How to tell rebbetzin of playgroup about our upcoming vaca

amother

Wine

Sun, May 10 2015, 11:48 pm

My almost 3 year old daughter is in a playgroup run by a very nice but dare I say it nosy rebbetzin. We were supposed to go to Orlando a few months ago but canceled the trip last minute because I got the flu. At that time, we told the rebbetzin that we were going away, since DD was going to miss a good few days of school. She asked us "if you don't mind me asking, where are you going?" Frankly, I did mind her asking because I don't to be considered "modern" and also because where we go is our private business. I got out of that by saying oh we're not going in the end. We rescheduled the trip for this week. I'm going to have to call her tomorrow to tell her DD will be out of school for a week. What can I say to the inevitable "where are you going?" without saying where we're going and without being chutzpadik about it?

TIA Smile

DrMom

Mon, May 11 2015, 1:13 am

It's "modern" to go to Florida? And "modern" of course = "bad"...

Anyway, just say you are going away for a few days. I don't see why you have to stress about telling/not teling her. If she presses the issue, and you want to avoid confrontation, wiggle out of it by diverting her attention:

"Just a little getaway. The point is, my DD won't be at playgroup next week, and we just wanted you to know ahead of time. You know, DD really loves the playgroup. You are doing such a geat job running it! I hear so many horror stories of playgroups that are not run well. It's such a bracha to be able to leave my daughter in capable hands."

BTW, if she's really nosy and persistent, she may ask your daughter about your trip when you are not around. You should prepare yourself for this situation, if there really is some issue with going to (gasp) *Florida*. shock

Barbara

Mon, May 11 2015, 9:35 am

DrMom wrote:

I'd be pretty shocked if her DD didn't talk about going to Disney when she comes home.

IMNSHO, it's pretty normal to ask where someone is going when they mention they're going away for a few days. But if OP doesn't want to answer, she doesn't have to.

good times

Mon, May 11 2015, 9:55 am

You can call when shes not home and leave a message. divert the conversation when you see her in person, be in a rush, just have to ask her something quickly. or you could say you'd rather not talk about it

amother

Wine

Mon, May 11 2015, 12:12 pm

I know my daughter may talk about it on her own; in fact it's possible she did already and that's fine. I just don't want them to ask me outright 'where are you going?' because I just think it's a little of a personal question. I think I would feel similarly if we going to my sister in Detroit- it's just none of your business Very Happy

Regarding the poster who mentioned that it's normal to ask where are you going when someone says they are going away for a few days, that is the case with friends but with someone whom you have a more professional relationship with (think your boss) it's a little inappropriate.

imaima

Mon, May 11 2015, 12:20 pm

amother wrote:

It's just a person who is substituting a mother in your daughter's life for several hours a day, not more than that.

Miri7

Mon, May 11 2015, 2:51 pm

I don't think it's particularly nosy behavior to ask the mom of a child whom you care for about where family is going. Typically the Morah will want to know this and talk with child about it. Kids will often draw a picture or share something with the other kids about a trip.

When we were going to the beach the Morah asked my DD to bring some sand or seashells to share with the group.

Overall I find it a pretty innocent question. A Morah really straddles the line between professional/personal relationship as she plays such an important role in the child's life.

The Morah would definitely want to know if the trip involved visiting a sick relative or a new baby - these can be significant in the child's emotional life and the Morah should know.

amother

Tangerine

Mon, May 11 2015, 2:57 pm

dont make a big deal about it!
just say very naturally that were going away for a few days for a most needed break!
shell get the hint and I dont think well ask you for exact details!

gold21

Mon, May 11 2015, 9:09 pm

It would be weird if she didn't ask. Don't confuse "friendly" with "nosy"- a friendly warm morah is a good thing.

By the way... speaking from a Litvish Bais Yaakov background... Florida isn't modern. There's a few nice frum communities in Florida.