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Forum
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-> Moving/ Relocating
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amother
Taupe
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 Tue, May 05 2015, 12:36 pm
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It's a good point about the commuting costs possibly eating up the cost savings on the house.. although having your own yard is mighty attractive. Also the expensive Brooklyn homes are usually 2-family so you are sharing the costs.
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amother
Taupe
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Tue, May 05 2015, 12:38 pm
| amother wrote: | | 55 minutes in your dreams. On bad days it could be an hour and a half. In bad weather and heavy traffic, longer still. Friday afternoons in May and June? Fuhgeddaboudit. I'm with MY. It's hard on an adult, brutal for a kid. I wasn't in love with my kids'school but it was a six-minute walk from home. That's why they went there. |
an hour and a half is a bad day?
what is a typical day like?
Keep in mind that I commute on the subway an hour to an hour and a half each day.
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Tzutzie
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Tue, May 05 2015, 1:02 pm
My husband commutes every day for over an hour. It's exhausting. When he takes public transportation its cheaper (toll and gas) and faster and he gets to relax. He Hates the drive. On some days it can take 2 hours in traffic.
We at looking into communities closer to his work place and closer to the city. One is just 22 minutes by car from his workplace and 30 minutes my cart to the place we originally started out as a married couple. We loved the place. Not the price.
Hes barely home and always exhausted. On most days he works 11-12 hours + commuting both ways (add 3 hours). On some days its 14 + commuting. Commuting is HARD. especially for children.
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Scrabble123
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Tue, May 05 2015, 2:30 pm
| Tzutzie wrote: | | Commuting is HARD. especially for children. |
I beg to differ. Commuting becomes apart of a child's routine and he/she will immediately adapt. The parents' and friends' attitudes on commuting has a greater impact on the child than the actual commute. It also has a nice impact on the scheduled part of a child's routine. It's just not common on the East Coast.
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Iymnok
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Tue, May 05 2015, 2:52 pm
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We had a 25-45 minute drive to school. My mother told us stories as she drove, played sorry tapes, children's music, books on tape from the library, classical music station. We had old notebooks and pens in the car to play dots, hangman... Tic tac toe on the windows when it was rainy. We found stuff to do, it was normal for us. Kids manage.
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Raisin
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Tue, May 05 2015, 3:04 pm
| Scrabble123 wrote: | | I beg to differ. Commuting becomes apart of a child's routine and he/she will immediately adapt. The parents' and friends' attitudes on commuting has a greater impact on the child than the actual commute. It also has a nice impact on the scheduled part of a child's routine. It's just not common on the East Coast. |
don't forget most frum schools already have longer days then public or private non Jewish schools. And it might be fine for a highschooler or middle schooler, but it can hard on a little kid. Of course it is not impossible but its hard. And some people might enjoy it more then others.
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Barbara
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Tue, May 05 2015, 3:17 pm
| Scrabble123 wrote: | | I beg to differ. Commuting becomes apart of a child's routine and he/she will immediately adapt. The parents' and friends' attitudes on commuting has a greater impact on the child than the actual commute. It also has a nice impact on the scheduled part of a child's routine. It's just not common on the East Coast. |
You apparently did. Bully for you.
We know plenty of kids whose parents tried to do commutes of that length, in a carpool or private car service. Eight I can think of off the top of my head. One family wound up moving. The rest transferred their kids to closer schools after a year. Each and every child was completely and utterly miserable with the commute, even if they loved the school itself.
High school age kids do a lot better than little ones.
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MagentaYenta
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Tue, May 05 2015, 3:22 pm
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What happens when you are trapped in traffic and one of the kids needs to use the toilet? Heck it was hard enough for me some days, driving could help take my mind off of it, but if I was riding in a 15 passenger van it was all I could think of.
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Sake
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Tue, May 05 2015, 3:39 pm
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Honestly from many many many miles of experience not more than 30minutes. Minutes not miles. I'm about to go back to work from maternity leave and am dreading my commute.
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Notsobusy
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Tue, May 05 2015, 4:00 pm
| Raisin wrote: | | don't forget most frum schools already have longer days then public or private non Jewish schools. And it might be fine for a highschooler or middle schooler, but it can hard on a little kid. Of course it is not impossible but its hard. And some people might enjoy it more then others. |
Exactly what I was going to say.
Unless there's really no choice, I wouldn't make my kids have an hour+ commute each day. It's just not fair. Sometimes you don't have a choice, then the kids may get used to it eventually, but it's still not fun.
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Scrabble123
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Tue, May 05 2015, 4:11 pm
| Barbara wrote: | You apparently did. Bully for you.
We know plenty of kids whose parents tried to do commutes of that length, in a carpool or private car service. Eight I can think of off the top of my head. One family wound up moving. The rest transferred their kids to closer schools after a year. Each and every child was completely and utterly miserable with the commute, even if they loved the school itself.
High school age kids do a lot better than little ones. |
| Raisin wrote: | | don't forget most frum schools already have longer days then public or private non Jewish schools. And it might be fine for a highschooler or middle schooler, but it can hard on a little kid. Of course it is not impossible but its hard. And some people might enjoy it more then others. |
| glutenless wrote: | Exactly what I was going to say.
Unless there's really no choice, I wouldn't make my kids have an hour+ commute each day. It's just not fair. Sometimes you don't have a choice, then the kids may get used to it eventually, but it's still not fun. |
If you're trying to discuss my personal experience, I had a commute starting just before age 3. My school also started at 7:45 and continued until 4:15 from Kindergarten upwards. Is that a shorter day than frum schools? Anyways, personal experience aside, I know other individuals who are able to commute successfully.
