Luzer Twersky | Imamother

MagentaYenta

Mon, Jun 15 2015, 6:41 pm

From the Huffpo. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/......html

I Escaped Hasidic Judaism and Went From Living on the Streets to Being a Hollywood Actor

In June 2008, exactly three years after I got married, I decided to get a divorce. I didn't fall out of love with my wife. In fact, I never fell in love with her in the first place. I simply no longer wanted to have the life I had with her and everyone surrounding her.

My wife was a Hasidic Jew, and when I married her, so was I. But that was no longer the case. I was a 22-year-old man with a long beard and side curls (payes) and all the other markings of a Hasid, but I was an atheist. An atheist surrounded by Orthodox Hasidic Jews. Surrounded by their certainty, their food, their self-righteousness and their minivans.

I hated all of it, so I left and entered a world full of uncertainty and a broad spectrum of ideas about right and wrong.

I had no idea what I was going to do. I had no education beyond Jewish Talmudic studies. I had no friends outside of the Hasidic world beyond a few I met at Footsteps, an organization that supports Orthodox Jews attempting to escape. I had no marketable skill beyond being able to charm your pants off. I had never been on a date. I had never heard of The Beatles. And I thought, "May the Force be with you" meant "May God be with you."

"For most of my life, I believed that all non-Jews hate us and want to kill us."

After leaving the Hasidic world, I spent seven years in various stages of decay. I slept in a tent in Bushwick for several months, lived in a rented Volkswagen Jetta for as long as my credit card limit allowed and crashed with friends. I starved in the harsh street of New York City. When I used my last subway fare to make my way to my sister's (one of eleven siblings) house for leftovers from Shabbat meals, she wouldn't let me in the house because I was wearing jeans.

When I went on dates, I had nothing in common with the women. I knew nothing about their culture, and they knew nothing about mine. I thought all shiksas were harlots, and they thought all Hasidim were landlords and diamond dealers.

Let me answer some revealing questions about Hasidic Judaism. Does it withhold a broad education from their children in order to keep the children narrow-minded and uneducated? Yes. Does it vilify the outside world in order to keep its members from joining it? Definitely. Does it have a fear and/or doomsday element to it? Of course. Is there ex-communication for those who dare to leave? Oh yeah.

I still have not received anything past a 5th grade education. In fact, since I never attended a regular school, I don't actually know what a 5th grade education is -- I just picked a grade that seemed right. I don't know what algebra is; I know I can Google it but I wasn't made to care enough to do so.

"After leaving the Hasidic world, I spent seven years in various stages of decay."

For most of my life, I believed that all non-Jews hate us and want to kill us. I believed that all non jews are murderers, rapists, degenerates and dirty second-class citizens. Of course, they/we aren't but I was taught that in order to make the secular lifestyle less appealing. I was told horrible things would happen to me in this world and the "next world" if I leave. I was told I would end up a criminal or drug addict. Many members of my family refuse to speak to me to this day.

I have had to transition both out of Hasidism and transition into mainstream culture. I have had to find a replacement for the void left by the lack of community and warmth. I had to replace my family, my friends and my moral compass. It was hard leaving everything behind but it was even harder to find something to replace it all with.

Thankfully, as an actor, my professional community is very friendly and inclusive (albeit competitive). I've replaced my biological family with actors and Footsteps members. I have managed to date, to have my heart broken, to have broken some hearts and to grow because of all of it.

I get asked all the time: "Are you happy now?" The answer is an unequivocal, "Yes!" I have friends who love me for who I am, for who I was and for who I am trying to become.

"I had to replace my family, my friends and my moral compass."

Career-wise, it seems I have sought the path of most resistance, deciding to work in a field full of multi-talented human specimens with high cheekbones and jaguar physiques. I'm five foot seven inches, unathletic and have a heavy Yiddish accent. And yet, I've been getting work. My latest film, "Felix and Meira," just beat David Cronenberg at the Toronto International Film Festival for "Best Canadian Feature Film," and I won "Best Actor" at the Torino Film Festival. Next, I will appear in a recurring role in the upcoming season of "Transparent" on Amazon Prime.

