Son forged my signature on school prize sheet - WWYD?

ValleyMom

Wed, May 20 2015, 11:04 am

As a teacher of young children I believe he needs to write a "letter" of apology and hand deliver it to the teacher and apologize verbally as well.

These types of contests encourage positive behavior in many children but it alas brings out the ugly side of human nature which involves greed.

Your son is perfectly normal and there is no need to start saving $$ for therapists.

Something I do with my students is share personal anecdotes where I had a dilemma where I needed to STOP for a minute and think things through and not react impulsively.

The act of sharing a scenario and your thinking process step by step is very helpful with young children:

"I really wanted to win the writing contest and I knew I could IF I just copied a few paragraphs from the book and pretended it was my own...."

Continue with the inner conversation you had with yourself:

"How could they possibly find out I copied a few lines? Does my teacher really KNOW every book in the library?"

"I just want that new iPad so badly. I never had an iPad and my parents said that they were not buying one this year.'

Then continue with what may happen as a result of my copying...

Role play and modeling HOW the thought process and inner dialogue happens is very powerful for young kids.

Good luck to you!
I will say this... do NOT make the consequence SO overwhelming that the child will focus on ways never to get caught instead of feeling remorseful of his actions.

tovasara

Wed, May 20 2015, 11:52 am

I think someone mentioned above - these charts lend themselves to inaccurate reporting. My son had a learning chart to fill in for Pesach vacation. He filled in the duration of his learning for the days he learned and then had me sign it. But I realized that he could then backfill some of the boxes after my signature was on it. So I put lines through all the empty boxes. He asked me why, and I openly said so he isn't tempted to report something that isn't true.

I definietely think the 7 year old needs to understand what he did wrong. I suggest giving him an opportunity to earn the prixe in retrospect - this will show him that you don't (or shouldn't) get something for nothing. He also may learn from that how easy it would have been to do the things he entered on the chart.

mummiedearest

Wed, May 20 2015, 12:06 pm

I actually get really annoyed at schools for having these contests. I really feel a lot of these contests should be the parents' responsibility to implement, not the schools. why does the school have to be the ultimate authority on honoring one's parents, avoiding secular media, wearing a white shirt on rosh chodesh, etc? and what's with all the yom tov/shabbos homework?

and yes, some kids NEVER win contests and feel bad about it. the contests for getting high grades pretty much reward the kids who are good students already. in order to win any contest, actually, the kids have to have a certain organizational skill. you can be the most respectful kid, but if you forget to fill in the chart/lose the chart/forget to have mom or dad sign it, you will never win. these contests don't bring out kids' "ugly" sides, they make these kids feel awful. all the kid wants is the prize and a little recognition. I don't blame a kid one bit for forging a signature, and I wouldn't make him embarrass himself further by giving a written and verbal apology to the teacher. he just needs to understand that what he did was dishonest. if he wants the prize, repeat the contest at home.

5*Mom

Wed, May 20 2015, 1:26 pm

mummiedearest wrote:

And THIS!

saw50st8

Wed, May 20 2015, 1:50 pm

mummiedearest wrote:

I agree about the overarching reach of the schools. However, once this contest is in place, the child should have some consequence for doing wrong.

He can repeat the contest at home in addition to apologizing in some form.

mummiedearest

Wed, May 20 2015, 4:56 pm

saw50st8 wrote:

I think he's already received a consequence. his attempt failed, and he is (likely) embarrassed by the principal calling mom. "I'm telling your mommy on you" is a legitimate fear for kids that age.