Dif strokes for dif folks

Bitachon101

Fri, May 08 2015, 9:05 am

It's interesting, we sometimes think that just because something is no big deal for us it surely is no big deal for someone else.
My family is the type that its no big deal to give an extra person a ride a few min out of the way, or drop something off somewhere if you're out anyway, bring a care pkg to someone's relative when visiting that town, etc.

I just had an incident where I asked someone I'm on very close terms with if they could do 1 of 2 small favors that I almost positively would have done with out batting an eyelash for them.

They gave every excuse they could come up with to get out of the favor and when I realized they considered it a huge burden I told them no problem, don't worry abt it. I kind of felt weird like I know they would have asked me to do the same for them and I would have gone out of my way to do it for them.

But it made me think. There are some things that are a big deal for me that aren't for others like early morning tasks or making supper for people or having a lot of guests to feed and maybe people think I'm not nice when I don't offer these things...

Just a thought....

Simple1

Fri, May 08 2015, 11:25 am

Sometimes it just depends on the circumstances. I would find it no big deal to give a ride when I'm not in a rush. But at times when the schedule extremely crazy tight, that same favor would be a big deal.

Bitachon101

Sat, May 09 2015, 9:24 pm

Simple1 wrote:

I hear that and I'm the same way.
But sometimes its just a matter of something being a burden. When someones in a rush they say I'm in a rush and its clear that they are not just "getting out of it".

But when someone starts giving one excuse and then switches to another and then another, its like enough with the excuses. I get it. Its a big deal for u. Just say it.
I guess I'm just open and straight. When someone asks me to make Sheva brachos or something for it at a hard time for me, I just say it that its a bad time for me and the kitchen is not my space. No excuses. And if I can I do it but I always am honest that complicates fancy recipes are too much for me.
So I like when other ppl are just honest and open. I may not understand why bringing a letter/note to somewhere you are going anyway is a shlep but if its hard for you or you're embarrassed, just tell me and I'll try to get it.

busydev

Sat, May 09 2015, 9:30 pm

Totally. It works both ways. there are things that I think are a HUGE deal so I feel terrible to even ask someone and they say sure np not a biggie and there are things that I think are easy to do, but others dont. Its dependent on so many factors and each person has different things that are big burdens or not a big deal. and there is also things that I usually would do no problem, but sometimes its just not a good time.