what your kid will be learning with a rebbe or judaics tutor after 4pm every day and on Sundays is close to what they receive in a frum school, you're wrong.

Again, I did make this choice for one of my kids so I get it - sometimes it's still the better option. But do not fool yourself into thinking that your jewish home plus a few hrs of judaics tutoring a week will keep your kid on par with their peers in a yeshiva.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 24 2015, 5:20 pm
It is so complicated! I hear all sides of the issue, and I've had to make the same decision. Believe me, I cried and davened SO hard over it.

B'H DD ended up in a wonderful public elementary school with some Jewish teachers who took her under their wing. She really thrived there, after failing two Jewish schools. She was so frustrated that she was actually starting to hate yiddishkeit, but at the public school she became very proud of her heritage.

We worked extra hard at home to reinforce our values and to supplement her Jewish education. I'm not going to pretend that she's not lacking in Jewish studies, because she is behind the kids in day school.

There's only so many hours in the day, and she struggles with some secular studies as well. At least in the public school she has a full IEP, and gets the individual attention she needs.

Middle school (6th grade) was a whole different ball game. She's dropped out, and will be doing home based education through the district. The new school was HORRIBLE and completely inappropriate for a frum girl. The school tried really hard to help her, and I don't fault them, but the students she interacted with were wild beasts. She just couldn't learn with all the craziness going on.

Best of luck with this difficult decision, and may Hashem send you lots of clarity and a good outcome!
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amother
Rose


 

Post Tue, Mar 24 2015, 5:35 pm
Barbara wrote:
Have you had your children tested for learning differences?

We know children who attended public school for years who successfully integrated into Jewish schools. A child who, with the type of intensive support that you describe, is unable to overcome having missed part of first grade, well, something else is going on. Particularly if he was able to do college-level work in 4th grade, presumably without intensive tutoring to do so. The term is twice-gifted -- very smart, with learning differences.


I had my son evaluated which is why I know his IQ is genius level. His lack of foundation comes out at odd times like when he was working with 5 year olds. His Hebrew vocabulary also isn't what it should be.
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geulah papyrus




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 24 2015, 5:52 pm
amother wrote:


Again, I did make this choice for one of my kids so I get it - sometimes it's still the better option. But do not fool yourself into thinking that your jewish home plus a few hrs of judaics tutoring a week will keep your kid on par with their peers in a yeshiva.


I think that people make these choices understanding that. I know that certain factors weighed more heavily in my personal decision. we're not all the same and don't all come from the same background. I'm very comfortable with the decision I made and I stand by it 100%. it's not the right decision for everyone but it was the right decision for my family.
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