So worried | Imamother

amother

Plum

Fri, Apr 24 2015, 9:11 am

DH and I are relatively newly married, no kids. Before our marriage I had never owned a credit card. I made all my transactions on a debit card and was able to always stay on top of my finances. When we got engaged DH suggested we open a credit card for points and for some leeway in case of emergency. I agreed, although I was very hesitant. Fast forward close to a year, were in almost $4,000 worth of debt. I have tried numerous times to make a budget and keep track but somehow were just not keeping up.
I think there are 2 main problems:
1. We're not bringing in enough money to covert our expenses. I'm a full time student and work as many hours as I can on the side. I have a decently good paying job but I can't put in as many hours as I want because of college. DH only works 3 days a week and his job is not well paying at all. He has tried to add on hours at work but he can't. He's also been looking for other jobs but so far nothing. Right now I'm in school full time and also working over 30 hours a week and I'm running myself ragged. It's also make me resent DH a little, even though I know that's not fair to him.
2. DH does not know how to budget!! He was raised in a very chaotic and poor home and money was always a huge stress and burden. He has no idea how to be responsible about money and every time I try to talk to him about it (nicely and respectfully) he gets very hurt because somehow he thinks I'm "yelling" at him like he's used to his parents doing. He'll rack up charges from silly things & it's so frustrating to watch our money fly out the window.

Does anyone have any advice?

saw50st8

Fri, Apr 24 2015, 9:28 am

Read Dave Ramsey's method.

Credit card points are great - if you are only buying what you can afford and pay the bill in full each time.

Move to a cash only system - when you run out, you are out for the month.

Don't buy anything that isn't absolutely essential. Pay down your debt and then think about anything even remotely extra.

Make sure to keep your food bill super low.

If you pay for utilities, make sure to unplug every device (except the refrigerator) when not in use.

If you don't take care of this early on, it will spiral easily to $40,000.

lfab

Fri, Apr 24 2015, 11:29 am

Cut up the credit card and only use cash until DH is ready to sit down and have a mature conversation about money. Once you're both on the same page financially only use a credit card for items you would buy anyway (food, gas, etc.) and pay it off in full each month. If you are ever in a situation where you can't pay it in full one month then go back to cash only until you get back on top of your finances. All the points and miles in the world are worthless if you end up paying hundreds or even thousands of dollars in interest on the money you owe.

I know you're really tight for money right now but maybe a meeting with a financial planner/budgeting expert would help your husband. This way it wouldn't be you telling him off but you can use the advisor as an excuse (so and so said we can only do/spend...)