What would you think if s/o sent you this meal?

lfab

Wed, Jun 24 2015, 1:20 pm

I would be greatful and happy and thankful that someone thought of me and brought me food. Would it be my favorite meal to eat? No, but my DH would be perfectly happy and that would make me happy. After having a baby I'm most concerned about there being food for DH. My kids are little and are very happy having PB sandwiches or noodles and cheese for dinner. The fact that they put in paper goods is very thoughful so no dishes need to be washed. I wouldn't read so much into why they sent what they did but if I had to think of a reason I would assume they had offered to make a meal and then something came up last minute and they were unable to cook. Instead of backing out at the last minute and leaving the postpartum mom in the lurch they did the next best thing by buying food (and did not buy real takeout as it can be cost prohibitive, especially for that many people).
After my most recent baby was born (baby #4) I only received 1 meal. It was also over summer vacation (between camp and school) so I was home all day with all 4 kids including a newborn. By the time dinner rolled around I was exhausted and I would have been very grateful for somebody thinking to send me the makings for deli sandwhiches. In fact I would have been happy with anything, even just a pot of noodles and cheese! The biggest help for me would be not having to think about it, just knowing that somebody was going to give me something that I could put on the table and call dinner (even if it doesn't meet my typical standards for dinner) is the biggest help.

morah

Wed, Jun 24 2015, 1:29 pm

I will just add, the mom might actually be thrilled to see deli after possibly having avoided it for 9 months. And even if it's not the best dinner, it's definitely good for lunch the next day. Easy sandwich for the husband to take to work and to assemble for the kids.

Simple1

Wed, Jun 24 2015, 1:30 pm

OOTforlife wrote:

Also, maybe the person didn't volunteer but got pressed into sending something on short notice.

I thought of this, and it might make me feel a bit guilty. I really think women shouldn't be pressured to cook when they can't.

Otherwise, if this is a meal you are sending with a full heart and good intentions, I would appreciate it, as I would any gift.

Shopmiami49

Wed, Jun 24 2015, 1:39 pm

If you're looking for dan lekaf zechus:

My friend was once supposed to make a meal for someone in the neighborhood and she completely forgot. She remembered right around supper time and felt horrible. So she did something similar - she ran to a nearby takeout and bought a whole bunch of stuff to form a meal and threw in ketchup packets and disposables and took it over like that. I don't think it was her ideal, but it was a pretty good backup plan so the kimpeturin wouldn't be stuck...

Shani88

Wed, Jun 24 2015, 1:47 pm

If I received this meal I would be appreciative that someone went out of their way to provide me and my family with dinner.

If however, you are asking this because you are deciding whether or not to give this as a meal to someone who just had their 5th child, I would suggest you first ask the new mom if this is a dinner she would appreciate. No use in giving food to someone that will go to waste.

My friends and I use Takemeameal when making each other dinners so that the new mom and her family always know what dinners they will be receiving. The new mom is able to list any allergies or foods that she and her family will NOT appreciate so that people do not make her something that her family won't/can't eat. It is also super helpful for the family to know what they will be getting for dinner that night.

ruchelbuckle

Wed, Jun 24 2015, 2:01 pm

Okay, I won't keep anyone in suspense any longer.....

I got a call Friday asking to make a meal for Monday evening. The coordinator sounded like she was in a jam-- it's a busy week here. School is out. Many people have kids home. Others are busy packing up to go to the bungalows, etc.... I also live in a small city-- no takeout here!

I took a look at my calendar, and saw that Sunday and Monday were SUPER busy. So I called back the coordinator and told her: "I am not able to make a fresh meal for this family. However, I can send over everything they need for deli sandwiches. " The coordinator hesitated, then said, "Sure. Thanks so much!"

I felt more than a little bit self-conscious as I delivered, especially since it's not someone I know so well.

Now that I read through the responses, I realize that I could have asked a friend to make a soup to send over with the deli.

But, no, l'chatchila, I don't send deli sandwiches for a woman who had a baby. Smile

Raisin

Wed, Jun 24 2015, 2:17 pm

its better then nothing, but to put things into perspective, when I had a baby I got no meals. But it did not occur to me to ask dh to go out and buy deli, because while a treat, I prefer a hot evening meal. If someone would have come over with such a meal I would have appreciated it. Although it might have been served for lunch.

But it seems like plenty of people here would love such a meal. So don't worry - you could have said no, but you didn't.

Fox

Wed, Jun 24 2015, 2:24 pm

If anything, this thread shows that it's impossible to win when you're trying to feed someone else's family.

