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Being asked to take your shoes off
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amother
Cerulean


 

Post Wed, Apr 22 2015, 9:29 pm
Have you ever been asked to take your shoes off or slippers and walk without shoes on a carpet cus the owners had just put them in and were too scared that they were gonna get stained?
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sequoia




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Apr 22 2015, 9:34 pm
Um, that's not why. It's because it's gross to wear shoes indoors.
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seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Apr 22 2015, 9:40 pm
I have been asked for hygienic reasons and would like to do the same at home except I'm too lazy/disorganized/uncarpeted. For stains it's silly. The carpet is going to get walked on, don't buy a light color.
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amother
Hotpink


 

Post Wed, Apr 22 2015, 9:44 pm
I ask guests to take off their shoes in my rented house with carpet that was most definitely not just put in because traipsing through my home in the shoes you wore walking up my front walk brings the stuff that's on my front walk into my home. That's yucky because I walk around in socks, my baby crawls on the floor and my kids play on the floor. Especially in the winter, I'm going to ask you to remove your shoes.
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amother
Cerulean


 

Post Wed, Apr 22 2015, 9:45 pm
Ok and what if it was by a fam menber aka your own brother and his wife? oh and btw they have a baby too.
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amother
Forestgreen


 

Post Wed, Apr 22 2015, 9:56 pm
Yeah, I have mixed feelings about it.

On the one hand I totally get the concept of not bringing the outside inside.

On the other hand, it is kind cultural and if you are not accustomed to it , it does feel weird to be asked to walk around barefoot. Kind of feels a little invasive and embarrassing. Plus, I'm sorry to say but often peoples' feet smell really bad when they take their shoes off. I have two neighbors who insist on this and I know they are doing it for cleanliness but I am very sensitive to smell and it can be extremely unpleasant.
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Bruria




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Apr 22 2015, 10:01 pm
I think it's a very reasonable request, it's a way to keep the floors of the house clean. In certain countries it's quite the norm.
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seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Apr 22 2015, 10:02 pm
I think it is proper for people with this preference to provide slippers for guests. I have seen this.
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MagentaYenta




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Apr 22 2015, 10:04 pm
It's a regional thing. Here in the PNW folks wear indoor and outdoor shoes. It's a habit that lasts through the rainy season. Some people change their shoes when they come indoors. Lot's of my friends have baskets of slipper socks by the door. Carpet is not something that is used in entry ways.
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sequoia




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Apr 22 2015, 10:14 pm
I have slippers for guests. Not all sizes...
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amother
Cerulean


 

Post Wed, Apr 22 2015, 10:20 pm
Ok I hear, in this case I will detail in short as I am leaving to the dead sea soon and don't have alot of time to elaborate, I'm israeli my sil is american and my brother is very british. (ok I was born in UK but moved to Israel as an adult) ok I have seen in Israel where I work boxes of shoes but most are not so makpid, I'm not makpid on it with my kids, max floors get dirty so we use a shatta to wipe of the dirt and later that shmatta goes into the laundry.

I flew to London for my cousins wedding and my brother who had gotten married not long ago insisted I spend shabbos with him.

They had bought a house, but ran out of money to continue consturction so the downstairs was bare wood ony and the upstairs they had just put in carpet.

truth my shoes weren't dirty and my sil yelled at me to take my shoes off, so I changed to my slippers to which she made me take them off too cus she claimed they were also dirty telling me my israeli floors are always diry and dusty and I don't know how to clean which is not true at all as I do cleaning for a parnassa and I have special sponja shoes as well.

basically she expected me to walk around barefoot on this bare wood the had not caring if I'd get a splinter.

believe me I'm not saying where they live but I got soo mad at her I told her I'm leaving, my brother was also mad at me but I took the next train back to london and went to spend shabbos with my parents where I felt more comfortable.

I don't know who was in the wrong here but right now I must get my day together and leave for the dead sea.
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imaima




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Apr 23 2015, 12:45 am
no this is ridiculous. if you have brought your own indoor shoes, it should have been hygienic enough for her.

We also usually take off the shoes, but of we have guests who won't go beyond the living room, they cam leave their shoes on.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Apr 23 2015, 1:04 am
A couple times. Annoying, potentially humiliating for those who don't match socks... I would NEVER ask it from someone. And I'm not wearing your slippers everyone wears.
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imaima




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Apr 23 2015, 1:13 am
I think bringing your own slippers is a great solution. They make these soft soil cute ballerina shoes now that you can roll up like socks and keep in your purse. Those are actually perfect.

As far as not matching socks.... if you live in a culture where people take off shoes indoors people are aware that their socks will be on display. Sometimes people say, excuse me my socks are not matching, or my tights have a run, but I don't think hosts really care (I don't).
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amother
Ivory


 

Post Thu, Apr 23 2015, 1:26 am
I get the taking shoes off- we always did that in the States because the whole house was carpeted. Not letting you wear your slippers just sounds weird. IMO, they shouldn't have invited you for Shabbos if you had elsewhere you could go and their house wasn't yet ready to receive guests.

On the other hand, I've had Israeli guests who couldn't understand why I wanted their kids to take their muddy boots off before climbing all over my couch.
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amother
Cerulean


 

Post Thu, Apr 23 2015, 1:44 am
My brother is kind of controlling and demanding, partly cus he got married late in life.

even before I booked my ticket he insisted I come.

I didn't actually go back to london cus my flight reurn to TLV was from Manchester where he lives, but I did go stay with friends.

I kept asking him if it was ok and he said yes, I never dreamt this would happen. well I'm not going back to him soo soon.
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Raisin




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Apr 23 2015, 1:54 am
obviously your brother was rude, and so was his wife.

I've never been asked to take off shoes in anyones house, I don't think it is common at all in the UK.
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amother
Saddlebrown


 

Post Thu, Apr 23 2015, 3:38 am
This has nothing to do with shoes and everything to do with rudeness. Yelling and insults are never acceptablef. But having a no shoes policy is perfectly reasonable. I am part Asian and in that side of my family's country of origin, everyone takes off their shoes as soon as they enter a home. A host provides guests with slippers so no one is walking around barefoot. I grew up this way (in America, but my family keeps this tradition) and do it in my own home. A lot of people find it interesting, but respect my rules because it is my house.
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Raisin




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Apr 23 2015, 3:44 am
sequoia wrote:
Um, that's not why. It's because it's gross to wear shoes indoors.


Why? Unless you eat your food off the floor. Do you never go outside, or have picnics outside? I might find it gross to wear someone else slippers to be honest. (I never have) I understand that some people don't want flooring to get ruined but there is nothing unhygenic about wearing shoes inside.

I dislike not wearing shoes, my feet feel cold.
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the world's best mom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Apr 23 2015, 4:02 am
I would not be comfortable taking off my shoes. I never walk around barefoot, because the floor is disgusting, even in homes where no shoes are allowed. People remove their shoes and walk around in sweaty socks, leaving wet footprints. I don't want their sweat on my feet or my socks. And then I would put my shoes back on and get their sweat into my shoes. And I certainly wouldn't wear slippers that have been worn by others before.

I guess if I knew I was going to a shoe-less home, I would try to bring along my own slippers to wear there. But luckily I have never had this experience in my neighborhood.
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