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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Preschoolers
Desperate for advice - Bedtime problems



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Redbird




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, May 19 2015, 11:18 pm
Evenings have become a MASSIVE struggle with my 3 year old. And it leaves me drained, and shes not getting enough sleep.

1st of all she sometimes has insomnia, where even if she lays down nicely sometimes takes over two hours to fall asleep.

2nd she has this new thing, she REFUSES to eat supper. I battle and bribe and threaten and hold back my anger for every single bite, and then I’ll have to make her a smoothie or give her some snack because it probably wasn’t enough.

Once I finish the bedtime routine and get her all relaxed, or she’s lying in bed quietly for like 45 minutes shell say she’s hungry and ONLY THEN she eats supper nicely. AARGH – I feel like pulling out my hair!!

And sometimes she does the same thing with the bathroom – she insists she doesn’t have to go “but I tried making” and then an hour after she lies down, she’s about to have an accident.

My husband thinks I should force-feed or scream at her to scare into changing –– “whatever it takes – she needs nutrition!” which I believe is horrible thing for a parent to do. But that’s a whole other topic.

Any advice? PLEEEEEEEEASE!
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amother
Smokey


 

Post Tue, May 19 2015, 11:37 pm
what is her general sleep schedule? Is she napping during the day? When is bedtime and when is her typical wake time?

I serve my 3yo supper and then let him eat whatever he eats. some days its 2 bites, if and some days its a full plate. If he doesnt eat then thats it- no bribing or forcing. When its bed time he goes to bed. no eating after that, only a drink of water. Sometimes at bedtime he says he doesnt need to use the bathroom- he "just" made, so I tell him that I dont want him to have an accident and he must try while I count slowly to 15. sometimes he does actually go, sometimes not (and then he doesnt have an accident)

I wouldnt bribe or force or make food into a struggle. If she cant eat after bed then she will learn for next time.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, May 19 2015, 11:56 pm
OP, you stole my sig line!

I agree, do NOT force her to eat. She'll learn quickly enough that it's time to eat when everyone else eats.
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amother
Cyan


 

Post Wed, May 20 2015, 12:12 am
I agree with the above amother

Some points-
-If she naps during the day, that might be the problem. My 3 y.o. usually doesn't nap, but when she does, she cannot fall asleep for a loooooong time
-You can put on a story CD, have some books nearby - when she falls asleep, she falls asleep. But she cannot come out of bed
-Suppertime may be too early. I switched suppertime from before baths to after and it's been surprisingly a good move.
-I sometimes offer my kids a healthy snack before bedtime and make it clear and they can eat now. In ten minutes, snacktime is over and the next time they eat is breakfast. She's old enough to understand
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chani8




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 20 2015, 4:22 am
You're micromanaging her life and not letting her have enough control, so she's trying to take control by being so difficult.

Stop worrying about the food. Let her go to bed hungry.

Put her to bed later, even as late as 9pm. And perhaps try sleepy time drops to help her relax.
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