Do you ever wish you could skip Shabbos?

amother

Natural

Sat, Jun 13 2015, 11:16 pm

If it were up to me, any week with a yom tov wouldn't be allowed to also have a shabbos. Enough is enough. Of course, if someone else did all the work and I just had to change clothes and show up, I'd consider it.

PinkFridge

Sun, Jun 14 2015, 8:28 am

Again, leaving the OP and her stressful situation aside, what about reframing? Not that I have to make Shabbos, etc. but that I get to, I can make Shabbos.
You've all heard that so many of a certain generation were lost not because they didn't keep Shabbos, they did, but with a krechtz...

mommy3b2c

Sun, Jun 14 2015, 9:03 am

amother wrote:

What you are calling chumra is black letter hahaha to me. My rabbi does not make these distinctions you make so I am STUCK. I tell my family not to bother, but they end up doing cartwheels so I can eat there. Rolling Eyes

The thing is, it is NOT Halacha, it is chumra. It is a shame when people think chumras is Halacha and it stresses them out and it makes them resent yiddishkeit. Better to keep less chumras and love yiddishkeit.

amother

Lime

Sun, Jun 14 2015, 9:07 am

mommy2b2c wrote:

Neither you nor I will get the rabbi or DH to see this POV. In an ideal world you are correct.

Beyla

Sun, Jun 14 2015, 10:07 am

Love shabbos, wouldn't skip it, but I just wish there was an eruv here... It's just so hard to be alone with kids at home all day! And shabbos finishes so late now...

zaq

Sun, Jun 14 2015, 11:03 am

PinkFridge wrote:

You've all heard that so many of a certain generation were lost not because they didn't keep Shabbos, they did, but with a krechtz...

Actually, no, I never heard that. And I pointedly ignore any and all speculation about why a certain person or group came to grief.

PinkFridge

Sun, Jun 14 2015, 11:34 am

zaq wrote:

Actually, no, I never heard that. And I pointedly ignore any and all speculation about why a certain person or group came to grief.

Let me rephrase this, since it bothers you so much. You may identify with this: my grandparents from both sides were here before WWII; in one case, they were born here. I think the grandparents who were born here had an easier time with Shabbos than the other set because they knew the language and how things worked but it was a challenge for them both. Both my grandfathers quit plenty of jobs on a weekly basis, IYKWIM. But their generation (and their parents') faced a big challenge, and that was, were they going to project, "We're working hard but oh, is it sweet and worth it", or "Oy, it's tough to be a Jew"? Because, and I quote Rav Moshe Feinstein, zt"l, on this, among the people who did the latter, there was greater attrition in the next generation, who also faced challenges. (And they did, those greatest generation/early boomers: Shabbos to a lesser degree, lack of quality education, peers, etc.)

And as the RBSh"O Himself, said, "Tachas asher lo avadta es Hashem Elokecha b'simcha uv'tuv lev." This is a fragment - since you didn't serve Hashem with simcha...what? What happens? Galus.

I am one of the last people to make correlations and say exactly why x happened to y. But I will learn from reliable interpreters, and the Torah.

ETA: I think this is vastly different than making a correlation about why a tragedy happened (e.g. because of pritzus! Lashon hara! Etc.!). This is looking at process and results. For some reason, the results for many people was that kids drifted away. Is there anything one can learn from what process was employed? And apparently, according to some people with great insight, a big factor may well have been that mesorah without simcha and vibrancy isn't as enduring as mesorah with simcha and vibrancy.
Anyone in business who finds things are slumping will analyze the system.
Of course success in chinuch (like everything) is dependent on siyatta d'Shmaya. But we must do our proper hishtadlus too.

Last edited by PinkFridge on Sun, Jun 14 2015, 7:20 pm; edited 1 time in total

finallyamommy

Sun, Jun 14 2015, 12:00 pm

I only read the first post. I'm also BT, but Shabbos is my favorite part of the week and I could never skip it. Every day of the week, I try to do something l'kovod Shabbos (today already it was washing all the Shabbos clothes and dishes/silver). I see it as a chance to unwind and spend time with DH and catch up with friends.

Eemaof3

Sun, Jun 14 2015, 12:15 pm

So funny that I should read this today. I was thinking on Friday how I would love to just order a pizza and curl up with a movie and popcorn. I could see relaxing on Shabbat AM, maybe mellowing out on the beach. Some days I just want a break from shul and entertaining and feeling restricted. Don't get me wrong -- I love Shabbat and treasure it but just sometimes feel like a change could be nice. It would certainly make me appreciate Shabbat even more.

PinkFridge

Sun, Jun 14 2015, 7:15 pm

Eemaof3 wrote:

Do you work outside the house full time? Is there any way to actualize this fantasy on a random Sunday?

tovasara

Mon, Jun 15 2015, 8:38 am

The only thing I want a break from is covering my hair.

Eemaof3

Mon, Jun 15 2015, 2:32 pm

PinkFridge - Sundays are crazy around here. We do sometimes do dinner and a movie on Sundays but by Friday I am just so wiped out there are times I want the easy route. There - I admitted it.

amother

Mint

Mon, Jun 15 2015, 2:44 pm

When we prepare for Shabbos a little each day Friday is not so hectic-the beauty and break from routine is something to look forward to

imachossid

Mon, Jun 15 2015, 3:09 pm

No matter how crazy Friday is I always look forward to shabbos! Shabbos is my day of rest. I don't know how I could possibly go from one week to the next nonstop, without any break. It's such a ברכה! Maybe try to find ways to make it less stressful for you & than you'll hopefully appreciate its beauty more...

Raisin

Mon, Jun 15 2015, 5:27 pm

Eemaof3 wrote:

PinkFridge - Sundays are crazy around here. We do sometimes do dinner and a movie on Sundays but by Friday I am just so wiped out there are times I want the easy route. There - I admitted it.

who says saturday would be less crazy then sunday?

I find motzei shabbos is a great chilling out time.

I do feel bad for israelis who don't have sunday off. Even though there is often stuff to do on sunday (and some days my husband works) we try and make it a relaxed day.

Lilibet

Mon, Jun 15 2015, 5:34 pm

Not exactly, but some weeks I do want to skip preparing for it. I love cooking, but I do have a have a number of go-to, easy menus, for weeks when there just isn't time.

PinkFridge

Mon, Jun 15 2015, 8:18 pm

Eemaof3 wrote:

PinkFridge - Sundays are crazy around here. We do sometimes do dinner and a movie on Sundays but by Friday I am just so wiped out there are times I want the easy route. There - I admitted it.

Welcome to the human race. We all have our shortcuts, whether with food or disposables.
Though I think Raisin may be on to something about Saturdays not necessarily being so relaxing.