I did not grow up on the East coast. Commuting was just so normal where I lived. Kids at my school did it. Kids at other schools did it. There were children in public schools who did it because they wanted to go to magnet schools. The children who attended Jewish schools most definitely did it. I think that it is just harder to get children to commute on the East coast where it is basically "not done" even if they are sitting on their school buses for the same amount of time as the commute would take. Barbara is obviously speaking from her personal experience with individuals who have tried it, but I think that society norms definitely had an impact on how everyone felt about the commute. That is where the attitude of the parents comes in. I know frum people near me who commute and those who choose to have their high schoolers board because they do not like the idea of commuting.
If you're trying to say that it is harder than commuting 10 minutes - well, that's obvious. I'm just saying that it is not that, "You're a neglectful, uncaring parent subjecting yourself and your children to a miserable ride. It's unfair and no one can adjust to it. Don't even think of it. etc. etc. etc." It can be done successfully, and it can be a great decision too. I'm just sharing my experience with the OP.
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MagentaYenta
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Tue, May 05 2015, 5:04 pm
| Raisin wrote: | | don't forget most frum schools already have longer days then public or private non Jewish schools. And it might be fine for a highschooler or middle schooler, but it can hard on a little kid. Of course it is not impossible but its hard. And some people might enjoy it more then others. |
And when do these commuting kids have time for play?
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amother
Goldenrod
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Tue, May 05 2015, 7:47 pm
| amother wrote: | an hour and a half is a bad day?
what is a typical day like?
Keep in mind that I commute on the subway an hour to an hour and a half each day. |
1. You're an adult, not a kid in grade school. You have more stamina and a bigger bladder.
2. That's an hour and a half each way, not total. I'm assuming you adhere to speed limits. We all know bocherim who make the Lakewood-Brooklyn run in 25 minutes from ignition-key in to ignition-key out, but you should know better. Especially with your children in the car.
3. Since you didn't say where in NJ you're looking to move or where in Bklyn you are now, how can anyone say what a "typical" day is or a bad day? A bad day might be three hours for all anyone knows. NJ may not be a big state, but still Lakewood is some 70 miles from Brooklyn as opposed to Teaneck's 22 or so. So unless you plan to travel by teleportation , the "where" makes a difference.
4. You, on the subway, can knit, read, study, snooze, daydream, write to-do lists, do the crossword, plan menus, create lesson plans, compose symphonies, plot the overthrow of the government, and, if you have no class, put on makeup and do your nails. If you have any sense of responsibility at all, when you drive you can...drive. Keep your eye on the road. Scan the side and rearview mirrors. Stay well back. Get the big picture. Anticipate other drivers' stupid moves. That takes a lot more energy than daydreaming.
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Scrabble123
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Tue, May 05 2015, 9:23 pm
| MagentaYenta wrote: | | And when do these commuting kids have time for play? |
During the school recesses, lunch, and a free period if they have one. That is definitely a con that you have to look at and evaluate if an extra hour of playtime per day is important to your child.
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sourstix
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Tue, May 05 2015, 9:25 pm
[quote="MagentaYenta"]I did commutes like that for years. I would never inflict it on kids.[/quote]
agree. its more then 55 min. I do it once in a while when I need to get some things done. I hate sitting in the car for like 1 hr 15 min. eaach way. and I am an adult.
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ROFL
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Tue, May 05 2015, 10:35 pm
| amother wrote: | | We are checking out Manalapan nj. I work in brooklyn and can technically speaking keep my job or get a new job in nearby lakewood. There are also good schooling options for the kids there, either local basis Yaakov (for girls) or nearby highland park/Edison for boys (until they open a boys yeshiva ). We are actually going for a shabbos to check it out. I spoke to the rav on the phone and he literally answered all questions very willingly and honestly. |
Manalapan is very expensive community. So they have homes there for cheap. I think Edison and Elizabeth are closer to Brooklyn and are much less expensive
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amother
Purple
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Tue, May 05 2015, 10:38 pm
| nyer1 wrote: | | aren't you also paying a lot of money in tolls every day to commute from nj to brooklyn? we were looking into elizabeth due to low housing cost and that the community sounded so nice, but the taxes were still high and the commuting cost was high as well. it was enough of a deterrent. I also felt that MOST of the people in elizabeth send to JEC… we would have sent there too, I think. so if you DON'T send there, you're a bit of an outsider… harder to meet ppl and feel involved etc. |
I live in Elizabeth and lots of people send their kids to schools other than JEC. They are very much a part of the community.
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amother
Peach
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Tue, May 05 2015, 11:08 pm
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I know people in Harrisburg, PA, who send their children to Baltimore every day for high school (this is a 70 mile or so trip). It is incredibly exhausting. And these are high schoolers.
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amother
Taupe
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Tue, May 05 2015, 11:27 pm
| amother wrote: | | I live in Elizabeth and lots of people send their kids to schools other than JEC. They are very much a part of the community. |
OP here.
Yes, we are thinking about Elizabeth.
Practically speaking (never mind what Google says), how long is the actual commute during rush hour?
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amother
Purple
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Tue, May 05 2015, 11:51 pm
Brooklyn to Elizabeth takes more than an hour at times an hour and a half Construction on the Staten Island expressway is ongoing for the last ten years or more.
I know the streets in Staten Island and there are times I get off the highway and am able to cut time off the commute.
But the best is in the summer and when public schools are closed then we can get to Brooklyn in less than 45 minutes. ( sometimes I can get there in a half hour)
The price for the tolls is also outrageous but at least gas is a lot cheaper in NJ.
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