Yom Tov Loneliness

Sanguine

Fri, May 22 2015, 7:06 am

doctorima wrote:

If you're comfortable telling us roughly where in Brooklyn you're located, maybe some imamother's who live in that area will be able to PM you to invite you over for a meal.

Hi Chanzy. This is a good idea. If I still lived in Brooklyn and if you told me that you lived in my area of Flatbush, you were MO (if you're Chareidi you might not feel comfortable eating at my house - that's why), I would take a chance and invite you for a meal. It's less of a risk for me cause I have a husband and kids, (though you're new here so I would think carefully cause I might be setting myself up for some nut stalking my family forever Wink

).

And I do have to warn you (you probably know), this is the internet and none of us are exactly what we say we are Silly

. Sometimes we discover people here who we know IRL. Or it becomes obvious after a while when you're describing the same school as another mother. And there are also people who you think you really know but they're a fake...

So I don't know if you want to give away details or if anyone else here does either since you're so new here. But maybe someone here will still invite you - or maybe if you get very involved in this forum you'll have Yontif invitations by Rosh HaShana.

Sanguine

Fri, May 22 2015, 8:56 am

Sanguine wrote:

).

And I do have to warn you (you probably know), this is the internet and none of us are exactly what we say we are Silly

Quoting myself to add - So now I spoke to my Mom - she's in Flatbush - and told her I'm sending her a guest for a meal LOL

. But what she did say is that they are having over 4 "single"/widowed women for various meals. These are women that are her friends and are now alone. What I'm saying is that there are a lot of "(now) single" women out there. While it may seem like a smaller community is warmer, there are so so many people to meet in Brooklyn. Also I'm always surprised at my parent's "new" friends. People they had no time for when they were raising a family are suddenly coming for a Shabbat meal since even couples have a relatively empty house once the kids are grown and moved away.

This Chag may be very hard for you but as you meet other women (in shul, sheurim, speakers, volunteering...), you'll have friends, single or married, who will think of you on Shabbat and Chagim.

amother

Slategray

Fri, May 22 2015, 3:21 pm

chanzy65 wrote:

Those are good ideas, but unfortunately, I am the single parent that used to get invited out. I am definitely not in a position to invite others to me. My living arrangements aren't too great right now. For my case, I am thankful that I do not have a husband anymore. I am thankful for my children and grandchildren, but I cannot spend Yom Tov with them. Maybe going to shul would help; maybe people would get to know me.

Yes, I was going to suggest going to shul.

It wont be automatic - that you go to a shul and people will befriend you.

Usually it takes a while until someone realizes that you look familiar ...

But it will break up your day and it is a mitzvah to be in shul answering amen...

Believe it or not, you are not alone.

I lived like that for over 10 yrs. It was very, very hard.

Now I am also lonely but since I got married someone with kids I am busy running the house, serving the meals. Not an ideal situation but not sitting alone in a basement anymore.

I hope things get easier for you soon.

I really know what it's like.

Go out and by all the magazines ... binah, mishpacha, ami .... take a walk to the park and just sit for a while ...

Soon, mashiach will come and there will be no more lonely people ...

amother

Aubergine

Fri, May 22 2015, 3:33 pm

OP I bet youre living in a very densely populated neighborhood in Brooklyn, and everyone is too busy to care about or notice a lonely person.

Because the feeling I get is, the more densely populated the neighborhood is with frum Jews, and the less OOT you are, the less they reach out to people who arent already friends and relatives and in their "clic/chevra".

Oy.