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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Preschoolers
DS still delayed with speech & physically. HELP!!



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amother
Slateblue


 

Post Wed, Apr 29 2015, 11:04 pm
DS, 3 yrs old- started speaking very late. He has speech therapy for a while with no major improvement. Till I had his hearing tested, which he failed and had tubes put in. This was quiet a while ago and hes still talking very unclear. Checked his hearing again and he passed.
Physically he isn't great either. He started walking at age 2. Hes still not running/walking up steps as his age supposed to. walks up one step at a time holding on, cant jump.... (he has PT for a while too) He doesn't enjoy moving around too much, doesn't enjoy playing... rather sits in one place and does nothing. he enjoys eating-too much.

I'M AT MY WITS END!!! He has all therapy he needs. What else can I do????/ Any suggestions?? Specially with his speech, anything else to do besides regular speech therapy?
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amother
Sienna


 

Post Thu, Apr 30 2015, 2:31 am
Kudos to you, for taking proactive steps to help your son!

It sounds like you are already getting everything that you can (both in terms of diagnoses and services) from EI. Given the scope of his current therapies, I would suggest making an appointment with a developmental pediatrician, to see if there is an overarching issue at play that EI isn't equipped to diagnose.

Hatzlacha!
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the world's best mom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Apr 30 2015, 7:05 am
A developmental pediatrician wouldn't be a bad idea. Also, are you sure you are are using excellent therapists? The really good ones can see great results but the ones that are just okay don't help as much. Maybe it's time to switch.
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amother
Blush


 

Post Thu, Apr 30 2015, 8:26 am
My son was like yours 6 years ago. He's 9 now. He's been to many doctors....no real diagnosis other than global developmental delays. Time has moved on; he moves along his own curve, always improving but always behind.

Sometimes more and more therapy does not do more. My own advice, which I wish someone would have given me years ago: love this child as much as you can and try to look at him not as kid who needs to catch up, but just as a kid. Try, for the majority of the day at least, not to see where he lags behind.

I feel like I wasted my son's childhood with therapists, trying to "fix" him. Focusing on his delays and not his strengths.

I don't know you and you didn't post much so you may not need this advice...but there it is Smile
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sky




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Apr 30 2015, 9:16 am
Are you sure you are expecting age appropriate speech and the speed at which it progresses. My son had horrible speech at age 3. He is 8 and still a work in progress. But some sounds he is still just starting to work on. (like "r"). back when he started some sounds like "l" and "t" took a long time to master, and he had an excellent speech therapist for those letters. It takes time and lots of at home practice.

Maybe if you sat down with his speech therapist and got an understanding of what is expected at each age and how long each step will take it will help.
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amother
Mauve


 

Post Thu, Apr 30 2015, 9:29 am
amother wrote:
My son was like yours 6 years ago. He's 9 now. He's been to many doctors....no real diagnosis other than global developmental delays. Time has moved on; he moves along his own curve, always improving but always behind.

Sometimes more and more therapy does not do more. My own advice, which I wish someone would have given me years ago: love this child as much as you can and try to look at him not as kid who needs to catch up, but just as a kid. Try, for the majority of the day at least, not to see where he lags behind.

I feel like I wasted my son's childhood with therapists, trying to "fix" him. Focusing on his delays and not his strengths.

I don't know you and you didn't post much so you may not need this advice...but there it is Smile


This, exactly. Delays are usually not something that can be fixed or cured. Well, they can be, but you can't expect it. The purpose of therapy is not to get to the point of "normal" (although if that happens, great). The purpose is to help the child learn and function to the best of his ability. So I think the first step is you have to start viewing it that way and stop thinking of a timeline with a definite end point, or you will forever be disappointed. Now, of course, you want to help your child as much as possible and you hope to see lots of progress. If very little progress is being made, then it may be time to evaluate if you are getting the most out of therapy- maybe he needs different therapists or additional specialists involved. But then again, even with the best therapists, you can't expect miracles. My son has an excellent team, an amazing school that really collaborates with them, and he HAS b'h made tremendous progress over the last year. But that doesn't mean he was always progressing all of the time. And there is still plenty more to do. I think the other thing to keep in mind is that you really have to follow through with whatever is happening in therapy yourself. Assuming he's getting the typical amount of services- which would be one or two half hour sessions a week of each service- you need to make sure to really reinforce those skills yourself between sessions. Get similar toys to what the therapist has, play the games the therapist plays, etc.
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amother
Amethyst


 