Personally, I would have *loved* receiving a deli-based meal that could be plopped in the fridge and served whenever it was convenient or just put out on the table for grazing.

While I appreciated the effort made by people who brought meals including soups and more elaborate dishes, the effort involved in re-warming them was often as much work as it would have been to make a simple meal myself.

I think it's especially nice to send things that can be easily and successfully frozen. Sometimes it's not the first week or two after a new baby that is most challenging -- it's a month or so later when you're sleep-deprived and the new-baby novelty has worn off!

abaker

Wed, Jun 24 2015, 2:29 pm

I'd be quite happy. and as others have said, including all the extras like paper goods, pickles, ketchup is sooo helpful! an easy ready to go meal.

I once had a lady send her daughter over with a foil pan filled with raw chicken/spices/duck sauce and told me how long/what temperature to stick it in the oven. (it was erev shabbos) which I was also thankful for and since she has a large family I figure she couldn't fit it in her oven while she was cooking the shabbos chicken for her family. but I love the things that are simple and dont require me to wash dishes or prepare the meal someone made me

amother

Gold

Wed, Jun 24 2015, 2:31 pm

Basically agree with Fox.

One more point, better not to send too much food that can't be stored/frozen/reheated at a later date (such as lettuce salad or potatoes). Often people get such big portions that they only use a part of it and would love to put some away for a later date. If they can't, they feel bad tossing other people's hard work!

In any case, this thread was a great exercise for me in DLKZ. I guessed that someone volunteered to cook a supper and that day turned out so hectic that they had no time to pull a meal together, so they bought. Almost got it right. Kudos to you, RB, for being so considerate during such a busy time of year and sending over the food! I'm sure it was appreciated (especially since the new mom probably also had her 4 older kids underfoot all day!)

ra_mom

Wed, Jun 24 2015, 2:38 pm

I would think the person was really kind to take care of a meal for me!
I do think that presentation makes a big difference in this particular case. If it's delivered in shopping bags or a box I might think that they think I need groceries and they are helping out a chesed case. But if it's sent in a gift bag or basket, with a note that says mazel tov, it would be very well received.

chouli

Wed, Jun 24 2015, 2:46 pm

We would love to have it!!!! When you send food to someone it doesn't really matter what you send. over the years we got food from many different people. Sometimes the food was barely edible, but we were always grateful. Maybe they will eat it right away. or keep it for later.. you still helped.

summer0808

Wed, Jun 24 2015, 2:48 pm

You're great RB! Personally I need Cooked Food after birth and that's why I appreciate kimpeturin homes so much because they take care of ME!

But, I remember immediately after I delivered I was so starved, hadnt really eaten all day, DH got me a huge deli sandwich and then another. It was a Mchaya. But the next day I needed HOT food.

amother

Magenta

Wed, Jun 24 2015, 2:54 pm

I would assume that they are trying to be unique and send something "shticky" - it's actually quite a cool meal to get, and there is prep involved. Also, in the summer it might be nice to have something cold.

The other week I sent someone homemade burgers, store bought rolls, fried onions, cut up veg, washed lettuce, homemade fries and sorbet for dessert. Yes, a little more effort but the same idea - something yummy and not complicated.

They RAVED about it.

amother

Slateblue

Wed, Jun 24 2015, 2:57 pm

Your meal sounds great. We got something similar from a close friend after I had a baby, and I really appreciated it.
I am still humiliated when I think about a meal I sent to someone who just had a baby: I signed up to make someone a meal, for 2 1/2 weeks before I was due to give birth. Of course, that day I was supposed to make the meal, I went into labor. Instead of just ordering a pie of pizza, which looking back I definitely should have done, I boiled up spagetti and took out the meatballs I had made the day before and stuck in my freezer (made tons to have in preparation of my own baby), and thought that I had fully defrosted it. I dropped that off, along with a salad, on my way to the hospital to give birth. The next week when I went to defrost my meatballs using the same method, I saw that I must have given them food that was still frozen inside Sad

I still can't face her to this day, over a year later. At least your food was thoughtful, a complete meal, and fresh.

groovy1224

Wed, Jun 24 2015, 3:01 pm

amother wrote:

I still can't face her to this day, over a year later. At least your food was thoughtful, a complete meal, and fresh.

What?? You were in labor and dropped off spaghetti and meatballs, and your embarrassed?? Yeah, she probably thought it was a little strange, but why not call her one day and say 'hey so a funny story that I never told you...' and then you guys can laugh about it together?? Why in the world would you be humiliated by this? You had a baby coming out of you, for Pete's sake!!