Refuses to get haircuts.... help

Bitachon101

Wed, May 20 2015, 10:13 pm

My 3.5 year old refuses to get hair cuts.
He is petrified, and even though he has seen that nothing happens to him when its cut he still throws a royal tantrum and won't get haircuts. His hair is really desperate for another cut...
Is there any place in Lakewood that is so super duper kid friendly with toys etc and gives good haircuts for kids?

What do other mothers do when their children refuse to get haircuts (children with fear of everything)
I'd love advice.
My child is literally afraid of everything.

amother

Lime

Wed, May 20 2015, 11:27 pm

sounds like my kid...afraid of everything! He sort of lets us do it at home (either me or dh). Do you have a cutting machine? Or you can even use a scissor he's so young it's ok if not perfect. would he let that?
I know that for us, even a barber shop with toys and cars, etc.. did not help. He was still afraid.
btw, was he as difficult as mine was with toilet training?

I would be curious if you have looked into research or ideas what to do for such a child...I would love ideas.

Bitachon101

Thu, May 21 2015, 12:04 am

My husband bought haircut machine and scizzors but ds would not let him near him.
I tried too and put up with a whole fit. I managed to get a few snips on the neckline when he started a tantrum and I gave up.

Toilet training.... Don't remind me! I was sure I was getting grey hair with each h attempt! BH he really got past it tho he sometimes makes me come and "help" him for the security of knowing I'm there.

I'm at a total loss with advice for this
(It comes to play in many settings, a recent visit to the doc was an experience that left me almost bawling my own eyes out.) But for the immediate present, I gotta figure out how to get his hair cut.

On the one hand he is a very good kid and it upsets him when he sees bigger boys and boys his own age doing things that are "bad".

But when it comes to his maintenance the fear is intense. Cutting nails was like climbing mount Everest until recently I somehow distracted him while I cut his nails and he realized it wasn't so bad and now he only let's me do it if he gets a bribe.... And even then he has a hard time letting me start and keeps wanting to pull away but remembers the bribe.

The bribe trick hasn't worked for haircuts yet tho....
I'm sure other ppl in lakewood have felt with this... Was there no place that was able to help?

amother

Gray

Thu, May 21 2015, 7:03 am

You can count my DS in too. His upsherin haircut was a NIGHTMARE! He needs a haircut for Shavuos and today's the day. I've been dreading it all week.

Barber? Forget it. When we initially cut his hair on his birthday DH had to hold him and I cut it whilst he was throwing himself about and screaming. *awful memory*

Since then whenever he had his always-belated haircuts he always insists we do in the exact same way. So DH has to hold him in the weird precarious position that he did the first time, again, whilst I struggle with the clippers and have to twist in funny ways to get everywhere. Every time. And he needs a prize every time too.

It also take ages until he agrees as he keeps postponing it all the time with lousy excuses. It 'aint easy!

imasinger

Thu, May 21 2015, 7:04 am

I could write a book about haircut woes! My DS has sensory issues. I am only now reaching a point where I don't feel obligated to tip triple for the stylist's trouble, and stand right next to him ready to hold and help.

Here are a few things that worked for us.

1. Don't let him say no. Haircuts might not be fun, but everyone has to have them. Let him observe other family members getting haircuts.

2. Do it frequently. Half his battle is getting used to the sensations. Because the struggle is so unpleasant for a mom, I would push it off until I just couldn't. This was counterproductive. Better to take him every four weeks or less.

3. Figure out what is the most uncomfortable, and make it less so. For my DS, it is the back of the neck. Before the haircut, both of us rubbing that area with a hand or a soft brush seems to help desensitize it slightly. On bad days, we just let that part go.

We still request that the stylist not use a blow drier after the cut is finished. I'd rather have loose hairs to clean at home than a screaming kid.

4. Change position. When my DS was 3.5, he took his haircuts standing up next to the barber chair. Over time, he got better about sitting in one.

I have a cellphone I let him play on when he sits. If you are in Lakewood, you might not, but there are handheld electronic devices that are only for children's games, like Leapfrog.

5. Let him feel the clippers on his hand before they go on his hair.

6. Let him call for breaks. Any time he needs to regroup, the stylist can stop for a count, and then go for a count. ("They'll stop while you count to 20, and then cut for 20, OK?")

7. Have a treat for good behavior as soon as it's done. Define good behavior as any progress at all since the last haircut. ("You only wiggled and screamed for 8 minutes this time, yay you!")

8. Daven! Don't give up hope. My DS is almost 9, and b"H, on Lag Ba'omer, I sat in the waiting area while he got his haircut. I almost made a shehecheyanu.