DH frowned upon discipline and ever saying "no"

amother

Green

Wed, Apr 29 2015, 11:43 am

DH refused to discipline ever, and always frowned upon me disciplining and ever saying "no" to any of the children. My husband never asked a child to mail a letter or go to the grocery, or to help me, or to appreciate anything weve ever done for them. His attitide was they have to know by themselves. Imho, kids dont know by themselves, kids generally arent givers, theyre takers, unless theyre taught properly. Assigning chores was always aggravating because as soon as theyd squirm and make a face, DH said "Ill do it". Dh never raised his voice to a child, ever, but over time when I lost it over these kinds of issues, and yelled at him or a child, hed say "Look at you", and voiced anger at ME in front of the children. He never ever voiced anger at the kids. I wish Id have had a 20 year video of the goings on in my home. Over the years, I used to cry to my mother and she always told me "It could be worse, just forget about it".

Whichever psychologists we went to, said to me "You do what you have to do, they will respect you more than him when they get older". End of the day, by and large I have ungrateful, disrespectful, me first, "you owe me a,b,c" kids (except for one), never appreciating what we do, complaining we dont do enough, and having short memories about what we did yesterday and the day before. We are very generous by the way. This is very aggravating.

Im not looking for hugs, Im looking for advice. Is there anything to do about it now that most are married and theyre older. Therapist we both went to recently told me :"He has never supported you, and will never support you, get used to it. Hes not changing". She didnt have much more advice than that.

Is there anything to do now?

Mothers out there, if you see yourselves in a similar situation, learn from it, and dont let it continue. Im not sure what I could of done differently though.