Toddlers sharing a room - how do you do it?!

amother

Maroon

Wed, Apr 29 2015, 3:29 pm

I have two toddlers, they're almost 2 and 3. So far, they've been in separate rooms but looks like I'll be needing to free up the other bedroom some time in the next 6m-a year. I think it's probably a good idea to put them together anyway...I'm just wondering how it works. My almost 3 yr old is still in a crib now but I'm planning on transitioning him to a bed before putting them together. Anyone have any tips for me? I've heard that kids learn to sleep through each others' sounds but do your kids wake each other up? One of my kids coughs a lot at night, the other sometimes cries for 1-2 minutes in between sleep cycles. Is it just a given that I'll have to go in to resettle them both sometimes? Do you stagger bedtimes or put them down together? Do they play when they should be sleeping? I know it's a bunch of questions all in a row - thanks in advance to all who want to answer and help out a room sharing newbie.

Ruchel

Wed, Apr 29 2015, 3:55 pm

I don't have the exact same ages yet, but yes they sleep through noises and it's a bracha, a gift you give them to not need perfect quiet and no light and all to be able to sleep, like I do :/

They may play when you want them to sleep. I made a rule, you can play quietly, if you don't come out, and allow the other to sleep if wanted. They may also sleep better and call to you less because they reassure each other. Maybe they'll cosleep and it''s the best pics.

For now, my 1 yr old is in a bar bed and my 3 yr old in an adult bed for quite long time (a bit before baby was born). But I've also had the case of two kids with two adult beds. I didn't find a difference except only a big kid can really come into the bar bed to cosleep. Big enough to be told it's not safe with a small baby.

You can teach respect of sleep, too, from early on. Start with parents sleep Wink

Shmaichel

Wed, Apr 29 2015, 4:00 pm

My kids are a year apart and slept in the same room ever they were about 2 & 1 and it works out so well bh. The beginning will probably be a big adjustment, so maybe only do 1 adjustment at a time... (Like keep your older one in a crib cuz that's what he's used to until he gets used to sharing a room.)

When I cut out my younger one's day nap, he would fall asleep right away with a bottle and then my older one would babble and fall asleep on his own. But now they learned to fall asleep even though they do chat a little right when I put them down.

They will always wake each other up in the morning though, when they were little they used to sing together in their cribs and talk, and now I put different toys in their room for the morning.

Good luck!!

rachelbg

Wed, Apr 29 2015, 10:37 pm

Our noise machine works wonders. I used to stagger their bedtimes, but at this point they go to bed at the same time, and I have them trained to lie quietly in their places (big one in a toddler bed, little one in crib) while I sit for a few minutes in the dark. Then the white noise machine takes over. Sometimes they schmooze or sing for a few minutes once I leave, but they're generally tired and have learned to just go to sleep, and sleep through each other!

Also, if one is sick and waking up constantly because of it, we keep one or the other in our room in a pack-n-play as not to be disturbing the other one for nights on end.

FranticFrummie

Wed, Apr 29 2015, 10:53 pm

OP, I'm sure it will be hard at first, but you are so lucky!

My DD is an only child, and she constantly asks me to get a sister for her so she won't be so lonely at night. Most of the time she's in my bed. Confused

She says she'd stay in her own bed if she had company in her room.

All of my friends who have larger families have two kids rooms. One for boys and one for girls. Everyone manages to get along, from teens to toddlers, and they all get plenty of sleep.

Sometimes I think the frum world is single handedly responsible for the sales of Ikea bunk beds. LOL

Ruchel

Thu, Apr 30 2015, 12:38 pm

For the sake of truth, there are also many kids who dream of their own room, it's not "mean" to have your own room, actually some go the opposite and say sharing is bad etc. I lived in such a kehila.

There are also many non Jews with 2 kids who only have 2 bedrooms - or some, even 1. Bunkbeds all the way.

mommyto3RN

Thu, Apr 30 2015, 1:03 pm

I have almost the exact same ages. Mine are 3, 2, and 5 1/2 months. My older ones have been in the same room since the 2 year old was like 8/9 months and sleeping through the night. While regular noises like coughing(even all night) and a bit of crying won't bother the other one, if one is screaming obviously they'll get up. I live in a bi level house, so the set up is a bit annoying so on the "main level" there are 2 beedrooms and we don't want to put the kids downstairs yet, so they sleep in 1 room together and the baby is in our room and he can scream lol at night and they are good with that too. It also may be easier to sort of transition both kids at the same time to bigger beds. My 3 year old is in a regular toddler bed and is doing great, and the 2 year old is in a crib with the side down and a long bar/gate thing. We switched them to that situation together and it's been easier and they've been great. Thankfully they don't get up much at night but if they do they don't wanna be in their beds so I have a fold out mattress type of thing thats light(got from costco) where I'll put both of them there on the floor and their good, they won't come out of their room and wander, but I also close their door, if they want they can open it but they usually don't.

onlyscarves

Thu, Apr 30 2015, 3:21 pm

I have a 4 yr old, a 2 1/2 yr old and a 1 yr old.
They've always shared a room (well, we didn't have any other option regardless...)
We always went by the principle, the earlier the better, and used to graduate the newer baby from our room to the kids' room when he/she was 3-4 months old.
Our kids love sleeping together - and yes, they love to climb into each other's beds and sleep with each other!
(We have some adorable pictures...!)

I actually have found that having them sleep together in the same room has made them better sleepers overall. For example, my son is a super light sleeper, and wakes easily. But because his siblings are in the room...he got used to coughs, sneezes and the occasional cry from the others and can sleep more deeply and thoroughly because of it.

There will always be an adjustment phase - but usually by day 3 they're used to each other.

Depending on their ages you can stagger bedtimes, but usually by the time the youngest is 1 you can more or less put them to bed at the same time (depending of course, on your own needs and the ages of the other child/ren).

amother

Maroon

Tue, May 05 2015, 9:29 pm

OP Here

Thanks for all the good advice! I like to have a plan before I make these kinds of transitions but I guess I'm just going to have to try it and see what happens. I'm still debating whether or not to put my 3 year old in a bed before or after putting the kids together but hopefully all will work out.