Being asked to take your shoes off

imaima

Thu, Apr 23 2015, 1:44 pm

Raisin wrote:

we have lots of guests every week and no one is ever asked to remove shoes. bh my kids rarely get sick. (Yes! I let them crawl around on the floor) Contrary to what you may think, a few germs are GOOD for babies, since it helps build their immune systems.

So why not let them touch the sweaty people's footprints? This will strengthen their immine systems just as well!

I find some of people's assumptions quitw far fetched. They think everyone jas smelly socks just like that, and the slippers staying sweaty forever after someone wore them...
Those people must have never tried anything on in a store... Yet when it comes to the soles of their shoes, they are all clean and healthy for babies to suck on Rolling Eyes

mfb

Thu, Apr 23 2015, 1:47 pm

Raisin wrote:

I go to a play place for toddlers that has disposable shoe covers if you don't want to remove shoes. I'm sure they are pretty cheap, anyone who is over worried about germs.

Where do you find that? I would buy it as a gift for a friend of mine, that hates shoes in the house but doesn't want to ask pple to remove theirs.

Scrabble123

Thu, Apr 23 2015, 1:57 pm

mfb wrote:

Where do you find that? I would buy it as a gift for a friend of mine, that hates shoes in the house but doesn't want to ask pple to remove theirs.

That's what I was speaking about. Disposable booties. Try a medical supply store....

ora_43

Thu, Apr 23 2015, 2:04 pm

sequoia wrote:

I don't understand you guys. Why are you being such jerks about this?

You say it's rude to ask a guest to take off their shoes. But in my milieu no one needs to ask. Everyone removes their shoes as soon as they come in. If I went to my friend's house and didn't take off my shoes, that would be rude!

Why can't you believe that there are different customs?

I don't think people are saying the custom is rude. They're saying the asking is rude. If nobody needs to ask, then that wouldn't be rude.

For me it's not about hygiene, it's about being asked to change the way I'm dressed. I think removing shoes is a good idea, especially if you have carpets. But I think being asked to remove or put on items of clothing is really awkward.

Of course, in OP's case the main issue was the rest of the way it was handled. Being asked to remove my shoes would make me slightly uncomfortable but not angry. Being told that I don't know how to clean, OTOH, would make me angry (even if in my case it's pretty much true).

Raisin

Thu, Apr 23 2015, 2:09 pm

imaima wrote:

I have no objection if people want to remove their shoes in my house either. Whatever works!

amother

Azure

Thu, Apr 23 2015, 2:09 pm

I grew up in canada, where there's a whole 'lotta snow, slush, salt and mud on the ground outside for a large part of the year. Everyone wears heavy snow boots, so it's just common sense for people to take off their filthy footwear at the front door. We never wore shoes around the house, I guess it's just something we were used to, I never even thought about it. Even now, I don't live in canada anymore, and people wear shoes indoors here, but I'm totally not comfortable in shoes, shoes in my mind are for going outside only, I even take off my shoes in the car, I just hate wearing them!
Growing up, it was normal to ask "should I take off my shoes?" when going to a friends house. Now, I'm much too polite to ask folks to take their shoes off, (I'm Canadian, after all LOL

) but I cringe inwardly when I see people trooping mud and salt through my home. Do you know what salt does to a carpet?! I have to get my carpet professionally cleaned every spring because some people just don't think. At the very least, people should wipe their shoes on the mat.

domino

Thu, Apr 23 2015, 2:30 pm

Good evening
I am new to this site and it is the first time I've posted so do forgive me if I am saying something incorrect.
I understand that this is a frum site so I would like to bring in something that I was very much brought up with and hope that you do not mind me sharing this with you.
As a Jewess born in England in the late 1950's, my sister and I were always brought up that we must never walk around without shoes on. My father made it quite clear that walking around with no shoes on was a sign that someone very close to you had died (or was close to dying) and we must never ever do it.
It was so much a part of our upbringing that when I was sitting shiva for my husband in 1997, my father automatically said about wearing no shoes was a sign that someone close to you had died and realized what he had said and on what the occasion was. Funnily enough, he has never ever said this to us since.
I know that most of the posts are about the taking off the shoes for cleanliness but I just thought I bring in this tradition that I was very much brought up with.
B'Shalom
>^..^<
Caroline H

greenhelm

Thu, Apr 23 2015, 2:37 pm

Barbara wrote:

I don't live in a part of the world in which it is a "cultural tradition" to remove shoes in the home. If I did, or if I visited a country in which that was the tradition, certainly I would comply.

