Skid marks in underwear

mommyla

Thu, Apr 23 2015, 7:49 pm

Merrymom wrote:

What is wrong with some mothers? Do they not understand that this is a skill that needs to be learned? That kids are not naturally perfectionists and it takes time to develop adult abilities? I feel bad for these kids. I would hate to make a child feel so judged and made to feel like they did something horrible when in truth they are acting like most children. Seriously do a poll, this is beyond ridiculous.

Okay, chill. I think the reactions here are varied because we don't know this kid's age. If he was four or five or six, of course I would never suggest making him clean his underwear. If he's a little older, he should be able to wipe well independently and I'd gently show him his underwear, and have him help me clean it if necessary. If he's ten or older (OP just says he's a "big kid"), I'm assuming OP has done what she can to get him to wipe well, and it's about time he take some responsibility for himself.

Nobody's saying she should hand the kid his undies and tell him that he's disgusting and she won't touch his underwear until he's scrubbed it clean. There's no need for shame, just matter-of-factly tell him that underwear should not be in such a state and it's his job to take care of it (either by scrubbing or rinsing or spraying with stain remover). Chances are after a couple of pairs of underwear he'll start wiping better.

Frumdoc

Fri, Apr 24 2015, 5:07 am

mommyla wrote:

Would you do that with outher bodily fluids?

So if a chuld is clumsy and regularly has blood on their clothes - you would make them scrub it to learn to be more careful? Or vomits? Or bedwets?

Well, I know there is a belief that the child washing their bedding if they had an accident will stop them doing it again, but I don't agree.

Scrubbing faeces is unpleasant. Being made to scub yours off your underwear unlike all your siblings is unpleasant. There must be better ways of educating a child about good toileting hygiene than making them scub their undies as a consequence, it is a stick when a carrot is needed.

mommyla

Fri, Apr 24 2015, 12:41 pm

Frumdoc wrote:

Blood, vomit, bedwetting... those are usually beyond a child's control. A 12-year-old should not be leaving bodily fluids in his underwear at all, and if he's doing it regularly and talking to him about it doesn't help, yes, I'd do it.

My son just threw up on his carpet. I didn't make him clean it even though he should have been able to throw up in the garbage can next to his bed. If my child has an accident I wouldn't make them clean it up because it was just that - an accident. I would never make a bedwetter change his sheets, unless he's doing it on purpose for some reason. When my son was little he thought it was fun to pee in random places, and you bet I made him help me clean it up.

But regularly soiling underwear at the age of 12? Yeah, I'd say it's time for some responsibility. Again, not to make him feel like he's a disgusting creature, but to teach him that this is an unpleasant side effect of not wiping properly. Do you think a 12-year-old would rather have his mother help him wipe properly?