But those achievements pale in comparison to the responses I get from people within the Hasidic community who have snuck out to go see the film. They have been yearning to break away but have been told that if they do, they will end up in jail or in rehab, and they believed it. But now, they can counter that with success stories like mine and those of others like me.

The Hasidic community isn't what it used to be even five years ago. With the Internet, every person has access to every flavor of every forbidden fruit his or her heart desires, including my story. It won't be long before the Empire falls. It might not fall completely, but it certainly will be forced to adapt to the 21st century.

The Empire won't go down easy. The Empire will strike back. For evidence, watch the comments section below.

sequoia

Mon, Jun 15 2015, 7:55 pm

"I don't know what algebra is."

Wow.

This shouldn't shock, hurt, or surprise me.

But it does.

PinkFridge

Mon, Jun 15 2015, 8:56 pm

I wish him well, I wish him menuchas hanefesh and hatzlacha.
But I wish someone could write, with the same wide distribution, his or her story of leaving the bubble without leaving Yiddishkeit. And bonus points for keeping strong bonds with his or her family.

sourstix

Mon, Jun 15 2015, 9:07 pm

why in the world does anyone care why he left? if he chose to do so why does he have to tell everyone what he didnt receive? cause now we can pity him. oh nebach he didnt get this that and the other. if you chose another life and had struggles with the former why does everyone have to know about it? a new not so new trend, to besmirch jewish lifestyle, and write a book and make a chilul hashem. if you are happy now, is it important to tell anyone. my hunch is he needs to tell it, to prove that the change he made was a good decision. otherwise why would he have a need to tell? im nauseous from all these going away to have to prove a point.

sequoia

Mon, Jun 15 2015, 9:25 pm

Actually storytelling is a human need and, I would say, a defining human characteristic.

And sourstix, it is the lack of secular education (among other things) that is the chillul Hashem, not the talking about it. Chassidish communities appear to have a harmful shame/honor mentality.

oliveoil

Mon, Jun 15 2015, 9:54 pm

sourstix wrote:

How can you say that? Why are there memoirs by peope who left (with similar difficulty and handicaps) the FLDS or any other extremist group? When people feel they have been greatly wronged, and that wronging continues throughout a whole community to generation after generation of children, they don't want to just save themselves, they want to DO something about the problems. step 1 is awareness. Letting people know. How many people really know the nitty gritty of what goes on in these closed off communities? very few people. It takes a brave person to speak about his or her experiences and share them with others. for the most part, people are not doing it for pity or venegeance, but with the hopes of being part of a systematic change, beginning simply with increasing awareness.

hlweee

Mon, Jun 15 2015, 9:59 pm

There is nothing "going on" in this community. Everyone can do as they please, if they want to. No one has to know what goes on between your four walls. He didn't like the lifestyle, found something else? Good for him. No need to go to the media and bash your community. Have some decency and respect.

oliveoil

Mon, Jun 15 2015, 10:16 pm

hlweee wrote:

Except that there's a lot more to it than that.

It's not like they were born and raised in florida and now they want to move to Wyoming. that would be a big change, and the person might be completely unfamiliar with wyoming, but would have the skills to figure it out.

Here, because of the community these people were born into, they are by default denied the skills needed to succeed outside of that community.

To many (most?) of us, that is just plain wrong.

And that wrong continues to be perpetuated. That's something worth discussing.

MagentaYenta

Mon, Jun 15 2015, 10:18 pm

I didn't know Luzer's background when I saw him in Felix and Meira. This article was a surprise to me and I hoped it would generate discussion.

I read biographies because I think its fascinating how people go from point a to point b in their lives. As Sequoia said up thread, story telling is a part of us humans. When the stories hit closer to home they become more interesting to me, a bit more relevant.

