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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children
Placing twins in the same class - would you?
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amother
Fuchsia


 

Post Thu, May 07 2015, 9:42 am
I'm a twin. My sister always did much better academically than I did. Like, she would study for half an hour and get 100 and I would study for four hours and get a 75 on the same test. It was not easy, I don't have fond memories of elementary school. We were always in separate classes, and it was still hard for me, being in the same class would have been a disaster. High school was a little easier, because all the classes had the same teachers and learned the same material so we were able to study together, and I had my own built-in tutor. Marks were very important to my parents and I always felt like an utter failure while my sister made them so proud. We were also enrolled in the same extra-curricular type of stuff, like swimming and piano lessons, and many times my sister would do better than me with those as well. Not fun. I'm so happy that awful part of my life is over. Now that we're both busy with kids and homemaking and on equal footing, so to speak, it's such a relief, and we're both super-duper close.
BTW, I never felt jealous of my sister, she always was my best friend, and I love her, it was more that I was extremely resentful of my parents for not appreciating me for my talents and abilities (I'm quite artistic and much more social able than my sister.) My sister is very similar to my mother in personality, she inherited her brains, I guess my mother had a hard time relating to a child that was so different from herself.
I guess my point is, whichever decision you make for your twins, what matters more is how you, as their mother, build them up and appreciate them as individuals. Being in the same class or not won't matter as much if they are confident in themselves and their own abilities and know they are loved no matter what.
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amother
Denim


 

Post Thu, May 07 2015, 11:12 am
I can't see how anyone can give you their opinion, they don't know your twins. Even you are still learning who they are as they grow. I had the option of parallel classes for my twins but in preschool they were together, according to the teachers, it was a big mistake .One was very competitive and would be upset if the other got something she didnt.
If you keep them together make sure there is someone very experienced keeping tabs on their development.
Hatzlocha !and enjoy the greatest bracha of twins.
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amother
Gray


 

Post Thu, May 07 2015, 11:13 am
I'm a twin. We're very different. We don't look alike at all to the point where teachers didn't know we were related at all!
I'm better academically while my sister is better socially.
We were in the same class. Worked out very well.
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amother
Natural


 

Post Thu, May 07 2015, 11:47 am
amother wrote:
I'm a twin. My sister always did much better academically than I did. Like, she would study for half an hour and get 100 and I would study for four hours and get a 75 on the same test. It was not easy, I don't have fond memories of elementary school. We were always in separate classes, and it was still hard for me, being in the same class would have been a disaster. High school was a little easier, because all the classes had the same teachers and learned the same material so we were able to study together, and I had my own built-in tutor. Marks were very important to my parents and I always felt like an utter failure while my sister made them so proud. We were also enrolled in the same extra-curricular type of stuff, like swimming and piano lessons, and many times my sister would do better than me with those as well. Not fun. I'm so happy that awful part of my life is over. Now that we're both busy with kids and homemaking and on equal footing, so to speak, it's such a relief, and we're both super-duper close.
BTW, I never felt jealous of my sister, she always was my best friend, and I love her, it was more that I was extremely resentful of my parents for not appreciating me for my talents and abilities (I'm quite artistic and much more social able than my sister.) My sister is very similar to my mother in personality, she inherited her brains, I guess my mother had a hard time relating to a child that was so different from herself.
I guess my point is, whichever decision you make for your twins, what matters more is how you, as their mother, build them up and appreciate them as individuals. Being in the same class or not won't matter as much if they are confident in themselves and their own abilities and know they are loved no matter what.


Thank you so much for this post. My boy twins are different from one another at a young age and I really worry that one will have a hard time, particularly the smaller one. Your post helped me realize how important it is that we love and appreciate them for who they are
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amother
Blue


 

Post Thu, May 07 2015, 6:59 pm
There is no "twin rule". Every set of twins is different. My twins (fraternal) are one of three sets of twins in their grade. Each other family separated their twins - I agreed to separate my twins when they asked to - up until this point they were adamant about staying together.
Every teacher they had said they never had twins like them - they didnt interfere with each other, had different friends and were overall happy.
This year, they started asking to be separated - we gave a trial seperation and they were happy so we will stick with it.
Follow your kids - not what the general "norm" is.
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amother
White


 

Post Thu, May 07 2015, 7:43 pm
Im a fraternal twin..
I found as a general rule that identicals got along together well and fraternals not...

There was only 1 school where we lived. kindergarten was the only class with 2 classes... from 1-8 grade we were together.. Now we are VERY different...Dont look related at all and personalities completely different. We were always compared, put together for everythihng that required partners and we HATED being together.. For us being home together was enough...but why in school too? There was another set of(identical) twins in the class and they got together really well, loved to be together and were great for team work... Anyways..In 8th grade I was so sick of it(and other things) so I switched schools.. I went out of state and enjoyed very much. Now, 8 years later we are starting to get along for once(and hopefully for all)...
You know your twins...
According to your options I would think that its best to put them together in the smaller school and if there ever will be a second class for their age, ask them if they would like to be in two diff classes...

I cried in 2nd grade to switch schools... I liked going/learning to/in Lubavitch school but couldnt stand being there... My mother never listened or cared(literally!) so listen to what they tell you... their feelings are real. if something bothers them about being together, at least show tht you care and do what you can even if switching schools is not going to be an option....they need to se that you understand what they aregoing through
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chani8




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, May 08 2015, 12:01 am
amother wrote:
We don't have many choices where to send. There's one school with parallel classes, but I've heard a lot of mixed reviews (negative) on the school.

I was going to send them both to a smaller school that would be the best fit for us, but people keep criticizing me. They say to rather send to two different schools.

I really don't feel comfortable with that. Besides for the technical things like dealing with two different school boards, different rules, different vacation days... I really want them both in the same school.

But is it really bad? Am I (potentially) hurting my kids by putting them in the same class? Has anyone had any experience?

(They're very different. Two entirely different people)


My twins loved being together, and it was even better when their big sister was in the same school.

Simply explain to the teacher that you don't want any comparisons between your children.

Anyone who compares kids against each other doesn't know basic child psychology. (edited)
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