Farting after a meal is an expression of thanks and appreciation to the Inuit people of Canada. If I ever visit the Intuit people in Canada, I'll give it the old college try. But don't fart at my table and say "well, the Intuit ...."

You are seriously comparing removing shoes indoors to farting at the table? That's not inflammatory at all. Thank you for your totally apt and not at all insulting comparison. Not exactly sure why you felt the need for that.

In my neighborhood - way in the wilds of Canada, where we don't fart at the table or befoul floors with our slushy, salty footwear - people will actually bring indoor shoes to people's houses if they are visiting.

animeme

Thu, Apr 23 2015, 2:49 pm

domino wrote:

This. My father used to say you have to ask your parents' permission to walk around just in your socks, because it's a sign of aveilus for them. And I'm US born and bred, as is my dad. Slippers do solve this, but if someone would be forced to walk around in socks, this might be a factor.

Kitten

Thu, Apr 23 2015, 3:15 pm

When I go to someone, depending on the weather, I either automatically remove my shoes or ask the hostess if she prefers that I remove them. Many people I know prefer their guests to remove shoes, even if their floors are not clean.
Sometimes people have slippers for the guests. If they are too disgusting or, to put it differently, if the floor appears cleaner, I say that I prefer to walk bare foot.
If I would stay overnight, I would definitely bring indoor shoes.

blini

Thu, Apr 23 2015, 3:16 pm

Where I live many people ask when they come in, "Is it okay to keep my shoes on?" This is because the preference varies so much. But everyone, in my experience, automatically removes their boots/shoes in winter. I can't imagine anyone would approve of keeping the Timberlands on in the house.

I always ask my hosts because it's their house, their rules. And my duty as a guest is not to offend my hosts.

simchat

Thu, Apr 23 2015, 3:32 pm

Another one living in Canada where it`s the norm and expected to remove shoes when visiting. Some people don`t during the summer, but for sure in the winter, it`s quite rude, not to mention, uncomfortable (think of your feet sweating in heavy duty snow boots) to wear out door footwear in the house.

That said, I`m originally from Europe where most people don`t think twice about wearing shoes indoors - except my mother. She`s far from a clean freak, but for some reason, we always had to take shoes off when we came home. The truth is, besides for dirt, there are shoes (think stilettos for eg) that actually can ruin hard wood floors, which actually happened to my parents once when they weren`t comfortable enough to ask a guest to take off her very high heels.

Either way, I don`t see it as rude to ask someone to remove shoes if there`s a good reason (very muddy, slushy or wet out, new flooring, etc) and politely. TG I live where it`s the norm, as I`m much more comfy in my socks Smile

Yael3

Thu, Apr 23 2015, 3:39 pm

There's a message on my door that reads "Please take your shoes off". It was there from the previous owners and I happily left it up. I specifically moved to this apartment because it's fully carpeted and my baby at the time was just starting to crawl. I don't mind slippers in the house; just not shoes that are worn outside.

amother

Lavender

Thu, Apr 23 2015, 3:43 pm

I've never been asked to remove shoes for the sake of flooring though I once removed shoes for the sake of a white carpet only to see the occupants of the house walk on it in their shoes! I felt silly, but also thought it was supremely silly to have such a carpet. My peasant roots showing: Pale carpet=dirt magnet=never gets clean=endless work for owner. Rich people's equations are different.. The housekeeper keeps it clean, not the owner.
An acquaintance of mine insists on everyone removing shoes before entering house, not sure why. Might have something to do with tracking in allergens or might have something to do with wanting to minimize vacuuming. I'm ______ed if I'm going to walk around barefoot in someone else's house, and though she has some slippers in the entryway, they aren't disposable. Peasant roots or not, I object to sharing footwear with other people, so I avoid going there.
We had a friend who used to remove his shoes and walk around in his socks the moment he came through our door. On the one hand I was glad he felt so comfortable in our house, but this was just a little too casual IMO. Also there's something vaguely yucky about it. This isn't logical, because whatever's on the bottom of the shoe is bound to be yuckier than whatever's on the bottom of the sock, but even so. And I wasn't even thinking about the fact that he's handling his shoes and not washing his hands afterwards, which just occurred to me now and is grossing me out even further...