Post Thu, Apr 30 2015, 10:23 am
I will tell you what I know from personal experience. My son is hearing impaired, and I learned that EI is amazing, but it's imperative that you go to the right doctors and therapists. I would tell you to take him for another hearing test at the best audiologist in your area. This way you can cross hearing loss off the list. Then ask around about who the best therapists are. Call or go down to your agency and explain that you aren't seeing results, something has to change. Sit in on the sessions and make sure you're carrying it over after the therapists leave. You are your child's best advocate, and only you can make sure that he's getting what he needs.
Good luck!
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amother
Slateblue


 

Post Mon, May 04 2015, 1:42 pm
OP Here
Thanks for your replies.
He is in a school with their own therapists. His therapist is supposed to be great. I see major improvement in his language (which don't think has to do with therapist) but still unclear.
He also drools a lot, which were trying to work on, to remind him to swallow.
Really want to send him to regular school but wonder if I could the way he is. Crying
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amother
Slateblue


 

Post Tue, Apr 03 2018, 11:19 pm
Original op here.
Ds is 6 now. Still not better physically. Sad
Still Have to remind him to alternate feet when going on stairs. He tries to get away with it when I don't see.

What's a developmental doctor?
How do I find such a dr?
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amother
Smokey


 

Post Tue, Apr 03 2018, 11:39 pm
Please please op!!!, actually please please Hashem! Help this woman.

Op speak to your kids therapists and find a developmental pediatrician.

And as was said above

YOU HAVE TO LOVE YOUR CHILD THE WAY HE IS.
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amother
Ruby


 

Post Tue, Apr 03 2018, 11:41 pm
Your pediatrition should be referring him to a developmental ped.

Surprised they haven’t sent him for an evaluation by now.
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amother
Ruby


 

Post Tue, Apr 03 2018, 11:46 pm
As a mother with a SN child who had a lot of delays, it takes a lot of time & work on your part to have your child be the best he can be. Not saying your child is SN but he clearly has some delays which he may be able to catch up.
Who knows?? The measuring stick should be how far he can go. Please stop comparing him to typical children.

It takes time, patience & a lot of work & positive energy.
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amother
Slateblue


 

Post Wed, Apr 04 2018, 9:37 am
What does a developmental Dr do?
Just refers to more therapy?
Never heard of it before
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amother
Fuchsia


 

Post Wed, Apr 04 2018, 9:47 am
Is he still getting PT and Speech?
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amother
Slateblue


 

Post Wed, Apr 04 2018, 9:48 am
amother wrote:
Is he still getting PT and Speech?


Yes
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mother1969




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Apr 04 2018, 10:04 am
It sounds like he has poor motor planning which accounts for motor and Speech delays. I would look for s speech therapist that specializes in production of speech. Often, motor planing delays go hand in hand with cognitive delays. I would get a full developmental evaluation. Good luck! I’m a bcba you can message me with any questions.
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amother
Honeydew


 

Post Wed, Apr 04 2018, 10:04 am
amother wrote:
This, exactly. Delays are usually not something that can be fixed or cured. Well, they can be, but you can't expect it. The purpose of therapy is not to get to the point of "normal" (although if that happens, great). The purpose is to help the child learn and function to the best of his ability. So I think the first step is you have to start viewing it that way and stop thinking of a timeline with a definite end point, or you will forever be disappointed. Now, of course, you want to help your child as much as possible and you hope to see lots of progress. If very little progress is being made, then it may be time to evaluate if you are getting the most out of therapy- maybe he needs different therapists or additional specialists involved. But then again, even with the best therapists, you can't expect miracles. My son has an excellent team, an amazing school that really collaborates with them, and he HAS b'h made tremendous progress over the last year. But that doesn't mean he was always progressing all of the time. And there is still plenty more to do. I think the other thing to keep in mind is that you really have to follow through with whatever is happening in therapy yourself. Assuming he's getting the typical amount of services- which would be one or two half hour sessions a week of each service- you need to make sure to really reinforce those skills yourself between sessions. Get similar toys to what the therapist has, play the games the therapist plays, etc.


I feel like I wrote this! And I couldnt agree more. It is what it is. Your child may just be delayed. Accept! You must accept his situation! Dont try to push him into a mold that he doesn’t fit into. Create a mold for him!
Only thing I have a different opinion on- is yes, carry over between sessions is super super important! I wont say no!
But remember- first your a mommy!
And be his mommy- not his therapist!
You having a calm supper around the table, and not focusing on his goals- is a tremendous learning experience!!
Dont turn every natural moment into a therapy session.
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