more or less spoiled?

amother

Wine

Mon, Apr 13 2015, 4:51 pm

Was looking at my kids the other day and thinking that they are so much more "spoilt" physically and emotionally than I was as a child. They have more things then I did which may not be such a good thing. On the other hand, they get so much more love and attention then I did.

Interested to hear your thoughts.
(anon cos discussed irl)

33055

Mon, Apr 13 2015, 4:57 pm

My kids have a lot more material things than I did as a child and way more attention. I don't think they are spoiled in the slightest. BH They are good kids.

Kids get spoiled because there is a lack of limits or things are substituted for discipline. I am proud of my kids and their middos. I get constant compliments on them. They have more things than most of their peers and they also have more responsibility. I guide them and work with them. It is much harder to teach than to do.

Fox

Mon, Apr 13 2015, 5:08 pm

I didn't answer the poll -- my answer would be, "Yes."

Kids' lives today are much different than 25-30 years ago. However, I loathe the practice of complaining that, boy, things sure aren't the same as I was a kid. We had to walk ten miles to school, uphill both ways! Or whatever.

Every generation has different challenges.

Every generation has different parenting standards.

And every generation since at least Socrates has complained about the subsequent ones.

Certainly, growing up in the 60s, my peers and I were far less coddled and supervised than my children. On the other hand, far, far less was expected of us, too. Average or better school performance; respect for religion; not getting pregnant; and not getting arrested were pretty much the standard for "successful" parenting of teenagers.

Current kids often seem "spoiled" to me not because they're simply indulged but because they are being treated as investments -- and those parents aren't going to let anything stand in the way of their "profit." So kids are not just encouraged -- they're harassed, bribed, coached, and exhorted -- to perform well in whatever endeavor they undertake.

Ostensibly, this may seem like a variation on the Asian "Tiger Mother" motif, but without that cultural background, it seems both too lax and too harsh at the same time.