Laiya

Mon, Jun 15 2015, 10:25 pm

PinkFridge wrote:

It wouldn't be sensationalistic enough, or fit the liberal media story-line

Blessing1

Mon, Jun 15 2015, 10:29 pm

Luzer is actually a grandchild of the Viznitz or Skver Rebbi, maybe even for both.

vintagebknyc

Mon, Jun 15 2015, 10:33 pm

PinkFridge wrote:

but how does one do that without being shunned in some way? it's a catch-22, yes?

MagentaYenta

Mon, Jun 15 2015, 10:39 pm

vintagebknyc wrote:

but how does one do that without being shunned in some way? it's a catch-22, yes?

That's what I was thinking. Thanks for asking the question.

MagentaYenta

Mon, Jun 15 2015, 10:45 pm

Laiya wrote:

It wouldn't be sensationalistic enough, or fit the liberal media story-line

Let's face it, here in the US the Jewish press would never cover this issue. And it is an issue. Those of us who are not part of the community who want to learn more about it's impact can learn a bit about them from reading these stories.

I'm not in denial that there are Jews who are being ostracized from their own communities. I frankly am interested in what makes these survivors flourish after their exit. I'm also lucky that I belong to a community that isn't about to censor what I read or inhibit my discussion of the subject.

Last edited by MagentaYenta on Mon, Jun 15 2015, 11:33 pm; edited 1 time in total

wereafamily

Mon, Jun 15 2015, 11:01 pm

vintagebknyc wrote:

but how does one do that without being shunned in some way? it's a catch-22, yes?

I don't see why someone can't leave a community that is not fit for them.

UQT

Mon, Jun 15 2015, 11:17 pm

It's quite hard for kids to break out of the ghetto as well, and there they are really living disadvantaged. Some of them leave at 17 and then get a high school equivalent diploma and go on to become professionals.

My friends husband attended TTI with many chassidish boys who were getting their college degrees. He should stop painting us all with one brush and learn that many, many people hit their 20's with the same situation, make something of their lives and are actually very, very happy.

PinkFridge

Tue, Jun 16 2015, 8:04 am

vintagebknyc wrote:

but how does one do that without being shunned in some way? it's a catch-22, yes?

I don't know. I know this will be an interesting conversation, why is shunning more common in some circles than others. And if that conversation starts I'll stop following the thread. It will likely contain loshon hara that is not necessary for me to hear, at best; at worst it will contain rechilus and ad hominem. The conversation needs to be within the circles; my input is irrelevant.

tigerwife

Tue, Jun 16 2015, 9:41 am

My pet peeve is the usage of 'Hasidic' and then the bashing of many issues that do fall under the umbrella of Hasidism but very much does not encompass all of Hasidic Jewry.

Thanks for giving all of us a bad name, Luzer, even successful, educated and open-minded Chasidim. I cannot deny his experiences must have been bad and painful, but surely by now he is open-minded enough to realize that his community does not represent all of Chassidic Jewry? Not to mention that many secular people do not really differentiate between 'Hasidic' and 'orthodox' Jews.

PinkFridge

Tue, Jun 16 2015, 10:00 am

sequoia wrote:

"I don't know what algebra is."

Wow.

This shouldn't shock, hurt, or surprise me.

But it does.

Even I know that one. Al Gebra was killed in the weekend drone strike. Duh.

Laiya

Tue, Jun 16 2015, 10:55 am

I found the article to be rather shallow because it fails to acknowledge the other’s viewpoint. Any “honest discussion” needs to do that, in a respectful manner (such as reasons for the community’s insularity, the ways in which the insularity has benefitted the community, a historical context, the role of community leaders, differences among different chassidic sects, positive sides to the community, etc.)

And for what it’s worth, I am not chassidish but that’s irrelevant. To many unfamiliar with our world, if you’re religious you’re ultra-orthodox / chareidi / hassidic, all the same.