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Forum -> Pregnancy & Childbirth -> Baby Names
Who would you rather name for?



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amother
Lime


 

Post Sun, Mar 29 2015, 7:39 am
A frum relative who was killed in a pogrom and has conducted kidush hashem through it, and you obviously never knew him

or a non-frum but traditional relative who had a long life and played an important role in your childhood?
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 29 2015, 8:02 am
That's hard... I would probably use both names (done in my family).
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Rutabaga




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 29 2015, 8:46 am
Is there any reason to believe that this will be your last child or your last child of this gender?If not, then can you name for one this time and save the other name for next time?

Do you have siblings who would likely name after one rather than the other? If one would never be named for unless you do so then use that name.

If this is theoretical or you are pregnant and can't decide, then wait until the baby is born and see which name feels right.
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animeme




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 29 2015, 8:58 am
I would combine them. Both have aspects that would cause you not to use the full name, unchanged (short life/violent death, not observant). We were told that when this happens, you either use part of the name but not all or you add a name so its not exactly the same. All you have to say when asked is that you wanted to make sure you could honor them both.
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 29 2015, 9:39 am
another vote for combining ... then you have 2 good reasons for a unique name ... especially if they each have 2 - you don't want a kid with 4 names ...
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amother
Lime


 

Post Sun, Mar 29 2015, 9:53 am
OP

They each have one.
We don't do middle names besides they don't flow together.
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 29 2015, 10:08 am
then go for the person you know & connect to ... we are all spiritual beings - frum or not frum - we come from hashem
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MrsMarmite




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 29 2015, 10:11 am
I vote for the relative who played an important part in your childhood, I feel its hakaras hatov. Also, likely there are relatives alive today who would appreciate it/you'd be making them so happy. Are there??
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amother
Lime


 

Post Sun, Mar 29 2015, 10:18 am
MrsMarmite wrote:
I vote for the relative who played an important part in your childhood, I feel its hakaras hatov. Also, likely there are relatives alive today who would appreciate it/you'd be making them so happy. Are there??


There are relatives who would be happy for using either name.

Thank you everyone who replied.
It is a hard quedtion and I need to hear different points of view.

I daven to HKBH to help us resolve this issue so we could choose a name without a machlokes and a heavy heart.
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Iymnok




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 29 2015, 10:48 am
Naming after someone brings that persons kochos into the new child. Look at what you know about these people and name according to their virtues.
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animeme




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 29 2015, 10:51 am
I would do the relative you know, unless naming after the one you didn't would be a tremendous chesed/Nechama for a close relative who is currently alive. For example,if nobody has named after your grandmother's father and that's who it is and she is still alive to enjoy.

If you do double names (not middle), I might add a meaningful name that flows with the name you choose.
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kelsorino




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 29 2015, 11:06 pm
Naming after someone who had an unpleasant life/death always scares me. We added a name after my husbands grandfather who had a terrible life but was an incredible person. We found a name that we felt enhanced who he was.

For our second child we wanted to name after a grandmother of mine that was not religious but had a vital role in my childhood. I planned on adding a name like we did to our first that I felt would enhance who she was or something such as Temima which means pure to kind of "make up" for my grandmothers being anti-religious. That didn't happen because we ended up with a boy. I had made up my mind before I knew what it was because I so badly wanted to name after a person who special to me despite her religious beliefs.

Good luck with your decision.
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kelsorino




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 29 2015, 11:07 pm
Naming after someone who had an unpleasant life/death always scares me. We added a name after my husbands grandfather who had a terrible life but was an incredible person. We found a name that we felt enhanced who he was.

For our second child we wanted to name after a grandmother of mine that was not religious but had a vital role in my childhood. I planned on adding a name like we did to our first that I felt would enhance who she was or something such as Temima which means pure to kind of "make up" for my grandmothers being anti-religious. That didn't happen because we ended up with a boy. I had made up my mind before I knew what it was because I so badly wanted to name after a person who special to me despite her religious beliefs.

Good luck with your decision.
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