S/o of children playing on train tracks

amother

Fuchsia

Wed, Jun 10 2015, 6:13 pm

I absolutely am disgusted by the thought of people allowing a situation to reach such dangerous proportions, especially when it involves their children.
That said, I don't understand why this is public knowledge. How does giving out the exact details of the community online, in public, help make change? Isn't there a better way to address the issue?
It seems to me that discussing an issue like this around the world, is similar to all the neighbors talking about a woman who isn't pregnant yet when her baby is "already" 9 months old. Not our business unless we can make change. Only details that are relevant should be discussed. What is your take on this?
Do you think I am overreacting?
I will admit that I grew up in that neighborhood, so it hit close to home, and that may be causing me to overreact a bit. Because I shared this personal information, I am going anonymous.

Amarante

Wed, Jun 10 2015, 7:06 pm

Why should this be a secret? It was done to disseminate information about a dangerous practice. I would think the most effective way to end this is to make it public. The author of the letter sent a letter to the town paper in the hopes that people would read it and make necessary changes.

What other forums are you worried about as I don't think anyone who isn't impacted by it would have much interest in the story.

The recent horrendous crash of the railroad train that killed many passengers was caused by a woman who got stuck on the tracks. In that case, it appears she was confused rather than deliberately attempting to beat the train.

MagentaYenta

Wed, Jun 10 2015, 7:06 pm

amother wrote:

Posted in a paper that is available to anyone online...and reposted here. I'm sure it was reposted in other forums as well.
Is that really ok?

If it saves someones life it is. It is a news vehicle that posts many informative letters to the community. Where else will the community get the news that people are disregarding the law and the safety of their children?

FranticFrummie

Wed, Jun 10 2015, 11:04 pm

gp2.0 wrote:

When people are negligent with their kids, it's everyone else's responsibility to speak up and make a big fuss. Silence = complicity.

THIS. Thank you for "getting it".

I'm also pretty sure that Lakewood isn't the only town in the world with trains. It's never a bad thing to have a reminder to talk to your kids about safety around fast moving vehicles.

seeker

Wed, Jun 10 2015, 11:17 pm

amother wrote:

Most of those women probably are not on imamother. So, discussing it here amongst ourselves helps them, how?

Why do you think they'e not on imamother? I know for a fact of at least a handful of Lakewood residents on imamother (though the people I know are definitely not the ones the letter is talking about! But still maybe they could help push the community in the right direction?) and I imagine they are a very small representative of that population.

I share OP's discomfort at having this public, but I also understand the choice to do so - not to hock about it, but perhaps the public shame will help pressure people to put a stop to it. And the attention will help motivate the local safety/law enforcement departments to come down harder on it - I'm sure (being the generous soul that I am) that they are already responsible enough to respond to the simple report of the danger because surely they would not want anyone hurt, but at the same time sometimes it can help to light a little media fire to get the engines running faster and stronger. While I find the letter hard to believe (a solid wall of children as far as the writer could see? Really???) if it is indeed as described, this is a situation that needs BIG HARD FAST action. Like start sending CPS to families whose children are found playing on railroad tracks while whistles are blowing (or how about EVER) Where are the people who were arresting parents for letting their 9-year-olds walk their 5-year-olds down the block or whatever that story was that scandalized everyone a few months ago? Here are some very insufficiently supervised kids, come and get them! (well, not literally, but definitely scare the heck out of their parents. THEN if they don't change come and get em maybe.)

MrsDash

Thu, Jun 11 2015, 12:45 am

Nope, you're right, OP, just sweep it all under the rug. Let's all pretend that things are going swimmingly well in Lakewood in regards to the awful driving habits and toddlers running around in the streets without proper supervision. You're concerned about this going public, as if anyone who spends just a few short moments driving there wouldn't immediately notice the insanity? News flash, everyone knows, they've seen it with their own eyes, they've experienced it first hand. After reading that article, this is what you're concerned about? Seriously? Time to get your priorities straight! This reaction is part of the problem in the town. Time for people to take some responsibility, instead of crying public shame and antisemitism.

amother

Copper

Thu, Jun 11 2015, 7:41 am

amother wrote:

Op here. The concern was not raising awareness. The concern was specifying to all the people of the world where exactly the problem is. Are any of you well versed in the laws of Lashon horah? Or are you just stating your own opinions? There are ways of raising awareness without violating these laws.

If that's the case, then Lakewood amothers should also stop complaining about the mikvah and school situation. That's a hell lot of Lashon Hara.

amother

Fuchsia

Thu, Jun 11 2015, 8:35 am

amother wrote:

If that's the case, then Lakewood amothers should also stop complaining about the mikvah and school situation. That's a hell lot of Lashon Hara.

You raise an important point. Maybe people should not be specifying which community they are in when complaining on the main board. If they want help from people in their community, perhaps they should discuss it on a private forum.

Notsobusy

Thu, Jun 11 2015, 8:48 am

amother wrote:

So you think there should be a private forum for every city? Maybe someone is reading this from somewhere else in the world, and tells her sister in Lakewood about this, and she realizes her kid is probably one of those kids and so she takes care of the situation. That other thread may have saved a kid's life.

I live in Lakewood, but not anywhere near the tracks. I would love to say I'm shocked, and I really am, because how can you not realize how dangerous a train is, but unfortunately I see people not realize how dangerous a car is either. It's really scary to see how parents allow their young kids to ride bikes in the street.

When I saw the houses being built next to the tracks I couldn't imagine why anyone would want to live there. Partly because of the noise, but mostly because of my kid's safety.

amother

Slategray

Thu, Jun 11 2015, 8:50 am

amother wrote:

How would you go about it? Just say that somewhere, children are playing on the train tracks?
Presumably the parents of these kids don't know what their children are doing and are way too lax in their supervision. If you say "OUR children are in danger," you have a much better chance of getting their attention. Isn't mild embarrassment a fair price for avoiding a tragedy?

amother

Fuchsia

Thu, Jun 11 2015, 8:53 am

amother wrote:

Personally, I would have found out where these people daven and I would have spoken to the rabbi(s) of their shul(s). That would have been the first thing. If that doesn't work, there are other steps to take. However, I am sure it would work, as I am familiar with the shuls and the rabbis in that neighborhood.

Simple1

Thu, Jun 11 2015, 9:03 am

I understand your discomfort. But I think because people are quick to infer that all Lakewood kids do this.

Actually glutenless, I live somewhat near the tracks, in a different part of town, and this is also shocking and news to me. But Park Ave is way more heavily populated than where I live. And that's the point, hopefully it's not everyone who does this, even in that area.

Also people who don't live in Lakewood could think it's much worse then it is. I do think it's dangerous - but there's room to be stupid - because it is a very slow moving train.

amother

Slategray

Thu, Jun 11 2015, 9:53 am

amother wrote:

Personally, I would have found out where these people daven and I would have spoken to the rabbi(s) of their shul(s). That would have been the first thing. If that doesn't work, there are other steps to take. However, I am sure it wouyld work, as I am familiar with the shuls and the rabbis in that neighborhood.

That's a fine approach, provided that you can identify every kid who has ever played on the tracks.

I would guess that the Rabbi will speak to the fathers and not the mothers. Mr. X comes home from shul and his wife gets all defensive and says that of course she never lets the kids out of sight, it must be somebody else's kids. Or something like that.

This is such a dangerous situation that it's not the time to be delicate.