Placing twins in the same class - would you?

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amother

Brunette

Thu, May 07 2015, 8:51 am

We don't have many choices where to send. There's one school with parallel classes, but I've heard a lot of mixed reviews (negative) on the school.

I was going to send them both to a smaller school that would be the best fit for us, but people keep criticizing me. They say to rather send to two different schools.

I really don't feel comfortable with that. Besides for the technical things like dealing with two different school boards, different rules, different vacation days... I really want them both in the same school.

But is it really bad? Am I (potentially) hurting my kids by putting them in the same class? Has anyone had any experience?

(They're very different. Two entirely different people)

amother

Linen

Thu, May 07 2015, 8:58 am

When I went to school, there was a rule (in elementary) that twins would not be placed in the same class. In general, there are a lot of good reasons to keep them separate, but none of those reasons are compelling enough to put them in different schools just because one school has only one class. Put them in the school you like, and make a plan for dealing with the issues that may crop up due to them sharing a class and make sure the teacher is on board.

amother

Wine

Thu, May 07 2015, 9:08 am

I have twins in same class (elem). No other option where I live. There are definite disadvantages, esp. if different academic levels, but there are also advantages! I definitely think putting in two different schools would be a bigger disadvantage than having them in the same class...

musicmom

Thu, May 07 2015, 9:26 am

I am a public school music teacher and teach hundreds of kids in my school. I have many sets of twins, and have seen them separated and not separated. The main issue that I have found is not one of social development, but when the students reach a certain age (sometimes 6th) they do feel comfortable switching places for the teacher, especially when it involves one of them getting in trouble and the other one taking the blame for him or her. My students wear uniforms, but there must be something a concerned parent could do to make sure this never happens. Any article or color of clothing that the teacher could use to tell the twins apart, or a very severe warning of why the twins should never switch places on the teacher.

Ruchel

Thu, May 07 2015, 9:37 am

When I grew up suddenly there was this trend of separating twins. Twins were NOT happy.

imaima

Thu, May 07 2015, 9:39 am

I don't see twins very happy with this set up.
If you say that they are different, maybe it is not necessary to separate them.
Starting school is hard enough, it helps to help a sibling in the same class to be there for you.

Iymnok

Thu, May 07 2015, 9:45 am

List the pros and cons, the smaller school is better, would the child sent to the game inferior school feel disliked? How reliant are they on each other? Would there be to much competition? Does it ne follow the other, never forming her own path?

amother

Brunette

Thu, May 07 2015, 9:48 am

musicmom wrote:

lAny article or color of clothing that the teacher could use to tell the twins apart, or a very severe warning of why the twins should never switch places on the teacher.

They're not identical.

Sanguine

Thu, May 07 2015, 10:08 am

Quote:

I was going to send them both to a smaller school that would be the best fit for us, but people keep criticizing me. They say to rather send to two different schools.

I really don't feel comfortable with that. Besides for the technical things like dealing with two different school boards, different rules, different vacation days... I really want them both in the same school.

I don't have twins but I know a lot of twins so I must be an expert too Very Happy

. Don't pay attention to the people who are criticizing you. You have Imamother for all the advice you need.

Now for my advice... Every set of twins are different just like every child is different. Only you know your children. Follow your heart. From the info you gave I think it's a no-brainer to put them both in the smaller one class school. Remember, if it doesn't work out at some point you can switch one. I once knew teenage girls twins. They were best friends and shared everything including friends. In about 10th grade one of them had to switch schools. She told me that she really wasn't doing any work in school if her twin was there. She counted on the fact that her twin would take notes in class, help her get to the answers fast.... Her parents were paying 2 tuitions but only one child was learning. So that was in high school. It's not like this twin faked for 9 years. You just have to be aware if the time to split them up comes (people criticizing you isn't your sign to split them)

amother

Saddlebrown

Thu, May 07 2015, 10:10 am

My MIL A"H was a twin, and in the small town she grew up in, her parents separated them by putting her twin ahead by 1 grade.

Don't do this. It had life-long repercussions to her self-esteem.

rowo

Thu, May 07 2015, 10:12 am

If the small school suits your family better, why not start there? You are not locking yourselves in there until graduation.
I'd probably just try to stay in close contact with the teachers and work with them to best help your kids.

amother

Brunette

Thu, May 07 2015, 10:14 am

Iymnok wrote:

The smaller school is a lot better, and a better fit for us.
The older one is smarter, the younger is more social (and hyperactive at times as well). The lively one would have an easier time socially in the big school, but the small school has much better approaches and strategies for these type of kids. The older one might feel lost and have a hard time socially in the big school.
They are very different. But I find the older one often "babying" the other one, like giving in. But not always.
I don't find them following each other. Although I can't know because they've never been at school yet. The only scenario I can think of is the park. When I take them, they each run their own way, occasionally looking for the other one.

amother

Ginger

Thu, May 07 2015, 10:22 am

I have fraternal twin girls. They were separated starting in PreK and it was good for them, as one was more dominant and it allowed the other one to shine and develop herself. But we switched schools when they started 3rd grade and this school had 2 classes per grade, BUT they were tracked by ability. Both of my girls were to be put in the higher class. I was so nervous, but honestly, it was absolutely no big deal at all. The teachers were used to it, my girls are similar academically and it went really really well.

Now, had then been very different academically, then it would have been tough. I do know a set of twins who were put in different grades, as one has some issues. But IMHO the mother should have held both back, as they were close to the cutoff anyway. I think down the line it will be awful for them, but those are not my children.

I now home-school my children, so it is not an issue,. but they will likely go to high school and I assume the high-school will place them kin the best classes for their needs, either together or apart.

JMM-uc

Thu, May 07 2015, 10:23 am

I'm a twin and my answer is a big fat NO.

amother

Ginger

Thu, May 07 2015, 10:23 am

I will add, they were together for 3 years in preschool and it was mostly fine. Not 100% but fine.

amother

Brunette

Thu, May 07 2015, 10:25 am

I think I should add, they are boys. Is it easier with boys? Or is there the same competition as there is with girls?

amother

Tangerine

Thu, May 07 2015, 10:33 am

I taught a class with twins in it. Do not do it under any circumstance. It's a bad bad idea for so many reasons.

sushi galore

Thu, May 07 2015, 10:37 am

2 different schools means 2 different chinuchs. I know someone who did it and regrets it badly. They grew up world's apart. It may be better to send to a school with 2 parallels. Start off in same class and see how they develop, you can always split parallel but different schools doesn't seem a great idea.

Chayalle

Thu, May 07 2015, 10:53 am

amother wrote:

I do know a set of twins who were put in different grades, as one has some issues. But IMHO the mother should have held both back, as they were close to the cutoff anyway. I think down the line it will be awful for them, but those are not my children.

One twin should never be held back just because of the other twin. But perhaps that child should have been held back anyway, on his/her own.

kollel wife

Thu, May 07 2015, 11:55 am

I guess I'm qualified to answer because ... I am a twin.

Over the years we were sometimes in the same class and sometimes not. Overall I think it was a big benefit to have my sister in my class. It was a built in friend. Especially when starting school to begin with not knowing anyone else.

Eventually we each had our own friends and sometimes we joined together and sometimes not.
I would definitely recommend putting twins together!!!
I definitely preferred it - not just a little bit !!!
There can be competition among students. There may be someone if your class you are competing with or maybe none at all. Not really predicatable.

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