Being asked to take your shoes off

amother

Scarlet

Sun, Apr 26 2015, 8:05 am

amother wrote:

I know exactly one person who makes people remove their shoes, and figured this is just another one of her many, many annoying quirks. If so many people do this, how come I don't know anyone else who does?

hey! I know one person in my building that does this also! (Her husband hates it btw, rolls his eyes when she asks him and company to remove their shoes) it must be a cultural thing. I don't think it's as common in the states as it is in other countries.

amother

Lavender

Sun, Apr 26 2015, 11:41 am

Could I possibly be the only person here who considers it a violation of my tznius? I'm sickened by the idea of sharing slippers with half the neighborhood, but hygiene aside, I'm creeped out by the idea of removing my shoes in front of men who are not my dh. The weird part is that the neighbor who insists on this is a tznius fanatic and has shtick that don't exist even in her favorite book, Oz Vehadar Levusha. OTOH maybe it's not tznius at all and she's hiding a scar or birthmark. That makes sense.

amother

Cerulean

Sun, Apr 26 2015, 2:01 pm

studying_torah wrote:

I think a large part of the issue for op was that she wasn't even allowed to wear her own slippers, nor offered a fresh pair.
And then the SIL criticized her cleaning abilities, which seems way out of line.

Exactly, spot on. I'm not saying I never take off my shoes, at home I live in slippers cus they are more comfy, when I clean I have special plasticc shoes for sponja but never walk around barefoot or just in socks. I was just going to the bathroom and then we had to head out again, and to think that my slippers weren't good enough for her or my hygiene or cleanliness wasn't good enough for her?

Sadly it ruined our relationship and I don't want to go back to her, I'd rather meet her at a snackbar next time that go to their house.

Plus I warned my brother, your baby will get bigger, forget the shoes for now, one day the kid will walk around dripping milk bottles and the carpets WILL get stained.

I let my kids wear their shoes I never force them to take them off.

mommyto3RN

Sun, Apr 26 2015, 2:12 pm

I ask my in laws to take their shoes off in my house other guests won't normally. My laws are over more often so that's why I've asked. I have a 5 months old that plays on the floor, on a activity gym but he rolls off and will be crawling on the floor as well its just more sanitary without outside shoes. Yes I vacuum often but it's still gross on my carpet to have kids and baby playing when people where their outside shoes. I wouldn't care if they put on their own slippers, I have slippers for them also if they want. I'm not a slippers person so I'll just wear socks or nothing in the house.

MagentaYenta

Sun, Apr 26 2015, 3:23 pm

amother wrote:

I keep slipper socks in a basket by my front door. I tell guests to just throw the used ones next to the basket. After they leave I throw them in the laundry. It's a bit more 'sanitary' than trying on clothes or shoes in a store. Just something to think about.

Ruchel

Sun, Apr 26 2015, 4:26 pm

Anything sock or fluffy I am NOT borrowing. It disgusts me (and I'm not finicky).
In shoes shops, ouat they would give out one-use knee highs to try shoes... nowadays it seems to have disappeared but still people don't stay hours walking in them.

edamame

Sun, Apr 26 2015, 5:01 pm

I wish I could remember the name of the first lady who claimed in an interview that she never wears open toed shoes. why? she didn't feel comfortable that people could see her toes. I was impressed. I had one friend in school, anna, who's parents kept an immaculate house. I always had to take off my shoes when visiting. I was ok with it then but not now. I know people want to keep their carpets clean but I never go barefoot or in socks at home and insist that my kids do the same. I wouldn't feel comfortable without shoes and barefoot, forget about it. I consider it a health hazard to go without shoes. most of my floors are hard tile and whenever we drop a dish, the shards go everywhere. I always warn my children, there could be a piece of glass that we didn't pick up.

amother

Lavender

Sun, Apr 26 2015, 6:14 pm

Both sharing shoes or slippers and walking barefoot are great ways to acquire nail fungus or athlete's foot, which, once you have them, are your loyal companions for life. I finally understand what "choliim ne'emanim" are. Even if you take oral antifungals for the prescribed number of months, you remain forever hypersusceptible, have to use topical antifungals on a regular basis, and the infection tends to come back.