How do I unplug my child?

FranticFrummie

Sun, Apr 12 2015, 6:57 am

Ugh.

I arranged several meetups, play dates, and a long sleepover.

One one play date and on the two night sleepover, the girls involved spent the whole time with their iPads, in the bedroom with the door closed! They made DD promise not to tell their parents, and DD was really upset. She wanted to play with these girls, not to watch the girls break Shabbos/Yom Tov. The other girls she hung out with spent most of the time complaining about how they couldn't wait to get back on their computers and cell phones.

DD was really good, and never touched any of the electronics, even when she was told that "no one would ever find out." I made sure to tell her that I was super proud of her.

Apparently, I'm not the only mother dealing with this problem. Sad

We have to help our children, this is becoming an epidemic! The only other girl my DD hangs out with is NOT Jewish, and she's far more respectful of our way of life than any of these other girls who come from "good Orthodox families."

chani8

Sun, Apr 12 2015, 8:55 am

This two day YT and Shobbos was especially challenging, but we made it through by engaging in discussions, playing cards and brain games (suduko, rush hour), and built a jigsaw puzzle together (we 'let' puzzles).

We actually discussed computer use this weekend, too, as we were all having withdrawals. I shared with my kids what I had learned, that phones and computer are, bottom line, Kotev. Apparently some company in Tel Aviv developed a shobbos phone, for phone calls only, which relies on a delayed reaction system, but that obviously wouldn't work for game play.

That said, if 'all the kids' couldn't put their electronics away, I'd find some kind of compromise for them to do instead, even if it meant a preset video on TV or something like that. Anyway, my real point is, it helps to have tools for discussion on these complicated topics, because as kids get bigger, you can't just say, it's not l'kavod shobbos.

Sounds like that non-jewish friend would make a great Shobbos guest.

amother

Aquamarine

Sun, Apr 12 2015, 3:41 pm

So my DS's obsession is colouring/writing, he counts down the minutes until Shabbos is over, and over first days he got very antsy/nudgy/didn't know what to do with himself. I took the advice here, and made sure to invite someone to come play lego with him on Shabbos afternoon (we had bought some new people and pieces on Chol Hamoed). Lunch, then playdate, then Moshiach Seudah, and yom tov was over before he had time to lose control. BH! Have now made a plan that I will invite a family with kids for afternoon playing every week from now until Shabbos is short again (bli neder, I also have a newborn baby...).
Sorry that advice didn't work for you, Frantic Frummie, but for us it made for a much pleasanter yom tov and a boy who didn't get the chance to say that he hates Shabbos.

debsey

Sun, Apr 12 2015, 4:28 pm

FranticFrummie wrote:

Ugh.

That's so sad. But I'd take heart - your DD - as high maintenance as she is on Shabbos - had the inner fortitude to go against the crowd. That's pretty impressive! I think she'll be OK.