Hasidic woman has first kid at 65

debsey

Tue, May 19 2015, 4:12 pm

oliveoil wrote:

I wonder who will raise the kid. By the time the kid is 15, the mom will be 80.

I'm fairly sure that this mom, with her 65 years of life experience, has thought of that problem and has contingencies in place. The nice part of being a member of a Chassidus is there is usually a good social support network.

Raisin

Tue, May 19 2015, 4:15 pm

moonstone wrote:

I'll ignore your first sentence, which was unnecessarily mean and nasty, and not at all what I said, and ask you what makes you think she'll live longer just because she had a baby so late in life? What a random thing to say! In fact, you could argue that the stress this put on her body, plus the stress of raising a child at her age, will have the opposite effect. They should all live long, healthy lives! But I think that statement is ridiculous.

there is actually a scientific study that women who give birth later in life live longer. give me a minute and I can google that for you. I'm not sure it is relevant in this case, (being through ivf, presumably not her own egg or an egg she froze many years ago) but it may indeed be.

never mind, I see others linked to the same study.

Last edited by Raisin on Tue, May 19 2015, 4:17 pm; edited 1 time in total

grace413

Tue, May 19 2015, 4:16 pm

Rubber Ducky wrote:

I can only imagine the discussion we'd have here about Sarah Imeinu.

While Hashem indeed has the capability to perform open miracles, these days most miracles are more hidden and done derech hateva.

nylon

Tue, May 19 2015, 4:22 pm

grace413 wrote:

The law in Israel is that fertility treatments can't be done for women over age 54.

I believe there is also a lower age limit for doing IVF with a woman's own eggs as opposed to donor eggs.

That limit is biological. In the US, almost no clinics will take a woman over 45 with her own eggs, same in UK. The rates are too low for IVF (you are actually statistically more likely to have a spontaneous pregnancy than an IVF pregnancy after age 42-43 because older eggs are fragile and don't respond to the stimulation and manipulation of IVF). You don't need a law for it, either, aside from the law on fraud. Even where it isn't regulated, clinics won't do it.

Also keep in mind that it's ALWAYS controversial when women this old get DEIVF. And there's a reason they wind up in Russia, because even when the law doesn't stop them, clinics say no. American clinics don't like it either. REs are in the business of telling women "no" all the time. These cases also give a lot of women false hope about what is possible.

Doctors have an ethical duty to their patients. The physical strain of pregnancy on the cardiovascular system, joints, etc is serious. Older women are more likely to already have cardiovascular issues.

fleetwood

Tue, May 19 2015, 6:53 pm

As per my earlier post, What I meant was that you do not need to keep having treatments in order to be considered doing your histadlut. Just trying naturally is hishtadlut, there is no requirement to do more than that. After years of treatments, when I stopped because the doctor said, there was no hope, I was, and am still doing my hishtadlut!! And fulfilling my mitzvah!

Ema of 5

Tue, May 19 2015, 6:59 pm

imaima wrote:

I didn't attack you, I just point it out that being frum, they probably felt obligated to keep on trying regardless of age.

I didn't say you attacked me. Just that you missed my point. I didn't say anything about their desire or obligation, just that to continue with treatments was a CHOICE.

Ema of 5

Tue, May 19 2015, 7:10 pm

Frumdoc wrote:

I've seen women who carried on having multiple children after being paralysed from waist down, and wheelchair bound, or are blind, or deaf, or have a short life expectancy.

Do people judge them for their choices and call them irresponsible? I guess you do, because you can't imagine a good parent being anything other than cookie cutter.

I would say mazal tov, the same as I did here, and say the same thing about having a good support system. Hat doesn't take away from my good wishes.

mirror

Tue, May 19 2015, 11:07 pm

Zehava wrote:

She is my grandmothers age and I have kids. Also, she did the treatment in Russia with donated sperm. Because it's illegal in Israel to treat a woman at this age. So biologically this man isn't even the baby's biological father. Maybe it was always his problem and they could never get a heter to use donated sperm.

Last edited by mirror on Wed, May 20 2015, 12:12 am; edited 2 times in total

mirror

Tue, May 19 2015, 11:49 pm

Mevater wrote:

Wondering if the child will ever know who the father was. Thats a big issue.

What's scarier are the child's shidduch prospects. The Chassidim are super careful about Yichus when it comes to Shidduchim.

As it is, there is a big shidduch crisis among Chassidish men because there are not enough Chassidish women. So a Chassidish boy with questionable Yichus will probably face difficulties.

I feel sorry for the child when he gets older.

mirror

Wed, May 20 2015, 12:14 am

kitov wrote:

Why was the fact that it was donated sperm made public? I would assume it is a very private matter.
on the other hand, who says it was not her dh's sperm in the first place?

This article:

http://www.jta.org/2015/05/18/.....ge-65

Quote:

Schachar, who is Hasidic, had been trying to get pregnant since marrying over 45 years ago. The baby, delivered by Caesarean section, was conceived with donated or purchased sperm.

If it's wrong, then the woman can sue for slander.

Tablepoetry

Wed, May 20 2015, 6:16 am

In any case, in Israel, legally and halachically, the assumption is it's the husband's sperm. I believe they mix his sperm (however nonviable) with the donor sperm, so that there's at least a miniscule chance he's the father. Paternity tests are not conducted, of course.

Debbie

Wed, May 20 2015, 6:25 am

kitov wrote:

Why was the fact that it was donated sperm made public? I would assume it is a very private matter.
on the other hand, who says it was not her dh's sperm in the first place?

I read that it was a sperm donor, and I would assume that as this lady was 65,she had surely been through the menopause and therefore an egg donor would have been used.

However this baby came about -and I admit to having mixed feelings about this story- I wish the family mazel and brocha.

finallyamommy

Wed, May 20 2015, 7:19 am

Debbie wrote:

It could have been frozen eggs from when she was younger.