DD ignores me | Imamother

amother

cornflower

Mon, Jun 22 2015, 12:56 pm

My 4 year old DD ignores me when she doesn't feel like listening. No amount of talking, cajoling, threatening, punishing etc seems to have any affect.

Here's an example:

I asked DD to go to the bathroom before we left on an errand. It was an errand I needed to do and I needed her to come. She totally ignores me. I tried explaining that there wouldn't be a bathroom available for a while and she needs to try. Ignores me.

I've tried various things after she ignores me, but I would love to hear some ideas. I don't react particularly well to this.

To add to this, my sister is very much like this and I don't get along with her. So this behavior induces negative feelings. She is not my first child, and I vastly prefer when my children yell back to this!

TwinsMommy

Mon, Jun 22 2015, 1:02 pm

I do a can quiet countdown to full physical prompting. If that's when bathroom needs to happen I'd remind a couple times then countdown from 5 very calmly. She's 8 but if she's not on the toilet by zero I'd pull down her underpants and place her there and walk away but listen for pee.

amother

cornflower

Tue, Jun 23 2015, 12:03 pm

TwinsMommy wrote:

I've done this.

She doesn't particularly respond well to the counting (it doesn't induce compliance) and I want to move away from physically forcing her to do things.

TwinsMommy

Tue, Jun 23 2015, 9:25 pm

I think my kid figures if I'm going to physically have her do it, or she does it on her own, she's still doing it so she may as well do it on her own. Smile

not so much these days with the bathroom but other stuff--- washing hands AFTER the bathroom for one thing. No fanfare, just physical direction with no speaking. I try not to do it too often but it does work for me. 4 is just a HARD age--- good luck!

imasinger

Tue, Jun 23 2015, 9:44 pm

Even if you aren't close to this sister, she might be a valuable resource. Can you share the story with her, and say that you remember that she didn't like being told what to do, either, and ask her for advice/suggestions?

Alternatively, you could work on your relationship with DD so that she is more interested in compliance. Try reading Howard Glasser's The Nurtured Heart Approach for a very effective strategy.