Dad calls police after realizing he left baby in car

oliveoil

Fri, May 15 2015, 6:57 am

Raisin wrote:

I hope they don't do anything stupid like arrest him. This would discourage other parents from notifying the authorities if the same thing happens.

I read and watched a different article & video clip about it, and it certainly didn't seem like they had any thoughts of arresting him.

Sadly, also yesterday I read & watched about a woman who got a text from her husband saying goodbye and apologizing for what he was about to do - kill himself - while she was on an airplane waiting for takeoff. She tried to call him and the stewardess repeatedly knocked the phone out of her hand and told her she's not allowed to, and refused to call police to go check on him. When she arrived home, it was too late.

Raisin

Fri, May 15 2015, 8:40 am

the world's best mom wrote:

But so many other parents did have charges against them for this, because their kids died. Luckily, this man caught it before it was too late, but he still made the same mistake as all the others. I don't think any of them should have any charges against them, unless they realized that they were leaving the kid in the car.

BIG difference in remembering 25 minutes later or 8 hours later. I'm sure this happens many many times that a parent remembers half an hour later that their kid is in the car and goes back for them. The reason this made it to the news is that the father thought the police could get their faster then him.

But yes I agree a parent should not be prosecuted for this. Losing a child is punishment enough...imprisonment will not help.

gp2.0

Fri, May 15 2015, 9:09 am

the world's best mom wrote:

That's why they charge them, so they can investigate to find out if it was done on purpose or by mistake. Did anyone actually serve time for manslaughter when it was investigated and found to be an honest mistake? I vividly remember a 911 call where the mother was screaming and hysterical. It was too late for her baby. They played it for the jury. She didn't serve time.

There was another where the mom was very cool and calm. They had a harder time convincing the jury she hadn't meant to do it. They brought a witness to testify that because she was in the military, she had a strong grip on her emotions and might sound detached even if she's dying inside.

There are sadly some parents who would do this on purpose so it always needs to be investigated when a child dies.

amother

Floralwhite

Fri, May 15 2015, 9:21 am

It is so scary.
the other day, my son was angry at me for not letting him have a playdate and after we all left the car he stayed in and refused to come out...
So I took everyone in the house and just left the van door open...
well about five minutes later I thought I heard him in the house and went to close the van door.
about ten minutes later I hear the car alarm going off- I freaked out! omg I closed the door on him!
I quickly opened the door and he was crying hysterical!
It was traumatizing for both of us.
I told him if it would ever happen again he should honk the horn again and again.
bh he was playing around with the buttons and trying to open the doors so the alarm went off and alerted me!!
I realized how easily this could happen.
anyone have ideas of how this could be avoided?

Sadie

Fri, May 15 2015, 9:22 am

gp2.0 wrote:

I think those cases you're talking about are from this article: http://www.washingtonpost.com/......html

It is such a difficult and heartbreaking article to read but so important for anyone who thinks that this can't happen to them.
It explains how it happens to even good and attentive parents, meaning, how our brains work so that we are able forget something as important as a baby.
A good tip is to keep something you need like your purse or your phone near the baby so that you will have to go into the backseat before you leave the car.
Or put a stuffed toy in the front seat next to you whenever you have the baby in the car.

the world's best mom

Fri, May 15 2015, 10:50 am

This was in the article Sadie posted. "According to statistics compiled by a national childs’ safety advocacy group, in about 40 percent of cases authorities examine the evidence, determine that the child’s death was a terrible accident -- a mistake of memory that delivers a lifelong sentence of guilt far greater than any a judge or jury could mete out -- and file no charges. In the other 60 percent of the cases, parsing essentially identical facts and applying them to essentially identical laws, authorities decide that the negligence was so great and the injury so grievous that it must be called a felony, and it must be aggressively pursued."

I do not believe that 60 percent of these people left their children in the car on purpose. They are charged because "the injury was so grievous..." But why should that be a deciding factor? If two people left their kids in the car and one was lucky enough to have parked in the shade on a cool day while the other parked in the sun when it was ninety degrees, is the second person more at fault? His kid will definitely be more injured, but he wasn't the one controlling the heat/sun. My heart goes out to all of these people, regardless of what the courts decide. Why make it worse by turning them into criminals?

FranticFrummie

Fri, May 15 2015, 9:10 pm

the world's best mom wrote:

The laws are really poorly written on this. In Washington state, you cannot leave a child under 18 alone in a car without an adult. shock

Authorities need to understand the difference between leaving an infant in a hot car on purpose, and leaving a 16 year old in the car on a cool day, for 5 minutes while you run into the store. Right now, they are viewed as being pretty much the same thing. http://www.freerangekids.com/a.....mins/

Oddly enough, a 12 year old is considered mature enough to babysit in WA, but not mature enough to roll down a window, open a car door, or honk the horn for help.

I think it's ridiculous that a parent can be prosecuted because "something might have happened", even though nothing happened and the child is completely fine. If imaginary boogiemen are enough to make anyone a criminal, then we are all doomed. You left the blech on all of Shabbos? You could have burned the house down! Lets arrest everyone for potential arson. You let your kid walk one block over to a friend's house? Let's arrest everyone for abandonment and endangerment! Someone asked your kid for directions? They must be an axe murderer!

Banging head

Seriously, I do not want to live in this type of world, and I refuse to contribute to they "fear industry."

Tzutzie

Sun, May 17 2015, 2:00 am

Our kids were once mistakenly locked into the car w the keys inside (not in the engine) we had an older kid keeping an eye on them for 2 minutes while we took some stuff from the house. My little nephew closed the door and it locked. My older niece came to tell us right away. I freaked out and called hatzola. The car was unlocked in less than 7 minutes from when it was locked. The weather was pleasant and the kids were just fine. But I had night mares for DAYS.

Stuff happens. We are human. And that's why we have to make a fool proof safeguard AND STICK TO IT EVEN WHEN THE KIDS ARE NOT IN THE CAR. So that if we chv forget put that wallet or phone or whatever it is in their seats, It should be second nature to check.

May Hashem watch over is and our precious children.

LittleDucky

Sun, May 17 2015, 2:13 am

FranticFrummie wrote:

The laws are really poorly written on this. In Washington state, you cannot leave a child under 18 alone in a car without an adult. shock

Seriously, I do not want to live in this type of world, and I refuse to contribute to they "fear industry."

+100000000000000000000000. Feel the same.
We have infantalized, with some of these laws, our kids to a point where they are unable to do basic life tasks! What are we doing?? Why worry and prosecute over "it could have been worse". We should figure out what our kids are physically, developmentally, psychologically ready for based on their maturity level- not some worst case scenario!
I was watching my siblings home alone way before I was 12 (very level headed and mature) way before cell phones existed. Nothing happened-I even stopped them from eating all the cookies. I knew what to do in an emergency. Neighbors were home and I could always call Dad at the office or in true emergency 911. Today-that's a CPS case. My parents would get mandatory counseling, parenting classes and be threatened with much worse.

Anyone read "The Girl Who Owned a City"? Which type of kids are we raising? Will they survive or are they going to be bewildered, staring at their non-working IPhones?